Counting My Blessings

Thursday was my birthday.

Normally I wouldn’t do anything for it, but my nanny had asked for a personal day sometime soon to take care of some errands, so we arranged to do that on my birthday.

It was a perfect day.

Calliope and I walked to breakfast at a local cafe. Then we came home and she took a too-short nap while I worked out. But she was in a great mood throughout, despite the short nap.

In the afternoon, while Calliope “rested” in her crib, I worked on a photobook I’m creating which will be the Story of Calliope, all about Calliope’s conception.

Then we played with her friend Eleanor for a little bit at her house — Calliope (who is learning to walk, but isn’t there yet)  pushed Eleanor (who is even further from walking) around on her push “bike” — and then Eleanor and her mother took Calliope and me out to dinner.

What a circus that was! Calliope dropped a plate on the floor, breaking it. The floor under the table was crowded with discarded food and toys from the two babies. Calliope refused to stay in her high chair and loudly insisted on being allowed to crawl around the entire restaurant. Luckily it wasn’t too crowded at that point, but I was worried that the staff might be sending baleful looks my way.  Once the french fries arrived, she happily agreed to stay in her high chair and focused on the entrancing new food. Phew.

We left a nice tip.

The whole experience was slightly hilarious, if also completely exhausting.

But I spent the whole day feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

I have my girl. Who is about as perfect as a one year old can be (apart from throwing food).  I have a beautiful new-to-me apartment, where I no longer have to share my bedroom or even my bathroom! I have a wonderful job that is enjoyable and interesting and rewarding, yet respects my family commitments. Even my body seems to be improving after a long and terrifying period of constant hunger and weight gain. I feel strong and healthy and energetic.

Even the fact that I am single… I’m so happy about it! So grateful I don’t have to expend any energy on another adult. I don’t miss sex or companionship. It would be lovely to have another adult as invested in Calliope as I am but… I can’t even imagine it, so I don’t spend time thinking about it. I have a wonderful community of friends who keep me feeling loved and supported.

I’m everlastingly grateful. What a wonderful birthday and a wonderful life.



4 thoughts on “Counting My Blessings”

  1. I can totally relate! My birthday was last Monday and they used to make me so depressed I would hide in was another year gone by that my life was still in limbo. I have a 2.5 year old daughter, Emma, and my birthdays are so joyous, as is most every day!!! I am no longer waiting for the next stage of my life, but living it and enjoying it every day! SMC life is great and I have to agree that I too really enjoy not being partnered. I can just enjoy my daughter and not worry about all the things that come along with a relationship-how do I look? How do I smell (haha but those with little ones can relate), how am I aging ? It’s liberating and better than I ever imagined it could be! Happy Bday to you.

  2. I can relate to you and share some of the same thoughts. I feel so blessed and grateful. My son, Dylan is 2.9 years old now and I am so happy with our little family and what I call “my G rated life”. The simple things that we do are so enjoyable like playing with Dylan’s toys or going for a walk and seeing the joy in Dylan when he sees a bird and is excited to point it out to me.

    I will say that in the last 9 months, we’ve had many moments that have been truly exhausting with the terrible two stage. But at the end of the day, I feel so grateful. In the moment of Dylan having an unexpected temper tantrum or refusing to get in the car because he wants to jump in a puddle when I am already late for work, I tell myself that we will get through this and this is such a minor event compared to what some people go through on a daily basis. So many families struggle with disabilities, mental issues, health problems and/or financial stress. I try to put everything into prospective when a situation arises.

    I often wonder if I am so different from most people because I really have no interest (or energy) in having a romantic relationship with a man right now. I just want to focus on Dylan right now and am enjoying every minute of it.

    Life is good being Dylan’s mom.

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