Category Archives: donor insemination
Early in my parenting journey, I used to get extremely irritated by this phrase, and spent some time navel-gazing, trying to figure out why it bothered me so much. I never really came up with a satisfactory explanation. Was it because I was insecure in my abilities and that insecurity was exacerbated by having someone else point out how difficult single parenting is? Was it because people who say they don’t know how I do “it” don’t really understand what “it” is, so the statement is meaningless — because it merely exposes a lack of critical thinking on their part? Was it because I was uncomfortable being made out to be some kind of superwoman? Was it because making a big deal of my situation seemed to devalue the … Continue reading
I am trying to conceive (ttc) and this is how I explain it to my friends when they ask.
My life as a single person is selfish. My money, time and energy go to things that please me and to do things I enjoy. Just one year ago I hopped on a plane and went to Nicaragua to learn to surf. Everything I do every single day is for me. Every single day is selfish and self centered.
I am not a selfish or self centered person in my heart, and this life is uncomfortable. I don’t like doing things to merely entertain myself, but since I have no one in my life (husband or kid) to focus on, and as I was approaching my 40s, … Continue reading
“I WANT DADDY!” Cara woke up from a late nap crying and fussing and then started screaming whaling “I WANT DADDY!” She has never expressed any desire for a dad or concern about not having a dad but there’s been a couple of threads on the Forum recently about other four-year-olds wanting dads who never really had seemed to care before. Still, she’s really shown zero interest so I thought maybe I misunderstood. Do you mean Papa? My dad. You want Papa? “NO! DADDY DADDY!” Still thinking she must be saying something else. Dani? (A good friend and babysitter.) Do you want Dani? “Nooooo! Daddy!” Getting desperate, I start throwing other ideas out: Grammy? Blankie? She gets more ticked off. “NOOOOO! DADDDY! I WANT MY DADDY!”
I give up on translating and start the talk. Ya know the one. Cara, you know we don’t have a dad in our family. … Continue reading
There came a time in my late-20s where I felt like my life was at a crossroad. I was stuck in a job I wasn’t crazy about with a non-existent social life and no change on the horizon. Something had to give, I just wasn’t sure what.
My first attempt at change landed me in the world of internet dating. Prior to this, I’d had a few almost-relationships, but nothing that every really got off the ground. I had several friends who had great luck on the internet, so I thought surely my Prince Charming was also only a few mouse clicks away. Boy, was I wrong! I was only attracting creeps, weirdos or men who didn’t want kids, didn’t want any more kids, or didn’t want kids anytime soon. I realized I wasn’t dating, I was interviewing potential fathers.
Forget dating – lets fix the job situation. I had a … Continue reading
Late in my pregnancy with Ruthie, I told everyone that this would almost certainly be my last baby. I said that even if I won the lottery or married a millionaire, I still wouldn’t choose to have another child; that I was okay with stopping at two, for a variety of reasons that I enumerated at length.
Well, I’m here now to tell you that all of that was bull. It was mostly my way of trying to convince myself to feel that way. In reality, it made me intensely sad to think of never experiencing pregnancy again, and, even though I didn’t even have the baby yet, it made me sad to think of not having another baby.
After Ruthie was born, for at least the first year, it was painful for me to even look at posts from my online friends who were pregnant or having new babies. … Continue reading
He needed some time to decide if he was ready to love a woman with a young child, and become the instant family he never thought he would have. (or want!)
I knew then that we would be together and told him, with a confidence I am still amazed I had: “you take as long as you need… I am not giving up on this, or you, and I will still be here after you decide.”(and I meant it)
A year later, we celebrated Thanksgiving together. We spent the day at my sister’s house with my entire family, and it was wonderful. Overwhelmingly, amazingly wonderful. The best Thanksgiving I have ever had.
Now Kevin and I are living together and creating this bond that I have never had with any other relationship. It … Continue reading