2 weeks and 2 days until my official due date! I can’t believe it. In many ways it’s gone so slowly… counting the weeks one by one. But in many ways, it’s gone so fast — a year ago I hadn’t even started trying to get pregnant yet! My life has turned upside down in the past year, and I know this past year is nothing compared to what I’m about to face
Am I feeling nervous? Yes, but it’s mostly focused on handling having a child on my own going forward, as opposed to childbirth or handling a newborn baby. Yes, I’m a bit apprehensive about childbirth itself, only because it’s not even close to anything I’ve ever experienced before. Sure, I haven’t experienced everything in life, but many things are gradual (i.e. aging), or I’ve had similar experiences (I haven’t been to Africa, but I have traveled a lot, so I sort of know what it might be like). Childbirth is something so far from anything I’ve experienced. So, I wouldn’t say I’m nervous about it — it’s just that I have NO idea how it’s going to be for me. And, yes, I know handing a newborn on my own will be tough. But I feel confident that I’ll get through those first few months OK. What makes me most nervous, is going forward…. years of handling a baby on my own: emotionally, financially and physically. It’s not going to be easy! I know I tend to take what life throws at me pretty well, but I think this is in a completely different league that what I’ve faced before!
Am I dying to evict this alien inside me? Not really! Yes, it’s getting a bit uncomfortable being this big. Yes, I’m a bit tired of the heartburn and swollen feet. But, I’m having fun being pregnant, and am not yet at the point where I’m dying to get this kid out! And, maybe it’s just a bit about avoiding the fears I have about what’s to come
Am I ready? I know, everyone says “You’ll never really be ready”, and I agree with that! But there are certain practical things I’m trying to get done before the baby arrives. I just finished my Will (and related documents) today — woohoo! The life insurance approval is taking forever, so that’s making me nervous. The house isn’t 100% ready in terms of my move and construction, but it’s almost there, so if the baby were to come early, I’d be OK with how the house is now! My hospital bag is packed, the plan is set for who needs to bring stuff to my house while I’m in the hospital, and I have all the practical things I need for the baby’s arrival.
Am I excited? Yes! I can’t wait to see this little thing that’s been growing inside me for 9 months! I cant wait to see if it’s going to be a boy or a girl. I can’t wait to kiss the big cheeks I’ve been seeing on the ultrasounds. And, I can’t wait to be a Mom!