Table of Contents
MEETING A BIRTHMOTHER
What to do when being introduced to the possible mother of your child
by Cathy Bryant
One of the most daunting steps in the domestic adoption process is meeting a birthmother, especially the first time you do it. It’s hard to balance the desire to make a good impression with the extremely delicate nature of the situation. As prospective adoptive parents, we are so ready, so eager even, to become moms. We so want this precious baby to be ours. We also know that this woman may have several choices of prospective parents from which to choose. So it’s hard then to not view the meeting as somewhat of an audition. I adopted one child three years ago and am in the process of adopting again. I have now had several different conversations and meetings with birthmothers. As often is posted to the SMC-Adopt list, I was wracked with nerves the first time I met a birthmother. Here then are some of my thoughts based on my personal experiences.
What are some things to do or say that may help make that first meeting go smoothly? Of course there’s no one answer to this question. There are so many possible scenarios. A birthmother may contact you directly from an ad you’ve placed, or she may use a facilitator or an agency that serves as a go-between for your meeting. She may have already sorted through parent biographies and made a decision to choose you as the parent. In that case the meeting is largely to see you in person and get to know you a bit better. Or the meeting could help her select from a group of potential adoptive parents. No matter what, you feel pressure to be “on.” Sometimes it’s not practical to meet in person, and the first meeting (or all contact) may occur over the phone. In this case it may be harder to get or convey a good sense of each other, so following up with one or more phone calls may be a good idea.
WHAT DOES SHE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ME?
What concerns or questions can you anticipate from the birthmother? I was fortunate to know a young woman who had previously placed her child for adoption. She was kind enough to speak with me before my first meeting took place. I’ve also since had the opportunity to meet another birthmother who placed her child who now works for an agency as a peer counselor to women who are in the process of making an adoption plan. What I learned from them and my own meetings is that there is no typical situation. Every birthmother is unique, and thus her concerns are unique. If you’re using an agency or facilitator, ask that person for advice. She/he may be able to advise you on particular areas to discuss or avoid.
The one thing that probably all birthmothers would agree on is that they want to meet you. Be yourself. Be respectful, recognizing that this is a woman about to have a child, but due to whatever circumstances life has dealt her, she is not so ready, so eager, or so able to parent at this time. The decision to place is, for most, the hardest decision she’ll ever make. She may not be getting support from others (friends, family, birthfather), some may even may accuse her of “giving away” her child. Try to strike a balance between showing your willingness and capacity to love and accept her child versus eagerness you may have. The latter may overwhelm or scare her, especially if she’s still struggling with her own emotions and doubts.
I’ve used an agency for my adoptions, so usually when I get a call hat a birthmother is interested in meeting me, the agency has already met her. They provide me with the core information that I need: her health background, some social history, and why she is placing. So my approach is to let her set the agenda for the meeting. To that end, early in the conversation, ask the birthmother what she would like to get from the meeting. Ask what she wants to know about you, your family, your plans to work, your plans for childcare. I have had a few perspective birthmothers ask about my work hours and childcare plans. Knowing this question had come up before, I began initiating that discussion.
Another idea is to bring photos to the meeting in addition to what may be in your biography. These will help augment your family story and serve as an ice breaker. Talk about what’s in your biography. Talk about your family or others who will be part of your social support network. This will allow the birthmother to envision what her child’s potential family life will be like and hopefully make her feel more at ease.
WHAT DO I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HER?
After the birthmother has had time to hear from you, you may have particular questions to ask her. If you haven’t already received basic information, you may want to ask about her health history. Some questions to get you started are “How is your pregnancy going?” and “Is the doctor/nurse concerned about anything?” Ideally, you’ll have a neutral party (facilitator, attorney) who can do this for you, but if not, you’ll need to find a way to get this information. Also ask her about why she’s placing, if others know, and if she has support for her decision. On a lighter note, ask her about her hobbies and interests. Someday your child may want to know more about her. This may be your only opportunity to get that information.
As the conversation progresses, ask her about specific needs she has. Will she need you to call and check on her through the remainder of her pregnancy? Will she need you at the hospital, or does she prefer you not be there? She may be going through the pregnancy alone and may want you to fill in as a support person.
Also ask about openness. Find out what she thinks will be the type of contact she wants after the birth. She may assume she can’t or won’t have any contact after placement. If you’re agreeable to some degree of contact, tell her. This could be a huge relief to her. She may have not thought much about it or may want to know your plans. She may want a large degree of openness. Openness may mean letters and pictures only or may include some sort of visitation arrangements. Whatever is decided, it needs to be agreeable to both of you. Don’t agree to something you can’t or don’t want to maintain.
