Category Archives: single mother by choice

Good Lord!

Good lord”, said my therapist when I told her I was trying to have another baby with my husband. “You haven’t even recovered from your other 2 baby losses. And all you do with your husband is fight. You don’t even seem to like him.”

“Good lord”, said my therapist when I told her about all the infertility things I was now going through again, for a third time. The mood changing Clomid, every diet known to increase fertility, 2x a week acupuncture, awful tasting tea made by a Chinese only Chinese pharmacy in Chinatown, and lots of lots of awful, awful timed sex, timed with the very best in $299 ovulation predictor kits. “Are you sure you want to put yourself through this now? I think you should SLOW DOWN you’re not even 35 yet. And you and your husband are not getting along.

”“Good lord”, said my therapist

Continue reading
Posted in baby, donor insemination, infertility, motherhood, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting, sperm donor, trying to conceive | Leave a comment

SMC Ambassador

An experience I had this evening left me thinking about how far I’ve come from the scared (okay, terrified) almost-40-year-old woman who started tentatively on the road to single motherhood 4 years ago and I wanted to share it, since many of you may have had similar experiences.

When I decided to move forward with this crazy plan, the thing that scared me most was what on earth I would tell people about my “status” as a single, pregnant woman. I see similar posts on the SMC organization’s “Thinking” section of the online Forum and my heart always goes out to those women. I want to reach out to them and reassure them that in the larger scheme of things it really won’t matter after a few days or weeks or months. At least, it didn’t for me. I embraced my pregnancy with such joy that by the time I

Continue reading
Posted in donor insemination, parenthood, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother | Leave a comment

Goodnight Moon

It’s been a tough week. Two huge projects at work have left me stressed out and exhausted. And it’s my son’s first week back to school as a newly minted first grader. He seems to be doing ok, but it’s a major adjustment nonetheless, for both of us.

Our rituals soothe us, particularly at night after a long day. And for even more comfort, we’ve retreated into the past. This week’s bedtime selections have been our old standbys, the board books I started reading to my son when he was an infant, the ones I still know by heart. A Color of His Own, The Runaway Bunny, Are You My Mother?, and tonight, Goodnight Moon. Although my son can read these books to me now, we both still enjoy it when I read aloud to him, it’s part of the ritual.

We snuggle in together in his bed, me carefully

Continue reading
Posted in bonding, mom, motherhood, parenting, school, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting | Leave a comment

Plan B?

momkissbaby

I never pictured myself as a single mom; but then again, I didn’t always picture myself as a mom, period. Unlike some of my friends who were always talking about having babies during their 20s and 30s, I said things like, “I’ll have kids if I marry a guy who I know will be a great dad, and who really wants to have kids,” but I wasn’t obsessed with being a mother at all. I wasn’t even comfortable around children, and didn’t think they liked me very much. In fact, before I had Jayda, I’d never changed a diaper, and could count on the fingers of one hand how many babies I’d actually held. And yet, as soon as the nurses put my newborn child on my chest, I knew I was put in this world to be Jayda’s mom and care for her.

There was a point in my

Continue reading
Posted in donor insemination, motherhood, parenthood, plan b, pregnancy, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting, sperm donor, thinking | Leave a comment

Happy New Year!

 Single Mothers by Choice wishes everyone a Happy New Year!

Prueba1993

 

Continue reading
Posted in single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays to Everyone From Single Mothers by Choice!

tree

Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother | Leave a comment

Time to Deck the Halls

The title of this post could be ‘Disappointment’, but……  Well, you’ll see.

Yesterday Tate and I returned home from my parents’.  I had come back to our place on Friday afternoon to clean up, sans small child, and get the Christmas tree and decorations out.  I lugged our huge, yes artificial, tree up the stairs and got the boxes all out from under the stairs in the garage.  I was so excited to put the tree together and hang the ornaments with Tate on Saturday.  I was hoping to start our own tradition of putting our tree up the Saturday of Thanksgiving complete with Christmas music on the CD player, a chill in the air, and children laughing!  Yes, my child laughing was part of my tradition picture.  My child putting an ornament or two on the tree was part of my tradition picture.  The two of us hanging out

Continue reading
Posted in child, Christmas, family, mom, motherhood, parenthood, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting | Leave a comment

Chanukah and Our Little Miracles

Last year I lit the candles before dinner, and she would sit at the table, look over to the menorah, and sign out “ohhhhh”. She thought it was pretty. This year, at 2.5, she selects the candles each night. And while I have tried to get her to help me light the candles, she gets a little frightened when the time comes, maybe because I am trying to tell her to hold the shamos candle at the bottom, not the top. But she is fascinated watching the flames, and watching the candles melt. The first night we waited till all the candles were out to go up to bed, but last night she needed a bath. And one of the first things she said after we came downstairs this morning was “the candles melted, they’re all gone”. This is the first year I’ve done presents each night, and she is

Continue reading
Posted in Chanukah, donor insemination, insemination, motherhood, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting | 1 Comment

Unsure, Unsettled, Undecided

From Unsure, Unsettled, Undecided:
The pendulum of my SMC decision-making has most recently swung toward NO WAY!! How could anyone ever do this? How could I ever do this? NO, NO, NO!!! I had been more positive about choosing to be an SMC, but I haven’t been able to shake this place I am now in. I could use some feedback about the different stages you have gone through as well as some of your thoughts and feelings about how one can do something seemingly so emotionally, physically, and financially difficult as having and raising a child alone. At the moment, only the model of two parents together works for me, no matter how I turn it around. I would like to get back to a more open place about it.

Dear Unsure:
First of all, you don’t have to do this and that’s okay. Second of all, why

Continue reading
Posted in baby, decision, donor insemination, mom, motherhood, parenting, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single women, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting, thinking | Leave a comment

A Shift in the Tears

Soon after I joined Single Mothers by Choice, the “Welcome” email arrived and I was excited to receive it. I was clicking through the various links in the email, reading absolutely everything. Then, from somewhere in the depths of my soul came this horribly painful, primal and unrecognizable half gasp, half cry. I immediately covered my mouth with my hand almost in disbelief that the sound had come from inside of me, and the tears started to flow.

I was shocked at how hard these feelings had hit me, so deeply that I, without thought and warning had cried out. This said to me yes, if I wanted to become a parent, I better get moving as I may not ever have a partner to start a family with. The route of becoming a SMC may be my last call for motherhood. How ironic that just a few years ago

Continue reading
Posted in adoption, motherhood, single mom, single mother by choice, single motherhood, single mothers, single parent, single women, SMC, solo mother, solo parenting | Leave a comment