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Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!®

Maureen and Mom AMISingle Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded in 1981 by Jane Mattes, LCSW. Since then, over 30,000 thinkers, tryers, and mothers have enjoyed the benefits of membership.

Who is a Single Mother by Choice (SMC)? An SMC is a single woman who decides to become a mother, knowing that she will be the sole parent of her child – at least at the outset. Our organization’s primary purpose is to provide strong peer support and information to women who are considering, or have chosen, single motherhood.

Our members benefit from SMC peer support all over the US, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond, both through local chapters and/or through our active 24/7 online private discussion Forum and Newsletter. We are delighted to share our experiences, wisdom, and resources about single motherhood by choice, including topics like  Thinking, Planning and Preparing to Become an SMC, Donor Insemination, Adoption, Parenting (from infants to kids in college, and beyond!), and much, much more.

Learn how you can join and benefit from our community today!


Listen to a Podcast About Single Mothers by Choice

Episode 27: Becoming a Single Parent by Choice

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The Daddy Questions

Sometimes I hear members of Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) talking about the “dreaded Daddy questions” but I don’t think it needs to be a “dreaded question”. In fact, I set things up so it wasn’t a question at all. By that I mean that from the time he was born, I told my son “our story” about how there was a mama who was sad because she didn’t have a baby, and she didn’t have a husband to be a daddy. So a nice man called the donor gave the special seeds to a doctor who put them into the mama to make a baby with her eggs, who of course turned out to be my son! (That was my version of it, I never bought any of the books on this topic). When he was around 3, he could tell the story back to me and it was … Continue reading

Honesty Over Ease: Why I Won’t Avoid the Daddy Question

As a single mother by choice I expected the “Who’s the daddy?” question to come up. I’ve actually been surprised at the restraint people have shown when I’ve told them I’m expecting while not wearing a ring and still going by Miss. Sure, in some ways it’s none of people’s business, but as someone who is at times overly inquisitive herself, I understand it’s also natural to wonder.

Since I’ve been so open throughout my journey to single motherhood, I didn’t mind the not-so-subtle fishing of some acquaintances. (Saying, “Oh, you and your husband must be so happy!” or “Are you Miss or Mrs.?” when these topics have never previously come up, is not exactly subtle, but I appreciate the attempt at politeness.) And while some single mothers by choice are sensitive to it, I’d never be upset or angry with a stranger for assuming there’s a daddy in the … Continue reading

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