Fresh Air

A couple of days ago, I read a post on the SMC Members Forum that has helped me shift into a more positive and less fearful experience of early pregnancy. Someone posted the question: how do you deal with the anxiety at this stage? There were many helpful responses, and here’s the one that stated exactly what I needed to hear:

“I had two losses before conceiving my daughter. The first was a very early chemical pregnancy, and mostly reassured me that I could get pregnant. The second was very difficult for me. When I started trying again I was afraid to get a positive result  because I was afraid it would all end again. Any who, when I finally got that positive result, I had several people who were worried for me, and at that point I decided to let them keep worrying, but I was going to enjoy

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I’m Pregnant!!!

announcementYes, you read the title correctly! I’m currently 15 weeks along, and I’m very excited!!

My 1st trimester was a breeze — I was really lucky. No morning sickness at all. I hardly noticed I was pregnant, except for that I was pretty tired. But it was nerve wracking not having any symptoms because I didn’t have the daily confirmation that I was still pregnant. I’m now in the clear, getting bigger and am feeling confident!

Since this is slightly unconventional, I’ll answer some Frequently Asked Questions below (no, I haven’t been asked all these questions, but I have been asked some of them, and I know you’re thinking them! :))

No, you didn’t miss anything… I’m not married.  And, no, this wasn’t an “accident.”

This was very well planned out, like many things in my life. I decided to do this because I wanted to have a baby so

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The Jeep

Gracie had her wrist surgery last Monday, and it went great. It was a ganglion cyst after all—that’s what my gut was telling me, but the tests all reported that it wasn’t consistent with a ganglion—so it’s a relief to have that settled. She was really nervous about the anesthesia, but she was very brave through it all and I’m so proud of her.

My mom flew in to provide moral support, and she waited at home with Isabelle, who got to go to school late because of her sister’s surgery. We got back from the hospital about 10:15, and I swapped kids and took #2 daughter to school. Obviously Grace hadn’t had anything to eat since dinner the night before, because of the anesthesia, but as it happened, I hadn’t either. We had to be at the hospital really early, and the surgery was short enough that I didn’t

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Donor Sibling!

A while back, I posted on my sperm bank’s sibling registry that I was expecting a baby girl on August 2nd. Since mine was a newer donor, I wasn’t surprised that mine was the first post.

But then the other day, I got an email from another mom who’s expecting a baby girl from the same donor! She and her partner are due in November, so my baby will have a donor/half sister just 2-3 months younger than her. I’m so excited! I never had any expectations that she wouldn’t have any donor sibs, and actually kind of wanted her to have them. Since my family is so small, and she may not end up with any siblings or cousins (ok, we have one pseudo-cousin who turned 6 today), I thought it would be really cool for her to have these other “family members”. Not necessarily a huge number, but

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Father’s Day Thoughts From a Teen SMC Child

Allow me to open by briefly introducing myself. My name is Jocelyn, I was born in San Francisco, California, I live in Florida.

I suppose you could say I was born because of a sperm donor. Biologically, that’s true. But the real REASON I’m here is because my mother wanted a child. To me, that’s all that matters and I could leave it at that. But because I enjoy this topic, I won’t.

So, maybe it’s how I was brought up. I knew my entire life I was the product of a sperm donor. No big deal. I have a vague recollection of my elementary-school Spanish teacher teaching me how to say “donor” in Spanish. My uncle’s a genealogist, so when family tree time came around, everyone was so absolutely stunned by just how far back it went on my mom’s side that they didn’t notice or care that I

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What is “Single Mothers by Choice”?

I met my friend Rhonda through a local chapter of the national organization Single Mothers by Choice (SMC). She and I both joined around the same time. The first time we met in person I got out of my car, and I was greeted by a tiny woman in a shimmering magenta jogging suit, her eyes hidden behind big round black sunglasses. We nervously shook hands and began talking about who we were and where we came from and how far along we were in our journey as we walked a 3-mile loop that winds along the Mississippi River and back downtown.

The second time we met we sat in a crowded coffee bar, and I drank a decaf latte a week after my second insemination. I played with the lid on my drink and told her that I didn’t want to sound terribly shallow but I was afraid of

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The Postmodern Family Vacation

I sifted through my Sunday paper one morning, pulling out the usual bits – coupons, TV guide, Target ad, and USA Weekend. On the latter’s cover were pictures of the characters from the debut of a new tv show, and the corresponding story inside was titled “The Postmodern Family.”

“The Postmodern Family?”  Really?  How could I resist?

The article talked about the multitude of upcoming shows based on non-traditional families. TV historian Tim Brooks notes that television has often presented us with non-traditional families, as it reflects what’s already going on in our current society. For example, The Brady Bunch in its time reflected “the trend of a blended family,” where adults with children from previous marriages came together to form a new family unit.

This particular example rather amused me, as I just had a Very Brady Summer Vacation…

Back when I was pregnant with my son, there was

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Surprisingly Thinking My Family Is Complete

While I’ve talked about having three children for as long as I can remember, and taken action to prepare for my 3rd attempt at trying to conceive, I’ve surprisingly found myself thinking that maybe I’m really done. That thinking doesn’t actually sit well with me because it’s such a radical shift, and that makes me question it, but I keep coming back to the same place.

Maybe it would be nice to stick with two, two who are close enough in age that they will be able to go to the same school until my daughter starts middle school, allowing me, when she starts K and he starts pre-K, to live the life I’ve always dreamed of; working part-time, being the one that gets to pick my children up and take them to their activities, having their friends over after school and really getting to know them, being the primary

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