The Baby Obsession

My daughter Eliza has become obsessed with babies.

Not these babies:

Eliza would rather put a fork in her eye than play with a doll.

But Eliza is quite keen on these kind of babies:

I have spent weeks explaining to Eliza that she is going to be the one and only baby in this household.  I’ve tried the:

Mommy  loves you so much, there is no room for another baby.

Eliza advises that we can make room for a baby, all I have to do is sleep on the couch.

Mommy is too old to have another baby.

Eliza quickly pointed out that she sees women with white hair all the time with babies and since my hair isn’t white yet, I am not too old.

Mommy has an ugly uterus (so ugly that my OB took a lovely photo, suitable for framing, since she had never seen one looking so bad in 30 years of birthing babies).

Eliza asked what a uterus was.  OK so not my best reason so I quickly asked her if she wanted to make origami Pokemon characters to change the subject.  Worked like a charm.

Mommy’s eggs are old.

Eliza pointed out that Costco sells them by the dozens.  She might have a point here because if I was a celebrity with unlimited resources I could buy some fresh,organic eggs and give the ugly uterus another try.

Eliza has even gone so far as to let me know that she knows I don’t need to be married to have a baby so this shouldn’t be a problem.  She firmly believes that getting married is only a good idea so we can have someone around to fix things in the apartment.

So maybe the solution is that I borrow an infant for a few hours on weekends until this phase passes?

Not the sort of ad one can place on Craig’s List though.

Anne Richter


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