How I Made the Decision

So this is how I made the decision: I had planned a weekend away with my mother and my goal was to have made a decision – one way or another – by the time we were flying home. We had fun, we enjoyed the vacation and we talked. It was the most wonderful experience of my adult life to share everything I thought and everything I felt with my mother without hesitation and without filtering anything. I’m 35yr old (financially stable, professionally successful, home owner) and although she had initially thought I should wait until I was closer to 40, after really sharing with each other, she is the one who helped me decide to start trying. She is now 100% supportive and excited. And has an opinion about everything!

Last weekend I sat down with the rest of my family (which is no easy feat), my father, my twin brother and my younger brother and sister (twins also) individually and discussed the topic. Everyone knew I had been thinking about this for years, but their initial surprise that I had made the decision quickly turned to joy and happiness about a new baby. It was an unexpectedly amazing and enriching experience to feel the love and support from my family. I chose to talk to everyone separately so no one felt pressured or uncomfortable sharing their own reactions. I’m so glad I did.

The one thing that truly shocked me: once I made the decision, I was no longer anxious or afraid. I didn’t realize how much pressure I’d been feeling just by not knowing what I was going to do. Now, I feel lighter, peaceful and genuinely happy.

Last week, with the help of my mother & sister, I chose the donor from my “final four”. I’ve been back to OB-GYN, had the routine tests, and if all goes as planned, in about two weeks I’ll be a “tryer”!

Thank you again to everyone for their posts on the SMC Forum, and for letting me feel a part of an ever-growing community of single mothers. I wish everyone the best of luck in their decision-making and hope you find the same joy and excitement I’ve found in making my decision.


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“I used to think that becoming an SMC was my plan B, but it was the best decision I ever made. My son is my pride and joy. I can't imagine life without him. I am thankful that I had support along the way through the SMC community. I no longer consider it my plan B.”

– Anonymous