It’s the Village for Me

mature pregnant woman on phoneI have to say when I started this journey, I expected there would be times that I would feel lonely or miss not having a partner. And there have definitely been those moments where I felt that.

An Africans proverb that I love is “its takes a village to raise a child.” It shows that when communities are at its best, its a village. A close knit unit that helps, supports, gives feedback, provides structure, brings guidance, and love to all. The African American community has lived off this for so many years. And honestly I grew up this way as well. I have to say that, my village is awesome and has been essential throughout this journey!!!

Let me start from the beginning…. Earlier this week, I found myself in so much pain dealing with what the doctors have determined is sciatica (really sharp pain going from my lower back, down my butt and into my leg). It seems that either baby girl is constantly sitting on that nerve or has irritated it so much its pinched. And when I say pain, I mean pain. I’m talking sliding up/down the wall to get up/downstairs, crawling across the floor to get to the shower, and literally tears rolling down my face with every movement. It got so bad I couldn’t get out of bed Tuesday morning. My doctor had already referred me to Physical Therapy at my last appointment. So their suggestion was take Tylenol, use heating pad, icy hot, restrict activities and be on bed rest until the psychical therapy appointment. Imagine my frustration because that meant I couldn’t go to work and had to figure out how to take care of myself for the next 3 days.

Now enter where my village stepped up. Family and friends calling to check on me to see if I needed anything, offering to go to the store to pick up essentials, and even sending me money to pay for my door dash meal (because I mean who can stand on their feet to cook anything). I also tapped into my online village of other SMC’s who gave great guidance on stretches to try, tricks that helped them with the same issue, and even just offering their love and support. The major part of my village that I am truly thankful for is my mother. Who made the sacrifice to stay with me for a couple days to help around the house and make sure I got fed. I can’t thank her enough because being able to sit brought some relief, even if it was short lived. My village is honestly, one of the main reasons that I knew I wouldn’t be completely alone in this process even if it sometimes felt that way.

From Making Mommy Moves


2 thoughts on “It’s the Village for Me”

  1. I feel encouraged when I read your story. I froze my eggs when I was 39. I’m now 44 and finally ready to move forward with the process if all works out. I have zero support. Talked to my friends about this and many feel that I am making the wrong decision. Citing that going into single parenthood without a spouse is selfish. I feel opposite. All of them are single parents, so naturally I thought I’d have their support. I also live 500+ miles away from my family. Good to see that your mother is helping you. I’m looking for a similar group of women on the east coast. This is not something that is understood by people and it’s even harder explaining it to members of my African American community. I work in science and I’ve always been a believer in technology. I always feel like I’m on the defense when it comes to this. I just want to move into the happiness phase of it.

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