Making the Leap

I just purchased my first vials for intrauterine insemination (IUI)! I was terrified to pull the trigger, but I feel surprisingly excited and relieved! After almost 4 years of “thinking” it feels so good to take control and actually move forward. I thought it might make me really sad to actually purchase the vials because it would mean it is all becoming very real that I’m doing it on my own. But it actually made me feel so happy to know it is now becoming real and I am one step closer to having a baby!

After purchasing, I called my mom and announced, “I am now the proud owner of $4000 worth of semen!” We both laughed hysterically. When I told her I joined the “Semen Club” to get special discounts and offers, she almost peed her pants!! I have found that keeping a sense of humor about this whole crazy, insane, emotional process has been so helpful. I know it might be a long road ahead to get to the point of actually holding a baby in my arms, so it’s either laugh or cry, and right now I am laughing. I’m sure there will be many tears in the months ahead, so I am going to savor this moment, marinate in the pride I feel for taking such a difficult step, and try to carry the feeling with me throughout the IUI.

Wendy

6 thoughts on “Making the Leap”

  1. Picking my sperm donor was a very interesting process. The harder part was picking the egg donor.
    Buying sperm felt very weird. Buying what others get for free. LOL. I’m not laughing because it’s funny, I’m laughing cause I wanted to cry at the time. I’m sure I did. That was last year’s adventure. I learned a lot. I met a lot of great people via the forums. This year’s adventure is adoption. I don’t feel I wasted time, but I really want this ride to be over. I want to just be a mother and get on with it.

    The tears, the pain, the memories, the stirrups, the blood draws, the doctor visits, . . . the baby showers, the tv news stories about people abandoning or abusing their babies. Oh wow! What an experience.

    Be well everyone. You will get what you need. much love.

  2. A sense of humour is definitely important! I started my first IUI cycle in September as well and even started crushing on my donor because he just sounded so scrumptious 🙂

    I’m on to my second cycle this month and was a little disheartened, so this reminder to keep smiling was really welcome.

    My best wishes to everyone!

    1. I crushed on my donor too! Funny. I never saw picture, just saw the profile and heard his audio and audio from the clinic staff. So funny. We even had the same type of career. I wish that had worked out.

  3. So happy for you! I contemplated this for years also and purchased sperm a month ago, and my first IUI yesterday. A sense of humor is key (still working with my very supportive mother about the humor part lol). You should be proud!

  4. Congratulations, and thank you for your post! I recently joined SMC as a “thinker”, but will likely make the move to “trying” in 2016. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for a positive outcome!

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