Table of Contents
When Motherhood Seems Real
by Kathryn Kear
Motherhood seemed real the night my son got his first infection. I had driven an hour and a half from my house (I had to check the mail) and got to the NICU at about 6:00 PM, wanting to hold my little guy. I arrived only to be informed by the nurse that she thought he had an infection, they were starting antibiotics immediately, and, no, I could not hold him. I asked what his symptoms were and she told me, but nowhere on the list was a fever. I wondered at that and thought it was a minor thing. But something niggled at me.
I left at 9:00 that night and checked back into the Ronald McDonald House. After I settled into the room, I called. Oh my. He had to go back on the respirator so the nurse couldn’t talk (incubation is a serious matter). And then at 11, she called as she was leaving the shift. He was back in Acute Care because of the trouble breathing. It would be touch and go through the night. I wandered over around midnight and just stared at him through the isolate windows, praying, gazing. I couldn’t talk to him through the porthole because he needed his rest to fight. All I could do was be there. I went back home again around 2 AM and fell asleep. At 6, I called again and checked on him. He had weathered the night and was responding to the ventilator well. Phew. I was there at 8, checking. Still good. At 11, after rounds, I was let back into the NICU and I was getting an update from the nurse about his stats when my stomach started to hurt. I thought, “panic attack.”
Yeah, I get them. And for some reason, they strike when I am seriously stressed and worried. I tried to bear the pain but it wasn’t going away. I told the nurse I was in pain, that I was simply going to trust her with my son’s life, and I went to lay down, to see if it would go away. A neonatologist wandered by, observed that I looked really bad and advised I hit the emergency room. Even a baby doctor could tell I needed help. After a half hour fighting it, I did as she suggested.
And found out I had a bad gallbladder. What happened next was the defining moment. I knew the etiology of breast milk production. Pain is bad. Pump every three hours. I must pump so my baby would have milk. Breast milk is best for a preemie. The poor male ER cardiac nurse assigned to me (yeah, I had heart palpitations from all this, just incidental) had to go find me a breast pump. He had to relay the message to the doc that I needed drugs NOW so I could produce milk because pain would dry me up. And he had to finagle things so I could pump, hooked up to morphine, in the ER hallway just prior to the emergency gallbladder removal surgery and immediately afterwards. He had to deal with calls from the lactation consultant and NICU, updating me on my son’s condition and telling me to pump and dump, as I lay in the surgery prep room dealing with the anesthesiologist. It was the most nerve-wracking episode of my life, having to be separated (by 7 floors) from my son while having major surgery.
But the next day, the surgeon released me ten hours early because of my devotion. He gave me a pain pill prescription but as he handed it to me, he said, “I know you won’t fill this, but I want you to consider doing it — this was major surgery and I want you to know that.” Yeah, right, fork it over honey, and let me up to the NICU to see my son.
And as I bounded off the elevator, hunched over due to the stomach incisions, headed for my son’s bedside, his nurse was just getting off to go home. She was stunned I was up and about. That’s when I knew I was a mother. I was a lioness, protecting her cub, and no matter that I had a big bite out of my abdomen, I was going to sit next to my cub and protect him from the nastiness in life. And that’s just what I did. He got past the infection and Mama Lion was beside him the whole way.
Contingency Planning for SMCs
This brief guide is adapted from a paper by Emily Engel on contingency plans for choice moms in the UK, which was inspired by the passing of a Choice Mom friend who left a ten-year old daughter. Emily writes, “Mundane things can happen, a sprained ankle, a dose of flu’ or a stomach bug, or a crisis with another family member may put you in a situation where it’s hard to prioritize the stability and security your child needs. Forward planning may save you a lot of legwork in a crisis, and may defuse some of the underlying anxieties we often push to the back of our mind.”
• Start building your family’s “village” before your child is born or comes home.
• Make friends with other parents who live nearby and might be able to provide backup or emergency care.
• Remember that other single moms might be freer to help and appreciate a reciprocal arrangement.
• These support people do not need to be people you would necessarily strike up a friendship with in other situations, but you do need to respect and trust them.
In an emergency:
• You want to try to ensure that your child experiences as little disruption as possible, e.g. keeping them at home with familiar toys and bed.
