A couple of days ago, I read a post on the Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) private online members’ Forum that has helped me shift into a more positive and less fearful experience of early pregnancy. Someone posted the question: how do you deal with the anxiety at this stage? There were many helpful responses, and here’s the one that stated exactly what I needed to hear:
“I had two losses before conceiving my daughter. The first was a very early chemical pregnancy, and mostly reassured me that I could get pregnant. The second was very difficult for me. When I started trying again I was afraid to get a positive result because I was afraid it would all end again. Any who, when I finally got that positive result, I had several people who were worried for me, and at that point I decided to let them keep worrying, but I was going to enjoy being pregnant for as long as it lasted, hoping of course it would be 40 weeks. That really freed me up to just dream about my baby, and now my standard advice is just assume that all is going to be fine, and enjoy your pregnancy and baby dreams. You will never get this time back and you don’t want to worry it away. If the worst should come, you can deal with it then, but there is no sense worrying about what most likely won’t happen; just dream the dreams you have for your sweet little baby.”
Assume that all is going to be fine! What a beautiful sentiment! I experienced this as a breath of fresh air! This woman is now a mom of 2 and considering a third. Inspiring.
While my anxiety has (thankfully) been minimal in the past few weeks, it does have the capacity to take me down the path of worst-case scenarios that begin with a right ovary twinge. Now I suddenly feel free to simply note how I’m feeling, keep myself adequately informed on what actually entails an emergency, and otherwise keep calm and carry on. And ENJOY it. Smile when I take my prenatal vitamin and fish oil pill, and again later when I get the fish burp. Marvel at my first-ever mid-afternoon nap in the “Comfort Room” at the office. Revel in the now-handful of friends who are pregnant right along with me (or are on the verge!!). Laugh about the hilariousness of inspecting your boob size/soreness more than once a day. Imagine the tiny little love in there, growing, thriving… It’s the road less traveled: assume the best-case scenario.
So, that is kind of blowing my mind as it extends to life in general and helps me have a happier outlook on pretty much everything.
Yes, you’re right, just because I’m assuming the best doesn’t mean I have to figure it all out tonight, or anytime soon. Especially as my eyes feel like bowling balls in my head. I’m gearing up for my birthday weekend – I’ll be entering the last year of my 30s this Saturday! Then, on Monday, I will go to the ultrasound with my dear sister B to see a bunch of lights on a screen that will hopefully signify my next generation.
by ktkeaveney: thesolomamaproject.wordpress.com
To discuss this and other SMC topics, join SMC and take part in our discussions on our lively online 24/7 Forum and at local chapter meetings.