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Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!®

Maureen and Mom AMI

Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded in 1981 by Jane Mattes, LCSW. Since then, over 30,000 thinkers, tryers, and mothers have enjoyed the benefits of membership.

Who is a Single Mother by Choice (SMC)? An SMC is someone who decides to become a mother, knowing that they will be the sole parent of their child – at least at the outset. Our organization’s primary purpose is to provide strong peer support and information to those who are considering, or have chosen this path.

Our members benefit from SMC peer support all over the US, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond, both through local chapters and/or through our active 24/7 online private Discussion Forum and Newsletters. We are delighted to share our experiences, wisdom, and resources about single motherhood by choice, including Forum topics like Thinking, Planning and Preparing to Become an SMC, Donor Insemination, Adoption, Parenting (from infants to kids in college, and beyond!), and cohort threads for those trying to conceive in the same cycle, or who are pregnant and share a due date.

Single Mothers by Choice is an inclusive organization and all female-identifying, gender non-conforming, or gender non-binary people are welcome.

Learn how you can join and benefit from our community today!


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SMC Podcast



SMC SINGLE MOTHERS BY CHOICE is a registered trademark of Single Mothers by Choice Inc.

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Modern Family: Connecting with Donor Siblings

When I started my journey to become a Single Mother by Choice (SMC), using donor sperm from a bank, I thought I had thought through all possible scenarios. It was just two years ago that I realized I had not thought it all through. I had never thought about connections with donor siblings or donor families.

I had decided that I would tell my child about their conception from the start – no secrets. I imagined that one day, he or she might ask questions about the donor and I would answer. I chose an Open ID donor for this very reason. I figured, why not leave the door open if you can? Why shut it from the start. So, I figured we’d deal with the possibility of connecting with the donor if and when my child was ready or wanting.

I never factored in that I might find myself … Continue reading

My Life: Pre vs. PostKids

Besides making the little people running around my house safe from monsters nightly, there have been some definite changes in my life since I became a Mom.  So many aspects of my life today would be unrecognizable to my former self.  Here are some big ones:

My workouts. Before kids, I went to the gym at least four, usually five or six times a week.  I had memberships in three different gyms, for the different convenient locations and variety.  I kept an “emergency” gym bag ready to go in my trunk in case I had an unexpected chunk of time and could fit in an extra workout.  I had such “emergencies” frequently.

Post kids, I try to take a walk if I get a chance at lunch at work.  I have a  gym membership and I went last month.  Once.  Or was it the month before?  There is a new … Continue reading

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