Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!®

Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded in 1981 by Jane Mattes, LCSW. Since then, over 30,000 thinkers, tryers, and mothers have enjoyed the benefits of membership.

Who is a Single Mother by Choice (SMC)? An SMC is someone who decides to become a mother, knowing that they will be the sole parent of their child – at least at the outset. Our organization’s primary purpose is to provide strong peer support and information to those who are considering, or have chosen this path.

Our members benefit from SMC peer support all over the US, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond, both through local chapters and/or through our active 24/7 online private Discussion Forum and Newsletters. We are delighted to share our experiences, wisdom, and resources about single motherhood by choice, including Forum topics like Thinking, Planning and Preparing to Become an SMC, Donor Insemination, Adoption, Parenting (from infants to kids in college, and beyond!), and cohort threads for those trying to conceive in the same cycle, or who are pregnant and share a due date.

Single Mothers by Choice is an inclusive organization and all female-identifying, gender non-conforming, or gender non-binary people are welcome.

Learn how you can join and benefit from our community today!

Listen to a Podcast About Single Mothers by Choice

SMC Podcast

SMC SINGLE MOTHERS BY CHOICE is a registered trademark of Single Mothers by Choice Inc.

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  • Register Now — SMC’s 40th Anniversary Celebration!

    Celebration ImageSingle Mothers by Choice (SMC) is turning 40!

    We’re excited to mark the occasion with a two-day virtual celebration event which will take place on Zoom on October 16th and 17th. Connect with our  members at every stage of the SMC journey — thinkers, tryers, and mothers — as well as SMC founder, Jane Mattes. We’re putting together an exciting line-up of speakers and panels. Our goal is to provide support, information and connections to those who are considering, or have chosen, the SMC path. Register below, and plan to join us!

    Some of Our Panels:

    • Adult SMC Children: What was it like growing up?
    • Dating and Relationships: How do we manage them?
    • A Day in the Life of an SMC: What’s it really like?
    • Moms of Adult SMC Children: What was it like raising your children?
    • Different Paths to SMC-hood: How do we get there?


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  • How Long Should You Wait For “Mr. or Ms. Right”?

    Having a partner is no longer a pre-requisite for motherhood. Single women have many options to start families on their own, ranging from anonymous sperm donors to adoption. With the growing accessibility of such options, many women find that the hardest part of taking the leap is an emotional step — to stop holding out for “Mr. or Ms. Right” to come around the corner.

    Grieving the dream of partnered bliss is an important process. It might take longer than expected. Many women find that this grieving process is not entirely complete before they decide to pursue single motherhood. Others eventually decide not to pursue single motherhood after all. The important thing is that they processed their feelings and came to terms with their priorities in life. They realized which trade offs they were, or were not, willing to make.

    A woman might decide that above all else she wants

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