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Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!

Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded in 1981 by Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., a psychotherapist and single mother by choice. Thousands of single women, predominantly in their thirties and forties, have joined us since that time and remain with us as they strive to be the best parents they can be.

Our primary purpose is to provide support and information to single women who are considering, or have chosen, single motherhood. Our members meet with one another all over the United States, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond. We network with each other and share information and resources about donor insemination, adoption, and parenting at local levels and/or through our lively online discussion forum and newsletters.

Learn how you can join and connect with our community today!

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A Letter to My Donor

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Dear Donor,

We’ve never met.  In fact, you have no idea of my specific existence, but I think about you a lot.  Sometimes on the subway I’ll see a youngish brown-haired man and wonder if we’re connected.  When an older gentleman or woman passes by, I think about your folks —what they’re like and if they have grandkids.  Other grandkids, that is.

See, I have a son, Isaiah, who’s two and a half, and you, my anonymous sperm donor, made him possible.  For that I thank you with all the gratitude I can summon now and forever.  That sounds like a corny love song lyric, I realize, but the sentiment is true.  I’m so deeply appreciative that something—a little extra cash? some desire to change the life of someone you’ve never met? an inexplicable nudge from the universe?—motivated you to head to a sperm bank some years ago.  With this

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