There are many things I miss about not having the amount of time and energy I used to have. I miss cooking a simple dinner that I would crave at that moment while listening to my favorite playlist and drinking a gin tonic, or a glass of wine or a vodka tonic or any alcoholic drink. No I don’t have a drinking problem; I currently have a booby problem. Yes I still breastfeed him, yes I choose not to drink alcohol while I’m breastfeeding but boy do I miss my occasional cocktail. I also miss a long nap after a good big meal. My naps are now usually the half an hour Marco sleeps without moving or waking up wanting to play. Please don’t get me started on the last time I watched a full movie with no interruptions, or something that was not animated (baby tv is on as we speak), or a couch marathon of a good Netflix series (Netflix? What is Netflix? Does that even still exist?).
The art of improvising; now there is a concept that no longer exists in my life. Going out means planning a meal, clean bottles, a change of clothes, wipes, diapers, stroller, toys, etc., etc., etc. So no, I can’t improvise or travel lightly. Silence, is a privilege I also lost. It’s either making the shhh noise, or singing, or clapping (he loves his new ability of clapping) or making funny noises, or just plain talking (Marco and I have our own language). An elegant and organized living room is something I get to see in magazines; in my house I said goodbye to my living room table and hello to Marco´s toys and play mat.
It’s true I lost a few things in addition to time 10 months ago, but I do feel I gained much more. I learned a bunch of new songs, yes they are mostly kid songs, but still they are new songs. Being serious, opening my front door and being welcomed to the most beautiful smile in the world in the middle of a sea of toys, makes me love my living room. Having this wonderful creature wanting to listen to me all day, makes this mom want to talk and sing with my horrible voice forever. I don’t mind planning thirty minutes before I leave the house, because I sincerely enjoy traveling and walking around the neighbourhood watching my little boy discover all that is new to him. True I don’t watch tv, but having at least an hour to write is enough alone time for me. My life right now exchanged tv time for baby play time, it may not always be as much fun but it is definitely ten times more gratifying. My naps are shorter, sometimes I feel like they are a million times shorter. However cuddling with my wonderful baby boy makes me feel like the luckiest woman on earth. While a good gin tonic is longed for, I have found non-alcoholic beer to be quite tasty. Gaby the chef is now known for the wonderful mixtures of veggies and potatoes, fruits and cereal, rice and chicken; Gerber is no match for me!
So instead of saying that I’ve lost time to do a lot of the things that I liked, I can say I gained time for being a Mom, and with that came a lifetime of happiness filled with a world of love.
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