Category Archives: donor insemination
Editor’s note – Last year, Szuchman reached out to the Single Mothers by Choice group requesting to speak with moms in the group for a story regarding the debate over “opting-out.” Following is her article from “Women in the World” on The Daily Beast.
At 35, Talia Braude left her job at a high-end architecture firm in Manhattan to be her own boss.
At 38, she bought a vial of sperm, via the California Cryobank, from a guy with blue eyes who is an avowed atheist.
At 39, she became a single mom.
Talia and her baby boy, now 10 weeks old, live in a fourth-floor walkup with a cat named Jini, in a Brooklyn brownstone she renovated with her business partner. As her own boss, she doesn’t exactly get paid maternity leave, so she went back to work pretty quickly, her sister helping out with the
Choosing whether or not to become an SMC is a very personal decision. And no one can make this decision for you. Only you can figure out which path is right for you and which will make you happiest and most fulfilled.
That said, of course there are hundreds of ways of living child-free, just as there are hundreds of ways of living with children. Each person has to decide what parts of her/his life she/he wants to explore or expand. Everyone’s going to find fulfillment in a different way. Some will travel. Some will study and learn. Some will explore their own creativity.
For everyone who had a difficult road to parenthood, there’s another who became pregnant on the first try. For everyone who felt that the first few months were impossibly difficult and exhausting, there’s another who felt that everything was smooth sailing. For everyone whose child was
He died 12:05am, January 2, 1998.
Like so many things in my life, this whole SMC journey would be very different if he were still with me. I know for a fact that he would struggle with it — that he would be afraid that I was saying the role he played in my life was not important because of my saying that I could raise a child without a father. (We actually had a piece of that discussion before he died. I wish we had finished it.)
On the flip side, I believe he would be proud of me and support me and tell me I will be a good mother. And I know he’d be a wonderful father figure to have in my child’s life.
See, my parents had reverse roles in a lot of
I noticed this morning, rushing to meet friends and go to a new play space, that I was feeling crabby. I was rushing my two-year-old, Sage, along, and being abrupt with my SMC friend’s five year old (who I had offered to watch for the morning.)
And I was watching myself, as if from a distance, thinking, “What do I have to be snappy about?”
I had almost no plans this weekend, and I got up Saturday morning and put away the laundry and went grocery shopping. And Saturday afternoon I did a big cooking project, so I wouldn’t have to cook for a few days.
So what do I have to feel stressed out about?
My parents were awfully short tempered, and it wasn’t a nice way to grow up.
And I notice that I am quick to correct Sage, quick to instill consequences. I don’t know how much
Today I went to a local SMC meeting—the first I’ve attended since my son’s birth 3 months ago. It was at a local playground on a beautiful day. And there were so many beautiful women with their beautiful children. There were actually quite a few of us with infants under a year of age. It’s always empowering and inspiring for me to attend these meetings. And as my son grows up, I hope it will be for him too — to see other families like his, and feel it is completely “normal.”
Interestingly, I was discussing with another SMC who has a 6 month old how life is so different “on this side.” No more dating, late nights at bars or dancing. No more wondering if “he”will ever call you back. Totally liberating and sweet. That other life I had— it was good for a while, but I knew I
Greetings from the other side of pregnancy! A recent post on the SMC online Forum got me reminiscing about my pregnancy. I found being single and pregnant with twins one of the most difficult and lonely periods of my life. I had planned and budgeted for a singleton and kept my fingers crossed that I wouldn’t have a multiple pregnancy, but lucky me, I got a two-for-one discount from the sperm bank. I’m actually quite happy about it now, but it was not good news for me at first.
At the time I was definitely excited, but the feelings of excitement were so overwhelmed by intense fear, sadness, and guilt. I was so scared about being a single mom to two infants that if I thought about it for too long I would get the shakes and my eyes would well up. I would just take a deep breath and