How I Chose Single Motherhood: My Journey

With my 38th birthday quickly approaching, I was making the biggest decision of my life. Was my desire to be a mother so strong that I no longer want to wait for Mr. Right?

Once COVID hit, I noticed a change in the carefree single life I had lived in the city for so long. Pre-COVID, I had a group of friends who were also in their 30’s without kids or partners that I would spend my weekends going out with. We would gather for weekly brunches and share mimosas and dating stories that would make us either cringe or hopeful that love was still out there.

Pandemic life quickly changed that though, and I was 37 at the end of summer when I was still single and my friends had all moved on. Whether they moved in with their quarantine boyfriends, got married, or relocated to the suburbs, I was single without the crutch of other single friends and had to take a hard look at my life and where it was going.

Having a family has been my dream since I was a little girl. Growing up, this is never where I thought I would find myself. Time is precious, and I’ve always gone after what I wanted. While you can’t control when you meet and fall in love with someone, you can control your journey to motherhood.

By my mid-thirties, I was no longer dating for fun, I was dating for a baby daddy. I found myself thinking, “Can I put up with this guy if I can be a mom?” I even put myself through two relationships where I knew in my gut they weren’t the match for me. I was starting to settle for how I was being treated and made to feel. I finally realized I should never sacrifice my self-worth in order to fulfill my dreams of motherhood. So here I am today, in the midst of my first IVF cycle to become a choice mother.

More to come soon.

Nicole from Once Upon a Bebe

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“I used to think that becoming an SMC was my plan B, but it was the best decision I ever made. My son is my pride and joy. I can't imagine life without him. I am thankful that I had support along the way through the SMC community. I no longer consider it my plan B.”

– Anonymous