What I learned in my adoption class, and what the birthmothers I spoke with confirmed, is that birthmothers just want to know their babies are safe, healthy, and well cared for. So receiving photos and letters, especially early on, allows them to see that. It helps them to feel reassured about their decision and allows them to move on. Often after the first year or so they may not feel a strong need to maintain contact. Of course this is variable.
SHOULD I BRING A GIFT TO THE BIRTHMOTHER WHEN I MEET HER?
This seems to be a gray area. It wasn’t something that occurred to me to do for any of my initial meetings. My personal take is that I wouldn’t want her to think I’m trying to buy her commitment to me. My agency actually doesn’t suggest giving any gifts except at placement. From posts I’ve read on SMC-Adopt, some others suggest that you do. The sense I got when speaking to the women who had placed was that gifts certainly weren’t expected, but if you want to give a gift, something small like flowers would be reasonable.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Be yourself. Be honest. Let the birthmother set the agenda upfront. Be respectful of her decision. You won’t be guaranteed a placement, but you can both walk away feeling better about the process.
SURVIVING THE SECOND ACT
by Barbara Matousek
During a recent discussion on one of SMC’s online forums, a disappointed and frustrated woman on the TTC (trying to conceive) board was trying to remind herself of why she started down this path in the first place. Her palpable pain brought me right back to my own gut-wrenching TTC experience—the endless blood tests and invasive ultrasounds to determine when my body was ready; the quiet as I lay on a paper-covered table in the hospital’s OB department waiting with my hips elevated; the nurses who said good luck each time I left the clinic; the excruciatingly long days of the two-week-wait when I obsessed over every little twinge and cramp; the pain of trying to keep a smile on my face as my doctor told me that I was once again not pregnant; the tears and sobs that erupted when I was alone in my car. My stomach actually hurt for this woman who was in that place, that moment of disappointment when everything crashes in and you hear that the time and money and emotional energy you invested this month didn’t pan out, didn’t bring you the child you’ve been dreaming about.
I had to write to her and tell her that I knew exactly how she felt in that moment. It really is the toughest time in the whole process. During all five of my failed IUIs, the day or two before I got my period and the day I got it were the most emotionally trying. I would work myself into a frenzy of sadness as I anticipated the results of my blood test. I was afraid to be hopeful so I’d prepare for the worst and then my mind would spiral into all directions: Why do I have to do this? What’s wrong with me that I can’t make a good relationship with a decent man happen? Did I wait too long? Am I being punished for something? Am I always going to be alone? And on and on and on. Every single cycle I did that to myself.
I told the woman on the SMC forum to keep busy so she wouldn’t have time to sit around and think all those things. Get on a treadmill. Go out with friends. Go for a walk. Force yourself to do something other than sit around and wait. Remind yourself how incredibly brave and strong you are. Because you are. You wouldn’t have chosen this path if you weren’t brave!
The TTC journey is almost always much harder than we expect it to be. Trying to conceive takes courage because it means moving forward despite your fears. If there were no fear, TTC wouldn’t require courage, wouldn’t require convincing yourself to take that first step. But just like any goal you set for yourself, achieving it will make it all worthwhile.
If you had set out to climb Mt. Everest, if you had known deep down inside that it was something you wanted to do, what would happen as you reached the higher altitudes? What would happen as you realized how hard achieving this goal would be? You’d likely have the same kinds of doubts and fears: Is this what I really want? Am I strong enough for this? If you decided to train for a marathon, committed to running a marathon, you would get to mile 23 and feel so incredibly overwhelmed with how much harder it is than you expected. And this would be the point when you’d have to remind yourself of how much you wanted this before you started.
I read a book by playwright David Mamet about the structure of a play. He explained that in the first act we see the hero and the hero’s dream. We see what the hero wants and how desperately he wants it. The third and final act is when we find out if the hero achieves his dream or if he fails or if his dream or the path to his dream changes. The middle of the play, the second act, is when we see the hero’s struggle. The second act is when the hero starts going after his dream and realizes that it’s going to be harder than he realized. The second act is when the hero has to persevere and be tough, and if he focuses on just taking it one step at a time and moving forward toward his dream, he’ll get there…even if it’s very, very hard. The second act is where the struggle lies.
