Should I Wait Longer?

I am a Single Mother by Choice (SMC) and I have a 4 month old son and it’s the best thing I ever did. I started to try to conceive at age 36 and didn’t have a baby until I was 38.5. Fertility is rapidly declining in our late thirties and even if Mr. Right is around the corner, it’ll take you at least a year to figure it out and by then, you’ll be over 40 — and if he truly is Mr. Right, he’ll have no problem with you having a child.

There will always be questions. For me, I was tired of the life I had. At age 36, I looked at myself and people around me and knew that if I didn’t change something, I would still have the same life at 46 — single, childless, dating but not in a relationship, traveling, dining out, dancing, going to birthday parties at bars. I didn’t want to be that person at 46. I had lots of friends who were that person and I felt sad for them.

And I didn’t want to look back when I was 65, and see that I missed my window. So if you continue and don’t have anything different in your life in ten years, will you be happy? If so, you don’t need to make a change. ┬áBut if you want to have a child in your life, now is the time. Once you hit 40, unfortunately, the fertility rate declines even more rapidly. Don’t take too long to think about it!

Bina

2 thoughts on “Should I Wait Longer?”

  1. I am only 23 and yet 10 years from now I don’t want to be living the life I am now. When I was younger I thought I would be married with kids by now. My only life plan is to become a mother. But there aren’t many others out there making the decision at my age to choose to be a single mother.

  2. This was very well said. I appreciate the comment about if I would be happy with my life now in ten years. You described it perfectly (single, childless, dating but not in a relationship, traveling, dining out, dancing, going to birthday parties at bars.) That is exactly my life now and no, I would not be happy still doing all of this in ten years. I am 40 now and my time has run out. I feel a void in my life without a child and I have made the decision to try it alone. Thank you for your perspective. It was helpful!

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