Category Archives: adoption

The 10 Steps to Becoming a Single Mom by Choice

Sperm and eggThinking about having a baby on your own is only the beginning. Once you actually put your plan in action, expect a lengthy process. From my first consultation with my Reproductive Endocrinologist to completing my first round of IVF, it was about five months. Here are the 10 steps I went through, including, of course, joining Single Mothers by Choice .

1. Find a good Reproductive Endocrinologist

Fortunately, I already had one from egg freezing that I liked and trusted.

2. Schedule a consultation

This can be a long wait if you are not already a patient. So if you want to get more information, schedule this as soon as you can. Then make your list of questions, start thinking about a realistic timeline for yourself, and do your research ahead of time so you are familiar with fertility language.

3. Initial consultation

Your brain will be filled with terms

Continue reading

How I Chose Single Motherhood: My Journey

Pregnancy test kitWith my 38th birthday quickly approaching, I was making the biggest decision of my life. Was my desire to be a mother so strong that I no longer want to wait for Mr. Right?

Once COVID hit, I noticed a change in the carefree single life I had lived in the city for so long. Pre-COVID, I had a group of friends who were also in their 30’s without kids or partners that I would spend my weekends going out with. We would gather for weekly brunches and share mimosas and dating stories that would make us either cringe or hopeful that love was still out there.

Pandemic life quickly changed that though, and I was 37 at the end of summer when I was still single and my friends had all moved on. Whether they moved in with their quarantine boyfriends, got married, or relocated to the suburbs, I … Continue reading

Happy Holidays and All Good WIshes for the New Year!

 

Happy New Year!

The SMC blog is on vacation, and will return next week. Thanks to all of our  SMC members who contributed their posts to this blog, and to our readers for your interest and comments. We’ll see you next week!

 … Continue reading

First Christmas

My little one is now 4 months old and the light of my life. He has been such an easy baby. Except for when he was born, I didn’t hear him cry until he was about 5 weeks old (because he was hungry in his car seat. Easy fix.) He has been a good sleeper from the get go. I have never been sleep deprived. I had terrible insomnia during the TTC process and while pregnant. The second he was born I felt a weight lift off of me. The stress dissolved and I could finally relax, as it was all over. Maybe he picked up on this because he is a chilled out little guy.

I had no idea that infants have a personality. I had always said that I’d be happy to be handed a six month old and go from there.. How wrong I was! This kid … Continue reading

First Year as an SMC: My Expectations and Realities

mommy n babyI can’t believe Claudette is 10 months and I’m planning her first birthday. Been working on her baby book and I’m already struggling to remember some stuff about the first few months! Seems so long ago in some ways…but also just like yesterday. As my first year of motherhood comes to a close, I’ve been thinking about what it’s been like – what turned out like I expected and what was different. Wondering how it’s been for other moms who are now coming to the end of their first year.

1. I did not expect to have sleep deprivation for this long – that she still would not be sleeping through the night at 10 mos. No one ever says this. All I ever heard was how most babies sleep through the night at 3-4 mos. Liars! LOL The sleep deprivation has been brutal.

2. Did not expect the physical … Continue reading

Grateful For The Strangest Things

This is the season to think about all we are grateful for.  Of course, I am grateful for the kids, having a roof over our heads, our good health, having a career, our pets—all the basics.  *Yawn*

But there are some things I am grateful for that fall outside of the usual realm of gratitude lists.  I would like to share those here:

Most days I can still run faster than my four year old.  That is good because occasionally he still decides to explore “over there” and goes for it at top speed, ears “off”.

I am strangely proud that my son is smart enough to be manipulative.  Talking in his version of his sister’s high pitched voice, telling me that she wants ice cream…and, well, okay, he would take a little, too.

I am continually impressed with the heights my daughter ascends to and that she is strong

Continue reading

Painting

iStock_000020267151LargeI painted my guest room today. It made me think of all the rooms I have painted in the last 11 years.

The living room of the first home I purchased. I was so excited to own my own home after years of apartment living. I had my first real job after graduate school, and felt single and empowered while picking out paint colors at Home Depot. Of course, I did still hope that Mr. Right would show up sometime soon. He didn’t.

The child’s room for the home study to become a foster parent. I will always remember the name of the light blue color swatch, as it foreshadowed the heartbreak a year later when the judge sent her back to her biological mother. It was called “Salty Tears.” After she left I didn’t open the door to her room for six months. Eventually I repainted it a dark … Continue reading

I Don’t Know How You Do It

Children Welcoming Tired Mother Returning From WorkA phrase that my fellow Single Mothers by Choice (SMCs) and I are quite familiar with is, “I don’t know how you do it.”

Early in my parenting journey, I used to get extremely irritated by this phrase, and spent some time navel-gazing, trying to figure out why it bothered me so much.  I never really came up with a satisfactory explanation.  Was it because I was insecure in my abilities and that insecurity was exacerbated by having someone else point out how difficult single parenting is?  Was it because people who say they don’t know how I do “it” don’t really understand what “it” is, so the statement is meaningless — because it merely exposes a lack of critical thinking on their part?  Was it because I was uncomfortable being made out to be some kind of superwoman?  Was it because making a big deal of my situation seemed … Continue reading

Life Lessons from Klickitat Street

I took Pink and Purple to see Ramona and Beezus at our local discount theater over the weekend. I didn’t expect to spend most of the movie in tears.

In the interest of full disclosure, I tend to cry at most kids’ movies. I don’t know why. I’m a notorious non-weeper in my personal life. Oh, I feel pain and sorrow, no doubt about it. It’s just that I internalize the negative emotions until they settle in the pit of my stomach like a pile of rusty razor blades, or clench them in my jaws like tetanus. But there’s something about movies that makes it ok for me to release all of that. I don’t know whether that’s particularly true of kids’ movies, or if it’s just that kids’ movies are all I seem to see anymore.

Ramona and Beezus was a little bit different, though. Setting aside the fact Continue reading

X

Forgot Password?

Join Us