I told the woman on the TTC forum to think of the TTC journey as being in the middle of the second act. It’s the same as climbing Everest or running a marathon. I told her to try to remember how much she wanted this when she started and think of this as the struggle she has to go through to achieve her dream. I told her to believe she would get there and she would.
I told her to stay busy and take her mind elsewhere so that she could keep moving up that mountain and get herself from the first act to the third act. The second act is awful and challenging, because it’s where you do all the hard mental and emotional work. But you can make it through. And then you’ll hit the third act, the one in which you achieve your dream.
To all the women out there who are on the journey to reach their dream of motherhood, hang in there. I know how incredibly hard these moments are, and I know probably nothing I say can help. But then again, we are brave and strong women, braver and stronger than you feel right now. And no matter what happens tomorrow or the next day, you’ll get there. Believe.
SMC VACATIONS 2009
East Coast SMC Vacation 2009
The dates for SMC East Coast vacation 2009 at Smuggler’s Notch in Vermont will be Sunday, August 16 through Friday August 21. The rates are the same as for 2008. There are children’s activities and we planned at least one group dinner last year that was great fun. To subscribe to the listserv for more information as the event is firmed up, please send an email to SMC-EastVacemail@example.com or email Laurie at firstname.lastname@example.org.
West Coast SMC Vacation 2009
For the seventh year in a row, a group of SMCs will be vacationing together in Santa Barbara at the Family Vacation Center at UC Santa Barbara. This year, we’ll be going during Week 3, which is July 11 to July 18. Reservations can be made directly with the Family Vacation Center. The place is fabulous, the staff is incredible, and our kids have really loved the kids programs. Last year, I took a walking tour of Santa Barbara, did some arts and crafts, had a couple of lovely adult dinners. Plus, my kids had a blast. Oh and did I mention several trips to the beach, which is just a short walk from our dorm? The kids programs (including infant care) are included in the overall price.
If you’re interested, you can register online (www.familyvacationcenter.com and go to Rates and Reservations) and send in a deposit to secure a room. Be sure to note SMC Group on your form and drop me (Debbie Lynch) an email (email@example.com) so that we can add you to our egroup and coordinate your room assignment with the rest of the group. If you think you’d like to share a four-bedroom suite with one or two other SMC families, let me know. I share a suite and love it. The rates include all meals (the food is wonderful and there’s a good variety to please all palates) and many activities. The building that we are in still has space but it will fill up so don’t delay in making a reservation.
Age (13+) …………………………..$899
Age 8-12 ………………………….. $832
Age 4-7 ……………………………. $799
Age 1-3 ……………………………. $659
Under 1 ……………………………. $399
DEAR MS. ESSIE
I don’t remember if this issue has been brought up before, but I’m hoping somebody will answer me: For those of you who ttc’ed before adopting, will you tell this baby when he or she is older you’re asked? My concern is that this little person might feel she or he is second choice. But lying is never good.
My daughter found out that I’d ttc’ed prior to the adoption when she ran across some things in a photo album about my having an ectopic pregnancy and then being in the hospital. She asked what the pictures were about, and I told her. She was probably around 9 or 10 at the time. (It hadn’t occurred to me to bring it up before that, but I obviously wasn’t trying to hide it.) Her reaction was similar to that of the people who said that they might not have been born if something in their parents’ lives had been different. A strange feeling about fate and about one thing having to go “wrong” to let another thing happen. Except that in her case the alternative wouldn’t have been that she would never have been born; she would just have been adopted into a different family. She spent a while trying that idea out, occasionally bringing up a thought about whether she’d prefer a different family compared to having me as a mother. My daughter has also thought a little about what it might have been like if I’d had the first child and then gone on to adopt her—there was enough time between the two events that that could have happened. She sometimes does want a sibling, sometimes older and sometimes younger, so this adds a semi-realistic twist to that imagining. While she’s been somewhat bemused by the concept of me possibly having had a birthchild before her, it’s never bothered her particularly. Neither does any other aspect of her adoption situation.
I don’t think I would specifically bring up the ttc aspect of my journey to motherhood with all of its details about miscarriage and so forth until my daughter was grown. I tell her I looked all over the world to find her and found her in Russia. I consider my ttc attempts as simply part of my search to find her. I really wanted a child, and I tried as hard as I could to make that happen. You were meant to be my child, and it just took a while for me to find you.
