Welcome to Our Blog!

Jane_Headshot_2_2-150x150I am pleased to announce the start of a blog for the Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) organization. I started SMC in 1981, soon after I gave birth to my son, Eric. I wanted support from other women like me (37, educated, single) and by the miracle of networking and word of mouth, several of us found one another and began meeting in my NYC living room.

We were in our 30’s, and were in varying stages of the process (thinking, trying to conceive, pregnant, adopting). We realized quickly that although we were from differing backgrounds and points of view, we had an important bond — we wanted to share our experiences as new single moms, and provide support and information to women who are thinking about or working on becoming single mothers. We became more organized as we grew in numbers, and chapters started growing up in other large cities across the US. We felt strongly that there was a need for a support network for women who were at the beginning stage of thinking about whether or not this choice would be right for them, as well as for those who had already made the choice to become a mother, and we have been providing that network since our inception.

Fast forward 29 years……..  many thousands of women have passed through our doors. About 50% of our members were “thinkers”, as we call those considering this decision. A large percentage have decided to become single mothers by choice, and a reasonable percentage (about 30%) have decided not to. What was back then a new concept (mature single women CHOOSING to become single mothers? Most people didn’t know anyone like us) is now a well-established trend in our society. At this point, pretty much everyone knows someone who has done this, and we’re better-understood. We’re not radical feminists, we’re not anti-men, we’re just women who want to make an active decision about having or adopting a baby before it’s too late.

Watch this spot for posts from our members about their experiences on their journeys and visit our web site, www.singlemothersbychoice.org for more information about our services!

Jane Mattes, LCSW, Founder and Director, SMC

2 thoughts on “Welcome to Our Blog!”

  1. Thanks for setting up this blog, and for all you've done for us!

    To contribute something:

    Today (May 13, 2010–Mother's Day week) the Washington Post has an interesting article about a high school student who, overweight and from a financially struggling family, is trying to compete on the rowing (crew) team of her high school. In passing, the article mentions that her mother is single and struggling to raise five children. It doesn't say whether the mother is widowed, divorced, or an SMC, but it doesn't matter at this point. It's an inspiring article:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/12/AR2010051205193.html

    Key paragraphs:
    In a sport dominated by the fit and affluent, Maryam lives in subsidized housing, suffers from asthma and struggles with her weight. She's black while the vast majority of competitive rowers are white. Her mother — a medical technician and single parent of five — stretched to pay for her $260 uniform and prayed for the scholarship that is covering part of the club's $750 in fees.

    Yet none of that matters to Maryam, a 16-year-old sophomore who has fallen in love with the water. Or to her mother, Tee Dillard.

    "She told me she wanted to do this. I told her to go for it," Dillard said. "It's expensive, but what can I do? I'm not going to allow that to hinder" Maryam.
    ____
    Row on! Hope all our waters are smooth,
    Wendy in Washington, SMC of Naomi, adopted two years ago

  2. but some of us are radical feminists! i would say we come from a broad range of political perspectives, rather than characterizing us all as "not radical feminists."

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