A Letter to J’s Teacher

Girl eating lunch at kindergartenNext week J starts “big kid school” and this is the letter I will be giving her new teacher:

Hi Miss C —

I am excited for J to be in your class this year; she’s excited for school to start.

I would like to explain a little bit about our family. We are a mom-and-kid family – I am a single mother by choice. There is no father involved in J’s life, nor has there ever been; there was no divorce, separation or death. Of course, J has an extended family, a Nana and many “aunties” and “uncles” (but no father and no brothers or sisters).

J’s understanding of our family structure is evolving. One of her favorite books is “The Family Book,” which explains that families come in all sizes and configurations.  We also read an age-appropriate story about her unconventional conception.  I bring this to your attention mainly because sometimes J likes to talk to her imaginary friends, which include a sister, a brother and (occasionally) a daddy, which can be confusing for people.  I want to assure you that J doesn’t need to be corrected; her imaginaries are important to her.  However, it is helpful for her teachers to understand when she is pretending.

Please share this letter with anyone you think is relevant.



4 thoughts on “A Letter to J’s Teacher”

  1. Hi Roberta!
    Thank you for sharing this letter. I’ve done something similar since my daughter started K in 2014.

  2. Wow much respect to you for making such a huge decision for your life, and being totally comfortable telling anyone that may wonder exactly how it is . Kudos to you and I’m sure that your children will be so proud when they realize the enormous decision it took to have a wonderful healthy nurturing family for them .

  3. I love this. I am going to use this as a template for my twin girls. I was recently faced with the “Is Dad involved?” question from the daycare that my five month old twins go to around Father’s Day. They were making projects for the dads and they wanted to know if the twins should/ could make one. The question kind of stopped me dead in my tracks and I said “No, but you can make it for my brother.” I love this idea of sending the letter in advance to kind of answer any questions and to make the environment most comfortable for the child/ children. I will definitely be doing this when my children are around J’s age. Awesome post! Thanks so much for this.

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