Category Archives: pregnancy
I’m pregnant but don’t know if I’m having a boy or a girl. I have to admit that one little part of me, deep deep inside, has hoped Honey Badger is a boy. Someone to carry on the family “name,” which is an absolutely archaic conceit that I’m ashamed to admit that I even give any credence. But, there it is. And of course, I would love a girl too — any baby is a blessing.
But I’ve just been feeling so much pressure now of what it means to possibly be bringing up a black boy in this world. And I am so pre-emptively afraid. What if I don’t teach this kid about how to act in front of police officers? How do I help him understand that he needs to be compliant … Continue reading
Since my son was a few months old, the SMC discussion Forum has been an important part of my daily life. I so value the perspectives of moms like me who are doing this solo and are so wise and warm. I haven’t yet taken the step of meeting SMCs in my area and I wonder if it is because I feel a teeny bit apprehensive. I came to SMC-hood differently than many of you, but I hope to share with you here why I feel so fully a part of you now.
Back in 2008 I was a divorced 44 year-old woman, busy, happy, fulfilled. Had my own business, loved the freedom; I used to say it was no coincidence that I didn’t have a boss or a husband, or that I drove a stick shift car — I liked to be in control! I was in an on-again-off-again … Continue reading
Some of our members recently posted about what they are thankful for as we approached the Thanksgiving holiday here in the US. These are some of their representative thoughts, and here’s hoping that everyone had a good Thanksgiving.
My great job and the staff I work with
My wonderful sisters and family
The donor sibling registry, which connected Shane and I to his half siblings and their families
The natural beauty around me and the glorious pair of eagles I see every day on my way to work
My son’s donor, who gave me the greatest gift in life
And, trumping everything is my precious son. There is no greater joy in life to me than this wonderful, funny, and compassionate child. I am most thankful for being his mother.
I’m thankful for my family, who not only didn’t bat an eye when … Continue reading
It was a dream come true.
I’m not really down with traditional showers. For reasons I won’t get into here, because I will surely offend someone. (Please note: to my friends, especially those who journeyed to my shower… I will gladly attend your showers! With joy and love. Seriously. Please don’t not invite me because of this blog post!)
For me, I wanted something less present oriented and more… I wanted it to focus on the life transition I am making, and not on the stuff I will need for it. Because babies quickly outgrow rattles and cute onesies (and they are cute!) and teddy bears… but parenthood is forever.
Especially because of not having a wedding, I wanted something a bit ceremonial. Something to celebrate a life passage.
My shower was amazing because my sister created a Blessingway ceremony for me. … Continue reading
On June 23, 2006, I walked out of the hospital with a five pound baby, a couple of monitors, a bag of medicine, a handful of prescriptions, a list of doctor appointments and a portable O2 tank. The day we left Lenox Hill Hospital was bittersweet since many of the nurses and doctors had become like family to me. Every single picture of the occasion is blurry since even the friend behind the camera was weeping.
On June 23, 2006, Eliza, my Mom, Dad and I strolled 500 yards to my apartment, an apartment from which I could see the NICU every day and night.
That walk on June 23, 2006 was the first time in her 100 days on this earth that Eliza had seen a blue sky, the sun, a tree, smelled a flower or even saw a good old NYC pigeon. We were brave and took an extra lap … Continue reading
Greetings from the other side of pregnancy! A post on the SMC Forum today got me reminiscing about my pregnancy. I found being single and pregnant with twins one of the most difficult and lonely periods of my life. I had planned and budgeted for a singleton and kept my fingers crossed that I wouldn’t have a multiple pregnancy, but lucky me, I got a two-for-one discount from the sperm bank. I’m actually quite happy about it now, but it was not good news for me at first.
At the time I was definitely excited, but the feelings of excitement were so overwhelmed by intense fear, sadness, and guilt. I was so scared about being a single mom to two infants that if I thought about it for too long I would get the shakes and my eyes would well up. I would just take a deep breath and think … Continue reading