Category Archives: Mother’s Day

Motherhood On My Own Terms

Beautiful mature woman smiling.As Mother’s Day comes and goes once again,  I’m left with a strange mixture of longing and apprehension.  Since finding out about Single Mothers by Choice (SMC), the supposition I could be a mother, albeit on my own, is a new development I’ve let take root. Stronger than ever, it’s now an eventuality I’ve accepted is going to happen.  A radical departure from the trajectory I thought I wanted to follow, from the figment of my life I held in my mind’s eye. After  the warm balmy vision of having children fades, however,  I’m reminded of the reality of my situation — my non-existent relationship with my own mother, and how it complicates the matter. 

I wasn’t surprised that when I started my journey toward SMC-hood, I found myself with the familiar affliction of ignoring the influence of my own mother. I’ve endeavoured over a lifetime to not end up … Continue reading

Mother’s Day – My Son Is Grown

 For a good part of my adult life, I wanted to be a mother, but as I got older, I worried that it might not happen for me. I hadn’t met the right man to marry, so how could I become a mom? But then, one day, I realized that even though I hadn’t found my life partner, I could be a single mother by choice. There was even an organization that provided support and information to women like me: Single Mothers by Choice (SMC), for women who were mature, ready for motherhood, but single.  It WAS possible. Months later, I had made my dream a reality.  I was a mother.

Motherhood was the joyous center of my life for many years. I had enjoyed my career and had a pretty satisfying life, both before becoming a mom and throughout my mothering years. But there was something about being a … Continue reading

Mother’s Day – My Son Is Grown

For a good part of my adult life, I wanted to be a mother, but as I got older, I worried that it might not happen for me. I hadn’t met the right man to marry, so how could I become a mom? But then, one day, I realized that even though I hadn’t found my life partner, I could be a single mother by choice. There was even an organization that provided support and information to women like me: Single Mothers by Choice (SMC), for women who were mature, ready for motherhood, but single.  It WAS possible. Months later, I had made my dream a reality.  I was a mother.

Motherhood was the joyous center of my life for many years. I had enjoyed my career and had a pretty satisfying life, both before becoming a mom and throughout my mothering years. But there was something about being a … Continue reading

Our Members Speak – How You Can Help

Four women chatting over drinks.We asked our Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) members on our private online discussion Forum how their friends and family can best help and support them. Below is a sampling of  some the answers:

During the trying to conceive phase (TTC), be willing to listen. To the minutia, to the details, to the emotions, to the pendulum of certainty/uncertainty, to the fears, to the arrogance. When I was TTC’ing, I didn’t have a good community of SMC friends yet, and my “regular” friends didn’t really want to hear all about it. They were supportive, but weren’t that interested. Trying to conceive is a very self-centered time, and I would have loved to have a very patient, kind, attentive ear. Because we don’t have a partner who is as invested in this road as we are, it helps to have a good friend. That said, be willing to be shut out … Continue reading