Why I Am Taking the Leap

iStock_momchild1. I am sick of living my life for myself, i.e. clothes, jewelry, facials, massages etc.

2. I love spending time with my niece and nephew, i.e. playground, zoo, reading books, bathing, feeding etc.

3. I am scared of getting old and being alone

4. I have so much love to give, but no child to give it to

5. I want the mother-child bond; I want to feel needed

6. I hate holidays, get-togethers etc. because I am the only one without a child. I feel weird not having my own family and feel like the perpetual child showing up to family gatherings

7. I feel isolated from the world at age 32 because I have no children; people my age have children. I am finding it harder and harder to connect with people since I am childless. I am already feeling more connected with others because my mind-set has changed since I am on the road to becoming a mother

8. I am envious of mothers

9. I became depressed when thinking that I would not have children

10. When I think of having a child I immediately become happy and excited. Scared to death but happy and excited

11. I am content when I am really busy and have no time to think about the meaning of life

12. Having a child would make my life rich and meaningful

13. I now have time, money, patience and feel that I can provide a good life for a child

14. Volunteer work is not giving me enough satisfaction and I believe having a child would

15. I want to keep my niece and nephew for myself

16. I welcome the change of dynamics in my life and have come to realize that there is nothing that I do in my life that I cannot do with a child

17. I am sick of living in my perfect condo. I want a home with toys, love, chaos and a swing set

18. I am sick of having no responsibilities!!!!

19. I need structure!!!!

20. I don’t need to see another movie or read another adult book. Lately, I am only interested in children’s books but I need a child to read them to.

I am taking the leap because I don’t want to miss out on all these things and because I don’t want to be a bitter woman 10 years from now!

by: IthinkIcanIthinkIcan


20 thoughts on “Why I Am Taking the Leap”

  1. My son will be turning 16 in a couple of weeks, and I can’t imagine a life without him. A part of me wants to tell all the thinkers out there – JUST DO IT! But I have been extremely fortunate, in that I have a very supportive family, grandparents nearby, friends who were delighted for me, and a job that pays a living wage and has flexible hours (I am an RN). Without those things raising my son would have been much more stressful. Don’t underestimate the amount of help you will need – but don’t underestimate the amount of love you will receive! My son has brought joy to so many people, not just me but his extended family, neighbors, teachers – TOTALLY WORTH IT!

  2. Great list 🙂 I am taking the leap as well and even though there is a huge possibility my dream may not come true (due to fibroids), a baby is still worth trying for!

  3. I can relate to many of the reasons. I am in the process of adopting. I tried fertility treatments but was not successful. I am praying the adoption will be soon. . Waiting to be matched. Paperwork background checks and home study are done. I have come a long way in 2 years. 2014.. two IVFs and numerous doctor visits. 2015 paperwork adoption agency meetings…worked on profile.. . .Now I wait to be matched. What a journey. Began the journey with my spouse but now I am sliding into a home run as an smc unless GOd provides a miracle. Either way the final outcome will be miraculous. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you as you wait with a lump in your throat with all of the anticipation and excitement. Much love to all of you.

  4. I had tears in my eyes reading this. I just stumbled upon this website tonight and what you wrote really resonated with me. I’d been dancing with the idea of being a single mom by choice, but never realized that it was even possible (yes, even in this day and age!). I recently realized that more than being a wife someday, I want to be a Mom. This articulates so much what I’m feeling. Thank you. I’m so grateful that I’m not alone in this!

    1. Thank you for your comment on our blog post, “Why I Am Taking the Leap”. That post was taken from a thread on our online Forum, where we have discussions on all aspects of single motherhood by choice, from making the decision to parenting. We would love you to join us, and you can do that on our website, http://www.singlemothersbychoice.org. Just click on the Membership link.

      1. Thank you, SMC! I applied for membership last night. 🙂 I’m looking forward to having it be approved so I can engage on the online Forum.