I didn’t ever ttc, so I can’t offer any perspective from that angle. However, I do have some thoughts on this. I’m the second born in my family, but from the third pregnancy. My mom had a brief pregnancy and miscarriage between my brother and me. I can’t remember ever not knowing this, so it must have been something that I was told periodically from before I was old enough to understand. I remember when I was young, I always thought that child would have been a girl, and wished she had been born so I could have had her for a sister. When I got older, I realized if she (or he) had been born, I would not have been. It’s just part of our family history, a sad thing for my parents, but without the miscarriage, there would be no me, and I think they’re glad to have me. So I guess my thinking is that, handled properly, you having ttc’ed as something your child always knows seems like a good idea to me. It’s part of how you ended up being a family.
It seems to me that so many of us have had lives that have not gone just as we might have originally hoped or planned, but we’ve also found that some wonderful gifts come out of at least some of the detours and changes in direction. I think I would talk about the move from ttc to adoption as part of my life narrative with all its twists and turns, with the eventual happy outcome that it has brought me to a child I absolutely adore. There are things I might have wanted when I was 25 that didn’t happen, and as a consequence my life has just gone in a different direction. Farther down the road, I have had different “first” choices.
Including ttc and 2 years of domestic adoption attempts, becoming a mom took me 7 years. Ugh! But my daughter is so wonderful. Ya know, I didn’t work out all the grief of not successfully achieving pregnancy and birth. In fact, those emotions seem more present now, in some ways. (While doing the adoption process, I was so focused on all the work of it, I didn’t have time or energy to feel the other stuff.) Those feelings of loss and bitterness are still there at times, but they have nothing to do with my daughter or how I feel about her. I adore her and love, love, love her and being her mommy. So I think life can be as complex as it is and we can still be happy and great moms.
I think I lean more toward not disclosing everything. This is not something the child has to know. It’s not like they have a sibling they never knew of, or you’re lying about who their father is. To me it’s more of the mom’s personal business. So if the child was sensitive or had low self esteem, or if you still feel kind of like it was Plan B, then I wouldn’t tell the child. To me it’s like if they ask, “Did you want a child who looks just like you or a child who was really smart or perfect physically or musically or athletically”. There are lots of questions where the brutal truth is unnecessary.
Your question took me aback, only because I’ve never contemplated that, and I believed I’d thought of everything. Ha! My first response is “Yes,” if asked, that I’d tell my daughter just about anything that felt age appropriate (or that I could answer in an age-appropriate way). I think it’s worth bringing forward “reality” when children bring up these complex questions, because the truth is rarely worse than their imaginations. I trust my ability to engage with her in a way that would allow her to grapple with these big issues, and I believe she will have to grapple with them, regardless of what I say or don’t say. Besides, I know my daughter is very intuitive and perceptive, and she’d know if I wasn’t being honest.
I tell my daughter that I am so grateful that she became mine, that a million different events conspired to make that possible. My whole life before that was just a path that led me to her. For what it’s worth, my daughter was adopted from China and she looks nothing like me! And as she’s grown up, she’s certainly become her own person. But there are aspects of her worldview and outlook on life that appear to have been influenced by me.
Because my first child is a product of donor insemination and my second child will come to me via adoption, this issue is very real to me. I did try to conceive in between child #1 and #2— about 8 attempts over 3 years. My first child is 81⁄2. We’ve had many discussions about how I came to be a single mom. As she has gotten older and more articulate, she has started to compare her own situation to the “norm” (two parents get together, have a birthchild). And she has asked me a lot of what-ifs. What if I had gotten married, how would her life have been different? Am I sorry I didn’t get married? My answer has always been along the lines, I thought I would get married and I think I would have liked being married. But if I had been married, I wouldn’t have had YOU. I might have had some other child, but it wouldn’t have been YOU and I can’t imagine my life without YOU. YOU came along at the perfect time. That has always pleased and satisfied my daughter, and I think some version of that response will be the right answer for my next child too.
I had a discussion like this with a friend who said she didn’t intend to tell her kids they were conceived via IVF. I had never thought of it being a secret, but she worried they would feel weird. I pointed out that nearly everyone they know knows she conceived with IVF. With all the relatives and most of the family friends knowing, it seems unfair for the kids not to know. Plus, it’s unlikely all those people would keep it a secret, and the children should find out the truth from their parents, not Aunt Betty or mom’s college roommate. So I would say that if other people know you tried to conceive, your child should know. But I also think there are other ways of approaching the issue. It’s not that you wanted Child A, and you got Child B. You wanted to be a mom, and you tried to achieve that in one way, and when that didn’t work, you tried a different way. One way isn’t better than the other, just as one child isn’t more wanted than another. I guess I don’t see it as any different from the fact that some of us thought we would be parenting children with a husband or partner. If I had married at 35, I probably would have adopted a different child from the one I ended up adopting at 40. Maybe I would have given birth. I probably would be parenting more than one child. Who knows? I didn’t take that path, but it doesn’t make this path any less wonderful.
