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Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!®

Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded in 1981 by Jane Mattes, LCSW. Since then, over 30,000 thinkers, tryers, and mothers have enjoyed the benefits of membership.

Who is a Single Mother by Choice (SMC)? An SMC is someone who decides to become a mother, knowing that they will be the sole parent of their child – at least at the outset. Our organization’s primary purpose is to provide strong peer support and information to those who are considering, or have chosen this path.

Our members benefit from SMC peer support all over the US, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond, both through local chapters and/or through our active 24/7 online private Discussion Forum and Newsletters. We are delighted to share our experiences, wisdom, and resources about single motherhood by choice, including Forum topics like Thinking, Planning and Preparing to Become an SMC, Donor Insemination, Adoption, Parenting (from infants to kids in college, and beyond!), and cohort threads for those trying to conceive in the same cycle, or who are pregnant and share a due date.

Single Mothers by Choice is an inclusive organization and all female-identifying, gender non-conforming, or gender non-binary people are welcome.

Learn how you can join and benefit from our community today!

Listen to a Podcast About Single Mothers by Choice

SMC Podcast

SMC SINGLE MOTHERS BY CHOICE is a registered trademark of Single Mothers by Choice Inc.

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  • Do I or Don’t I???

    With the help of the members of SMC, I have just recently made my decision not to become an SMC. I should also preface this by saying that I came to this quandary late. I am 46.

    Letting go of the dream of having a traditional family, i.e. a husband and kids, is a very big deal for most women. That’s probably one of the first steps in deciding to become an SMC. And that’s a rough one. I always had this assumption that it would happen, so it was hard to face the fact that it might not just “happen.” What if it doesn’t? How could it not? How long do I wait?

    All kinds of people meet their mates and start families. My confidence about myself as an attractive, smart and lovable woman is a bit tangled up in that dream. I never wanted to visit the possibility … Continue reading

  • Who You Talking To?

    Every time someone calls me “Mom” I look behind me, like, “are you speaking to me?”

    I mean, I diaper, feed and cuddle my girl all day long, but I still can’t wrap my head around being a mom officially. I saw a documentary called “First Comes Love” about a single woman having a kid, and I remember she had been told that the “mom part” of her would emerge slowly. I totally get that.

    I’m keeping my daughter (even saying that is so weird!) off of social media for now, but she’s super, super cute. Like, I walk down the street with her and people stop me to tell me she is beautiful. I say thank you, even though I can’t take credit for her creation.

    I feel like I should call her Ms. Tittsina on here for privacy’s sake.

    Tonight I have a night sitter– she … Continue reading

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40th Anniversary Celebration Video Now Available!

Missed our 40th Anniversary Celebration? SMC had over 850 people registered to attend our 40th Anniversary Celebration. These videos cover both days of the event, over 8 hours of content.