The Choice to Become a Single Mother

Though I have been thinking about this often, I am finally forcing myself to sit down and write about it. I am (pause pause pause) giving up on the idea of (no that isn’t right) choosing to move forward with my life by (here goes, breathe) having a baby on my own. There I said it. Technically, I am choosing an anonymous sperm donor, buying vials of sperm that will then be put up into my uterus by a doctor. No sex. No relationship. No man. No wedding. No. Just me.

This coming to terms with the fact that I am doing all of this solo is making me cry presently, sitting at a table with a giant latte on a rainy, winter Sunday in LA. Wonder if they have Baileys here. Kidding. Kindof.

Back to the point. It is devastatingly difficult for me to admit to myself that this is really it. This is how I am going to have a family, or at least start one. Who knows what the future holds. But even if I met the man of my daydreams tomorrow, I don’t want to wait another two years. Actually I shouldn’t wait. Physically- I have amazing ovaries, younger than my age looking reproductive girl parts, woowoo. But my FSH, follicle stimulating hormone, apparently is at the older end of the range it should be for my age, so the longer I wait, the less chance of me getting pregnant as naturally as possible. If it is meant to be, I’ll get   pregnant on the first try. That’s what I am hoping for. That part isn’t up to me.

What it all comes down to is that the thought of having a healthy, happy, gorgeous little baby lights a such big fire in my heart and I’m all in. I was born to be a mother and I hope with everything I have, that I will be.

From Nesting In LA

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3 thoughts on “The Choice to Become a Single Mother”

  1. As an SMC who used a cryobank donor, I would encourage you to look carefully at willing to be known (WTBK) donors so that your future child has the opportunity to meet their donor when the child turns 18 if they want it. WTBK donors also tend to have more extensive profiles with medical histories, which can be helpful both for you and the child as they mature. It is a difficult decision and not a path that I envisioned taking either, but speaking as the mom of a ten year old, I couldn’t be happier that I made it! PS A woman in your age range and with minimal health concerns has a 15 to 20% chance of conceiving per cycle using IUI. It’s important to know the numbers for planning purposes as you go through the process. I almost gave up after my fourth failed attempt. If I hadn’t tried a fifth, which statistically brought me to near 100% cumulatively, I wouldn’t be blessed with my son. I wish my doctors had emphasized those numbers a little more during the process so I could have planned accordingly. It all worked out in the end, though. Wishing you the best on this incredible journey!

  2. OMG I feel you. I am embarking on this journey myself, after much soul-seeking. It’s a hard choice go this way alone but I truly believe it will be worth it.

  3. Loved the way you have put out your mixed feelings about becoming a single mother…Tell you what you would thank yourself for this lovely yet life altering decision years from now…All the very best to you as you embark upon this journey and wishing upon you all the amazing joys of motherhood!!

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