  5. I am 26 years old going on 27 later this year. I have my sister who gave birth to my nephew about 9 months ago. I was so jealous when he 1st arrived. I was even jealous of her. I felt like that should have been me. I go through the motions of wanting a child then not wanting. When I talk about it, and kind of plan it. It makes me happy and gives me butterflies. But then a part of me has a fear of what if I mess this up. I think I can handle being a single mom. I have been in previous relationships that just have never worked out. I have a friend that I wanna ask to have a baby with cause I think he would be the perfect person. I just dont know if he would want to participate in a co parent situation or just me being a single parent. Which I totally can see myself doing, cause I am very independent. I just dont know who was the right person to talk to. I personally dont know any mothers that choose to be single mothers. I just want an insight. To see if I am making the right decision. An how to go about it? I wanna educate myself on this topic more. Thank You!

    1. If you’d like to join Single Mothers by Choice, we have a special section of our online Forum for “Thinkers”, i.e. people like you who are thinking about becoming an SMC and want to get support, and information, on making this big decision. Our other Thinkers, and the members who are already moms, will be happy to chat with you and answer any questions you may have. We also may have a local chapter near you, depending on where you live. To join us, go to http://www.singlemothersbychoice.org.

  6. Many others would look at you at 32 and say “Your still young, you have time”. I was 31 when I did my IUI, am due in July and am 32. I understand your feelings, and only you know when you are ready. Don’t listen to society!

    1. Jackie-I turned 33 in Nov, 2015. I have dated so much, online etc. I don’t think I have the energy to do it much longer, or anymore for that matter. Back in 2010, I met a women who was going to be a single mom, but choice with a known donor- donor not to participate in the child’s life. So always in the back of my mind I made it an option. As far back as I can remember, all I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom and have a baby. I joined SMC to hopefully find more people in my situation and hear other peoples opinions, esp of women my age. I know Im still young, and I always said Id give myself until I was 35, but Im just not sure I want to cont to wait much longer.
      Another thought I have in my head is, “Am I being selfish to allow myself to have a baby, what I want, and raise a child without a father/or another parent for that matter???”
      I would do a sperm bank, with the option for the child to meet the father, and do IUI. Side note: Ive been a labor and delivery nurse for 9 years.


      1. Lisa and Jackie, I can totally relate to what you wrote. That was me…over 14 + 9 ++ months ago (I have a 14 month old son). I grappled with the selfish question for a long time. In the end I realized it was the exact opposite of being selfish and I went for it. Now with my son I can attest to the fact that there is nothing selfish about being a single mother and giving your everything to a child!! Go for your dreams! I am so happy I did :). The only thing I might have changed is going for it sooner! I waited until I was 39. But then I wouldn’t change anything about my wonderful boy.
        Best wishes,

  7. I am 50 with no children by a combination of choice and circumstance. I am not bitter. I am not envious of mothers. I know 80year old women with no kids who are happy as clam. Creativity = love. I skip holidays. What is wrong with a perfect condo? Other people’s kids piss me off. I love having time to think about the meaning of life. I will never have the time, money, or patience for a child. I have cancer. There are tons of things you can’t do with your life when you have a child. I have too many responsibilities. I prefer no structure. We will all be old and alone one day, kids or not. You do not have to have a child to have meaning in your life.

    Just sayin’.

    1. I have always known i wanted to be a mom, so i decided to be a SMC and i feel the luckiest woman in the world because my baby is coming soon, because for me and i honestly say only me it has been my biggest dream. I have to say i admire woman who are happy with not being a mom. Society sometimes make the mathematical operation happy=mom, and coming from a latin country having a child is almost mandatory, but i have always thought happiness = what you choose in life. So if you have found your own happinness in your life, i honestly i truly salute you!

    2. I am 52 years old with a 15 mo old daughter. I had a very different life before her arrival, so I can relate to your list COMPLETELY. My life is exactly where I always wanted it to be for so long.
      good luck and blessings

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