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Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!®

Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded in 1981 by Jane Mattes, LCSW. Since then, over 30,000 thinkers, tryers, and mothers have enjoyed the benefits of membership.

Who is a Single Mother by Choice (SMC)? An SMC is someone who decides to become a mother, knowing that they will be the sole parent of their child – at least at the outset. Our organization’s primary purpose is to provide strong peer support and information to those who are considering, or have chosen this path.

Our members benefit from SMC peer support all over the US, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond, both through local chapters and/or through our active 24/7 online private Discussion Forum and Newsletters. We are delighted to share our experiences, wisdom, and resources about single motherhood by choice, including Forum topics like Thinking, Planning and Preparing to Become an SMC, Donor Insemination, Adoption, Parenting (from infants to kids in college, and beyond!), and cohort threads for those trying to conceive in the same cycle, or who are pregnant and share a due date.

Single Mothers by Choice is an inclusive organization and all female-identifying, gender non-conforming, or gender non-binary people are welcome.

Learn how you can join and benefit from our community today!


Listen to a Podcast About Single Mothers by Choice

SMC Podcast




SMC SINGLE MOTHERS BY CHOICE is a registered trademark of Single Mothers by Choice Inc.

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When We’re All Dead…….

“What sports did Grandpa Jim like?” my son asks. We are standing in the kitchen and he is pulling the scissors out from the drawer, cutting the plastic wrap off a frozen raspberry fruit bar.

“He liked all sports,” I say. Sam hands me the wrapper and I place it in the can under the sink. “But I think baseball was his favorite. Baseball and basketball and football.”

We have just snuck inside during Eva’s nap after spending an hour outside in the sticky humidity tossing basketballs into the net from different distances, the point values for each shot marked on the driveway with chalk. Sam was upset when he couldn’t make the shots as easily as he had yesterday, and his voice was getting whinier and higher until finally (thank God!) he made a 5-point shot and declared himself the winner.

Later in the evening we lay in bed … Continue reading

What’s in a Donor?

You never fully understand what goes into choosing a donor until you do it yourself! I had this glamorous idea in my mind that I would have a donor party. Assemble the people closest to me, have some wine, enjoy each others company, and look through donor profiles together. After I grieved the donor party idea, I realized I had to get to work to make decisions that would best fit my needs to conceive with. Funny thing is, I started the donor search out with this long list of criteria, almost like what I would expect to find in a partner. Some of it unrealistic honestly and unfortunately found that yielded no results. So I evaluated what was most important to me….

I started with tall, dark, and handsome! Initially I knew I wanted an African American donor who was tall (so I could give my child a fighting … Continue reading

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