First Christmas

My little one is now 4 months old and the light of my life. He has been such an easy baby. Except for when he was born, I didn’t hear him cry until he was about 5 weeks old (because he was hungry in his car seat. Easy fix.) He has been a good sleeper from the get go. I have never been sleep deprived. I had terrible insomnia during the TTC process and while pregnant. The second he was born I felt a weight lift off of me. The stress dissolved and I could finally relax, as it was all over. Maybe he picked up on this because he is a chilled out little guy.

I had no idea that infants have a personality. I had always said that I’d be happy to be handed a six month old and go from there.. How wrong I was! This kid is full of character. He smiles easily, he coos and chats up a storm. He’s patient when you change his clothes and his diaper. He’s snugly and gentle. He’s also huge! We are already in 12 month pjs. He’s so long. Thighs for days and cheeks for weeks. A proper little Buddha! 88th percentile for weight and 94th for height. I don’t think we will be in the bucket seat for too long. It already seems pretty snug!

I took him across the country when he was 5 weeks old to meet his cousins and aunties. Flying was a breeze as he was so small he just slept. I just love having a little travel companion. We plan on going to meet a lot of his donor siblings in May which I’m looking forward to. I think they’re such a valuable resource for him and hope that he will be close to at least a couple of them as he gets older. The likelihood of me having another is slim. It took me so much to get him here. I wish I could do it, as I want him to have someone to share childhood memories with and to be here for him when I am not, but I really don’t think that it is to be. Finances and fertility are not on my side! Not that I am sad. I’m beyond happy that I have my son. I love waking up to his face in the morning and look forward to the adventures we will have.

It’s mind boggling to go back a year. I was barely pregnant and equal parts excited and fearful. I felt like my body was wrapped in a fragile bubble and I was so careful with it. I hadn’t even had my first ultrasound. I tried to imagine what the next Christmas would be like but could only talk in maybes and what ifs. I pretty much spent the first half of my pregnancy that way. And now he lies under his activity mat playing contentedly. He squeals intermittently and tries to breastfeed off of the hanging mirror.

What a difference a year makes.


Happy holidays to you all. May your baby dreams come true.


3 thoughts on “First Christmas”

  1. So awesome that your baby came and he has been even more than you ever could have asked for! This post reinforces for me why I’m on my path. Enjoy motherhood and Happy Holidays 🙂

  2. Thank you for such a wonderful post. I am 32 weeks pregnant right now. I am past the stress of miscarrying and don’t worry about the pregnancy as much as I once did but have been in a rough period otherwise. I shed a lot of tears at Christmas and my mom was so supportive but had a worried (motherly) look in her eye. I was able to put some perspective to the situation and I said to her well I know next Christmas will be better. Your post reminded me a bit of that and the added hope that I hold onto. I’m so happy for you and thanks for this feel good post. Have a wonderful 2018 with your son.

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