Home

Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!

Whether you are just beginning to consider the possibility of becoming a single mother, are trying to adopt or conceive, or are already a single mother by choice, we can provide you with information, resources, and the opportunity to create a unique virtual and local support network of your peers.

Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded in 1981 by Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., a psychotherapist and single mother by choice. Thousands of single women, predominantly in their thirties and forties, have joined us since that time and remain with us as they strive to be the best parents they can be.

Our primary purpose is to provide support and information to single women who are considering, or have chosen, single motherhood. Our members meet with one another all over the United States, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond. We network with each other and share information and resources about donor insemination, adoption, and parenting at local levels and/or through our lively online discussion forum and newsletters.

Learn how you can join and connect with our community today!

Website design by ericmarch.com

Leave a comment
Martyrdom?
Posted on by smc

I was recently approached about submitting an essay on single motherhood to a magazine. I sent the editor a précis of my motherhood to date: began trying to conceive when I was 36, unexpectedly conceived identical twins, babies contracted twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome in utero. Had experimental surgery. Babies survived. Had tons of help from friends, sister, and Mom. Moved half a country away when my daughters were four. They’re now eleven .

The editor asked some follow-up questions. Could I talk more about my support network? In what ways is it harder to build one versus having a built-in one, i.e., a partner? What do I do when I want to brag to someone about something “awesome” my kids have done? And whom do I talk to when I want to tear my hair out?

I thought about this for a while before I responded. The editor seemed genuinely perplexed.

Continue reading