Editor’s Note: In this feature, the wit and wisdom of our very smart and together SMC—Ms. Essie Emcee—is tapped to answer some of the question that SMCs may face. Other sources of extraordinary wisdom can be found on the SMC listserve groups. It was from the Adopt list, in fact, that this question and the answers were shamelessly stolen. If you have a question you’d like Ms. Essie to answer, email firstname.lastname@example.org or mail it to Box 1642, Gracie Square Station, NYC 10028.
by Jean M. Hoff
When I suggested writing this column in September, I had no idea this particular October was coming. October 2008 stands as one of the worst months in history for global stock markets. For example, the S&P 500 index of 500 major U.S. companies lost 16.8 percent in October 2008, its worst performance since October 1987 (a loss of 21.5%) and before that since May 1940 (a loss of 22.9%). So, with this as background, a question:
Now that the value of my investment accounts has plummeted, what should I do?
DO NOTHING, OR BUY MORE STOCK.
Savings should support either short-term goals or long-term goals. Short-term goals are funds that you will need within the next 12 to 24 months, and the funds should be “safe.” Hold that money in cash, such as a savings account at an FDIC-insured bank, a certificate of deposit that will come due at the time of the expected expense, or a money market mutual fund. This is the money you have set aside for purchasing sperm and paying the fertility clinic, for paying for your adoption home study, for traveling overseas to meet your child, for supplementing your income during the expensive child care years (infants and toddlers), for a down payment on a house you want to buy next year.
Long-term goals include supporting yourself in retirement and contributing to your child or children’s college education, assuming you have young, pre-middle-school-aged children. For long-term goals, every woman should develop her own target asset allocation. The most important decision about asset allocation is what percentage of your assets is held in stocks. By subtracting your stock percentage from 100, the remaining percentage is held in bonds. A simple calculator that gives you a target allocation based on your answers to three or four questions is found at www.cnnmoney.com. Click on Personal Finance on the top bar, Calculators in the middle column, Investing in the middle column, then Fix Your Asset Allocation. Given the audience of this newsletter, I would imagine that vast majority of us would have a personal target that lies between 60 percent stocks/40 percent bonds and 85 percent stocks/15 percent bonds.
For the remainder of this column, I’m going to use 70 percent stocks/30 percent bonds as my base. Let’s assume that on January 1, 2008, your only long-term asset, your 401(k) held the following investments:
Vanguard 500 Index Fund . . . . . $100,000 (50%)
Fidelity Spartan Int’l Index Fund . . $40,000 (20%)
Vanguard US Bond Fund . . . . . . $60,000 (30%)
From January 1 to October 31, through payroll deductions and employer matches, you added $10,000, in the same ratio outlined above. However, the values of all three funds have dropped, and your $200,000 account is now worth $157,250.
Vanguard 500 Index Fund…………..$71,200 (45%)
Fidelity Spartan Int’l Index Fund ……$24,450 (16%)
Vanguard US Bond Fund …………$61,600 (39%)
Once you get over the shock of the lower total, you notice the allocation is now quite far from your targets. The bond fund is over weighted by 9 percent, so you need to sell $14,400. Purchasing $7,400 of Vanguard 500 and $7,000 of Fidelity Spartan Int’l Index will bring the underweighted assets back to targets of 50 percent and 20 percent.
Setting a target allocation and rebalancing your accounts to meet the targets is a disciplined approach. We are forced to sell high, buy low. To rebalance in the example above, the bond fund will be sold in at a share price of $9.58, slightly down from $9.80. The Vanguard 500 Index Fund will be purchased at a share price of $73.80, down from $109.88. The international fund has experienced a greater decline from a share price $47.24 to $27.15, and even more of it will be purchased. (Per share values on January 1, 2008, and October 31, 2008, from www.finance.yahoo.com and adjusted for dividend distributions. $10,000 new investment assumed to occur at the average of January 1 and October 31 prices.)
