Category Archives: trying to conceive

Register Here! SMC’s 40th Anniversary Celebration

Celebration ImageSingle Mothers by Choice (SMC) is turning 40!

We’re excited to mark the occasion with a two-day virtual celebration event which will take place on Zoom on October 16th and 17th. Connect with our founder, Jane Mattes, and members at every stage of the SMC journey — thinkers, tryers, and mothers.

We’re putting together an exciting line-up of speakers and panels to provide support, information and connections to those who are considering, or have chosen, the SMC path. Please save the dates and plan to join us! More details to come. Register below:

Oct. 16 & 17, Saturday 1-6pm, Sunday 12-5pm.Continue reading

A Fine Whine

Ugh, so, this is just unbearable. This waiting is terrible. How do any of us go through it?

I’ve been officially a waiting-to-adopt family for nine (or is it ten?) months. And before that, I did two-and-a-half years of infertility treatments. I woke up the other day and just thought to myself, “I just want to be a mom. So badly.”

I started this journey nearly four years ago. And I am still single and childless. I know, it sounds like I am being a total downer., I AM a total downer right now. Sorry, guys, really. But I just feel like it is NEVER going to happen for me.  My friend was waiting to adopt a dog and she is going to get it this weekend… so even that is happening. When is it going to be my day? I know I’m whining. Again, I am so sorry.

There … Continue reading

The Anvil

I’m putting this out there: why not consider that me becoming a mom IS going to happen, rather than always thinking it ISN’T going to happen?

They say that if you think positively, this attracts positivity. I’ve always felt this is nonsense.  I have always believed that if I think positively, then that is exactly the way for something bad to happen. You know how Wile E. Coyote is always running around trying to do things, and the Road Runner always seems to drop an anvil on his head? That’s how I view myself in the world– that an anvil is always about to drop and crush me.

Now that I say it out loud, it seems kind of sad.

Also, let’s analyze this critically. Wile E. Coyote always has dastardly intentions: to kill the Road Runner. So really, it makes sense in the Looney Tunes world that his evil … Continue reading

The Day I Realized I Liked Kids

I know lots of women who always knew they wanted kids. I was never one of them.

We already have enough people in the world, I always thought, so why do I have to go through the bother of having more?  Plus, kids seemed like a total pain. They shit in their pants and whine and generally get in the way of you having a good time.

I wasn’t particularly excited when I learned my brother and his wife were pregnant, and when my baby niece came I didn’t care much. She reminded me of all the other babies I had ever seen. I remember my brother bringing this little bundle of boring humanity into the bathroom early in the morning, saying “look! Auntie is brushing her teeth!” It was too early for baby talk, and I barked at him to leave me alone.

I did have to admit she … Continue reading

Happy Holidays and All Good WIshes for the New Year!

 

Happy New Year!

The SMC blog is on vacation, and will return next week. Thanks to all of our  SMC members who contributed their posts to this blog, and to our readers for your interest and comments. We’ll see you next week!

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Our Second “Family Day”

My son’s 2nd adoption anniversary is this month.  It’s so weird that he has only been my “legal” son for 2 years.  It’s almost easy to forget how uncertain things were while I was fostering him and how I lived in fear that something would happen and CPS would take him from me.  Now, he’s almost 4 and he has such a personality!  He’s also starting to understand “adoption” a little more.

I know there’s so much controversy about celebrating Adoption Days. I don’t really look at it as “celebrating,”  I look at it more like “remembering”… talking about how we became a family and reflecting on it.  As my son gets older he will have more say in how and what we do to “commemorate” our adoption.

I actually don’t call it “adoption day” or “gotcha day.”  I don’t really like those phrases.  I refer to it as our … Continue reading

Have a Great Memorial Day Weekend!

 Enjoy your holiday weekend!

The SMC Blog will return next weekend.

 

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