Category Archives: women’s movement

Top Tips for Coping as an SMC

At this time of year, Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) usually sees a pop in new members joining the organization, perhaps due to New Year’s resolutions, or just because it’s the start of a new year. And the biggest question for new maybe-SMCs (who we call “Thinkers”) is often, “How can I do this?” or “Can I do this?”

There’s no question that being an SMC is challenging, as well as incredibly wonderful. So I’ve compiled some good tips from our members to help answer those questions. For more good advice, join SMC and discuss your questions with our members, either online or in person, who are in the same place and/or have been there.

When my budget would allow, I hired a babysitter for 2 hours every Wednesday from 4-6 pm.  It really made a difference for me, emotionally.

For me, having a somewhat satisfying job is important to … Continue reading

Happy Holidays from SMC

Happy Holidays from SMC!

Thanks to your support and participation, this has been an amazing year for SMC.  

 I hope that the coming year brings you all of the good things you’re wishing for – – and even more.  

Best Regards,

Jane Mattes,  Founder & Director, SMC

If you’re a single woman who is thinking about single motherhood or trying to adopt or conceive, or already a mom. and you’d like to join SMC, we’d love to have you!

Our blog will return next week.… Continue reading

What We Are Thankful For

 Some of our members recently posted about what they are thankful for as we approached the Thanksgiving holiday here in the US. These are some of their representative thoughts, and here’s hoping that everyone had a good Thanksgiving.

My great job and the staff I work with
My wonderful sisters and family
My friends
Single Mothers by Choice (SMC)
The donor sibling registry, which connected Shane and I to his half siblings and their families
Our freedom
The natural beauty around me and the glorious pair of eagles I see every day on my way to work
My son’s donor, who gave me the greatest gift in life
And, trumping everything is my precious son. There is no greater joy in life to me than this wonderful, funny, and compassionate child. I am most thankful for being his mother.

Jennifer A.

I’m thankful for my family, who not only didn’t Continue reading

Who Knew What Would Happen?

As a proud Single Mother by Choice (SMC) of amazing seven-year-old twin girls it’s sometimes hard for me to remember the feelings of fear and failure I had when I embarked on this journey. In fact, like most SMCs I meet, I am so happy with my kids, so clear that single parenting (though hard) comes with distinct benefits, that I sometimes wonder if the world has changed to the point where the feelings I had have become anachronistic. But I made a documentary on the topic, and women thinking about becoming SMCs sometimes contact me to ask questions or just to talk and when they do I see my embarrassment and terror all over again.

Obviously women calling for support are a select group. I know women who say they didn’t sweat the decision. But what I see when I get these calls are smart, capable, relatively financially stable … Continue reading

Welcome to Our Blog!

I am pleased to announce our blog for the Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) organization. I started SMC in 1981, soon after I gave birth to my son, Eric. I wanted support from other women like me (37, single, educated) and although this was before the Internet, by the miracle of networking and word of mouth, several of us found one another and began meeting in my NYC living room.

We were all in our 30’s, and were in varying stages of the process (thinking, trying to conceive, pregnant, adopting, new single mothers by choice). We realized quickly that although we were from differing backgrounds and points of view, we had an important bond — we wanted to share our experiences as new single moms who were parenting alone, and also wanted to provide support and information to women who are thinking about or working on becoming single mothers by Continue reading