Category Archives: donor insemination
I want to share my vision of the world with my child/children; that life is expansive, not restrictive. that life is joyful and involves down time and bad times, but is exhilarating more often than it is draining or exhausting. I have lived in several countries, and cultures, and I want to pass on the knowledge that the world is a large place, and that there is a place and purpose for everyone, even several of each for you in one lifetime. I want to open their hearts to really believing in and pursuing their dreams.
I want to integrate them into my very large, loving family–they have numerous cousins waiting for them!
I want to teach them my native language, and pass on our rich Indian heritage to them. I want them to meet their great-grandmother, one of the greatest ladies I know. I want them to feel the
The day after my donor conceived son was born, Abby, my birth partner, or who I called my birth maid, told me, she had had a conversation about marriage with my dad in the car on the way back to the houseboat from the hospital. She had asked him why parents are so obsessed with their children getting married. My dad had said that he suspected that it was really about passing along genes and ensuring that the family continued. Did he care whether I got married now that I had given him a grandchild? she asked.
“Absolutely not,” he said.
My mom stayed with us for the first month after I brought Alexander home, which was a complete blur. The main thing I remember is we got adopted by a seagull that would show up on my dock and literally knock on the door with his beak around the
An SMC is a single mother by choice. As I ventured deeper into this world and joined the SMC organization, I discovered there were many thousands of women like me here in the US and around the world. We share similar stories, similar hopes and dreams, and yet can also be very different in our backgrounds and values. I interact with SMCs every day, and in hearing their stories, realized how unremarkable my own journey is.
Single moms certainly are not unusual, but the basic difference is that most SMCs identify themselves quite strongly as women who have made a decision not to wait for marriage, and who have carefully considered the social, emotional, financial, and legal issues before proceeding to become mothers on their own.
Occasionally I toss out the term SMC in conversation, perhaps because I hope it becomes less of an unusual idea. Sometimes I’m surprised
Unless you are nearing or over 40, single and childless, you cannot imagine how I feel and that’s not your fault – we are just living different experiences. I have not been able to express to my friends how it FEELS to be in my situation, but I am now connected with other women who TRULY understand what it’s like to want a child so much that they will do it on her own – even when deep down they really want the whole family package. Seriously, if we were given more time biologically, we would wait for the right relationship, but we don’t have that luxury.
It means so much to me to have access to people who are going through what I am going through and to share their experiences too. The more I read on the SMC Forum, the more convinced I am that I am making
Hi Miss C —
I am excited for J to be in your class this year; she’s excited for “school” to start.
I would like to explain a little bit about our family. We are a mom-and-kid family – I am a single mother by choice. There is no father involved in J’s life, nor has there ever been; there was no divorce, separation or death. Of course, J has an extended family, a Nana and many “aunties” and “uncles” (but no father and no brothers or sisters).
J’s understanding of our family structure is evolving. One of her favorite books is “The Family Book,” which explains that families come in all sizes and configurations. We also read an age-appropriate story about her unconventional conception. I bring this to your attention
Editor’s note – Last year, Szuchman reached out to the Single Mothers by Choice group requesting to speak with moms in the group for a story regarding the debate over “opting-out.” Following is her article from “Women in the World” on The Daily Beast.
At 35, Talia Braude left her job at a high-end architecture firm in Manhattan to be her own boss.
At 38, she bought a vial of sperm, via the California Cryobank, from a guy with blue eyes who is an avowed atheist.
At 39, she became a single mom.
Talia and her baby boy, now 10 weeks old, live in a fourth-floor walkup with a cat named Jini, in a Brooklyn brownstone she renovated with her business partner. As her own boss, she doesn’t exactly get paid maternity leave, so she went back to work pretty quickly, her sister helping out with the
Choosing whether or not to become an SMC is a very personal decision. And no one can make this decision for you. Only you can figure out which path is right for you and which will make you happiest and most fulfilled.
That said, of course there are hundreds of ways of living child-free, just as there are hundreds of ways of living with children. Each person has to decide what parts of her/his life she/he wants to explore or expand. Everyone’s going to find fulfillment in a different way. Some will travel. Some will study and learn. Some will explore their own creativity.
For everyone who had a difficult road to parenthood, there’s another who became pregnant on the first try. For everyone who felt that the first few months were impossibly difficult and exhausting, there’s another who felt that everything was smooth sailing. For everyone whose child was
He died 12:05am, January 2, 1998.
Like so many things in my life, this whole SMC journey would be very different if he were still with me. I know for a fact that he would struggle with it — that he would be afraid that I was saying the role he played in my life was not important because of my saying that I could raise a child without a father. (We actually had a piece of that discussion before he died. I wish we had finished it.)
On the flip side, I believe he would be proud of me and support me and tell me I will be a good mother. And I know he’d be a wonderful father figure to have in my child’s life.
See, my parents had reverse roles in a lot of