This example is admittedly much less useful if you didn’t have a target asset allocation and a balanced account in January. For example, what if all of your long-term funds are in stocks, and you now realize that you should have invested only 60 percent in stocks? Should you sell right now and buy bonds? Maybe. But, you could also direct all new contributions into bonds and eventually reach the desired bond percentage. You might also consider selling stocks to purchase bonds in two steps, once now to partially reach the target and again in several months to complete the rebalance.
What if the money you need for your short-term goal is in the stock market? It’s tough to sell stocks right now so you can spend the proceeds, but you’ll certainly be more inclined to remember for next time, money for short-term goals needs to be in cash.
What if, based on anxiety and fear, you want to sell your stocks and move all of your long-term money to cash? If you choose to move out of stocks, it will be difficult to know when to get back in. Historically, stock market recoveries have come quickly, and are not predicted in advance. If you are not in the market already, you are likely to miss the recovery; and most of the positive returns occur in very short and unpredictable time periods. In fact, this October, the Dow Jones Index, an index of 30 U.S. stocks, increased by more than 10% on both October 13th and 28th. These are the strongest one day rallies since 1933.
Leaving your account statements sealed in their envelopes may allow you to stay in the stock market, and I know folks who have adopted this “don’t look” posture. Remember my simple answer of what to do now – do nothing, or buy more stocks. In future columns, I will explain my preference for low cost mutual funds as investment vehicles, and how to construct your own portfolio using such funds.
In the meantime, to learn more about how the press has covered previous bear market declines, see www.dfaus.com/library/videos, “Is It Different this Time?”
Jean M. Hoff is a Single Mother by Choice, raising two daughters, Gretchen (born January 10, 2002) and Carolyn (born August 15, 2004), and missing her son Isaac (January 10, 2002, to January 17, 2002, SIDS). She works for a wealth management firm in the Washington, D.C., area and can be reached via e-mail, email@example.com. She welcomes comments on this article and suggestions for future articles, which will regularly appear in the SMC newsletter. Please note that the opinions and advice expressed here are those of the author. Single Mothers by Choice does not in and of itself offer financial advice.
WHAT'S THE BUZZ
Please send all arrival announcements to Shelby Siems at firstname.lastname@example.org. And congratulations to all our new moms.
Karen Avery is thrilled to announce the birth of her twin daughters, Eden Grace and Erika Marie. The girls were born on October 7. Eden arrived at 8:58 p.m. and weighed 5.1lbs and Erika arrived at 9:00 p.m. and weighed 5.2lbs.
With expanding joy, Lisa Kully (finally) announces the homecoming of her daughter Jardena Andrea Tambriz, born in Guatemala on my half-birthday, December. 13, 2006. After four week-long visits in Guatemala, we flew home together on November 20, 2007. We’re having oodles of fun in Berkeley, California.
Marcie Van Houten is overjoyed to announce the birth of her son, Gabriel John. Gabriel was born on May 26, 2008. He was 8lbs, 1oz, and 20in. At nearly 6 months he’s more than 20 pounds and making my life so full and fun. He’s helped me become a better person and I love being his mommy.
Lauren Tilelli from Scotch Plains, New Jersey announces the birth of her daughter, Madeleine Grace, on September 8, 2008, at 9:48 a.m. She was 7.3lbs. She is wonderful and beautiful and I cannot stop kissing her.
Sarah Leedy is the new CP for Torrance, California.
She can be reached at email@example.com.
Laura Tujak is the new Contact Person for Nassau County, New York. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER
This newsletter is published quarterly by Single Mothers by Choice Inc., a nonprofit founded in 1981. Annual subscriptions to this newsletter are included free with a membership ($55 for first year, $35 for renewal) or by subscription at $25 per year. Give a friend a gift. We are a nonprofit 501(c) corporation, and donations are tax deductible to the extent allowed by law.
We welcome submissions of original material. All material is published at the discretion of SMC and may be edited. SMC claims sole editorial authority and responsibility for the contents. Articles published in this newsletter represent the views of the author and not necessarily that of SMC. Send submissions to Shelby Siems at the SMC office or by email to email@example.com.
SMC accepts advertising at the rate of $1,000 per page (adjusted proportionately for fractions of a page). Classified ads or announcements from our members for noncommercial ventures are accepted without charge. Jane Mattes, CSW, the publisher of the newsletter, is the founder of SMC and author of Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood. Jane is also a psychotherapist and can be reached at (212) 988-0993, at firstname.lastname@example.org, or at the SMC office at Box 1642, Gracie Square Station, New York, NY 10028.
Mico Promotions, Inc.