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Welcome to Single Mothers by Choice!®

Maureen and Mom AMISingle Mothers by Choice (SMC) was founded by Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., a psychotherapist and single mother by choice, in 1981. Since then, over 30,000 thinkers, tryers, and mothers have enjoyed the benefits of membership.

A Single Mother by Choice is a single woman who decides to become a mother knowing, at least at the outset, that she will be the sole parent of her child. Our primary purpose is to provide strong peer support and information to women who are considering, or have chosen, single motherhood.

Our members connect with one another through local chapters all over the US, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond, and/or through our lively 24/7 online private discussion Forum and Newsletter. We are delighted to share our experiences, wisdom, and resources about Donor Insemination, Adoption, all stages of Parenting, and much, much more.

Learn how you can join and connect with our community today!

SMC SINGLE MOTHERS BY CHOICE is a registered trademark of Single Mothers by Choice Inc.

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Boy, oh Boy!

“You’re having a … boy!” I remember the moment I got this shocking news as if it were yesterday. The autumn sun blithely filtered through the patio window, as I sat at the edge of my bed and took the call from the genetic counselor. As soon as she said the words “boy,” my heart sank to the pit of my stomach and I almost fell of the bed. Thump.

That queasy, uneasy feeling stayed with me all during my pregnancy. It’s called gender disappointment and it’s real. At first though, I was really ashamed to admit it. After all, it had taken me ten tries to have this miracle! And it was a miracle indeed – after 2 failed IVFs, I had conceived… on a last unmedicated Hail Mary insemination. My baby was genetically normal and healthy! How dare I feel anything but unadulterated joy?!

Luckily, I was part

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