• Having them stay with people they know is preferable to strangers, even if they are trained and qualified childcare providers
• Ask someone to help you care for your children at home, if, for example, you are sick.
• Go somewhere, like a relative’s home, as a family until you are well enough to manage on your own.
• If necessary have your child stay with you at night but be cared for elsewhere during the day
• Have your child stay with someone until you are well enough to take charge gain. An optimal situation is to have them stay with someone they already know.
Long Term Planning — Naming a Guardian
• Think of people you might consider asking to raise your child(ren) in the event of your death.
• Talk with them about their willingness and ability to do so.
• Appointing a guardian can be done verbally, but to ensure that it is recognized as your wish in the case of any dispute, it is best done formally, for instance in a Will.
by Nancy Nisselbaum
Last summer I wrote this:
This summer, my 9-year-old son lets himself into our apartment after getting off the camp bus. He goes upstairs and plops his stuff down and calls me at work. I get home within an hour, so he’s not home alone for very long. He says he’s fine. He says he can handle it. His friends ask their parents why they aren’t being left home alone. He’s only cried twice.
Don’t ask how many times I’ve cried. How many times I’ve questioned the wisdom of this decision (which, honestly, has been based on monetary concerns but also factored in that he’s a very responsible boy who has handled being home longer than this—it’s the letting himself in part that makes me somewhat concerned). My son is self-reliant for his age. And he handles this responsibility with bravado. He has his own cell phone now—so he can call me when he gets home or I can call him while he’s on the bus. He empties his backpack daily and puts his wet towel and swimsuits in the dryer. He lies on the couch and watches television. It all sounds so innocuous.
Yet I feel torn. Am I making him grow up too fast? Am I giving him responsibility that’s too great for his years? I know other 9-year-olds who are as independent, yet I know many more who are never left home alone—EVER!!!! And I don’t feel that’s right either. Kids need to start learning someform of independence, of being separated from mom and able to do stuff on their own. I’ve started this process slowly—leaving the house for 5- minute intervals, then lengthening those, then going to an evening meeting at my local synagogue.
But it was thetwo times that hecried, that he got scared because he couldn’t get in touch with me (once I didn’t hear the phone and onceI was on thesubway) that did me in. That raked me over the mommy coals and made me question my our?—decision.This isn’t something I imposed on him. This is something we talked about and talked about and talked about—and still talk about. We considered various scenarios and he— we? decided that he was able to handle this. So long as he could get in touch with me. He has the phone numbers of numerous friends and neighbors programmed into his phone, but there’s the embarrassment factor. He couldn’t call Dylan’s mom—he’d be too embarrassed, even though Dylan is never left home alone and when his mom drops Marshall off after picking him up from the bus of camp #2 (which doesn’t do door-to-door drop-off and pick-up as camp #1 does), she makes him talk to her on the cell phone while he goes up to the apartment in the elevator and locks the door.
Add into the mix that we’ve talked about after school in the fall. He goes to the local Y, but we’ve—I’ve?—agreed that he can come home on Fridays by himself and let himself into the apartment. Hestill says he wants to do it, that he’s not afraid. But maybe I’m a little afraid. Afraid that he’s growing up too fast, that he’s nine years old but taking on the responsibility of someone much older. Then, just to cap things off, I talk about getting a babysitter forthesix nights a yearI go to theater. And he looks at me and says, “Why do I need a babysitter? I can put myself to bed.” I calmly explain why that isn’t an option.
Am I making him grow up too fast? I think back to my own childhood and realize I was walking to and from school by myself from first grade on. Were times all that different? I’m not sure. But my mom didn’t work when I was in grade school. When I got home, she was there. I’m newly re-employed after 13 months of unemployment. So much happened—so many transitions occurred for a boy who doesn’t like transitions—at the same time: I got a job, he started camp and started letting himself in, then my brother and his family came to visit from Israel and my nieces were staying in our apartment—in Marshall’s room, which meant he was displaced and had no place to call his own for two weeks—and then he started a new camp for two weeks. All events that make a person’s head spin.
I think he’ll be okay. I know he’ll be okay. But I want him to be able to say, “This isn’t working.” And at one point he did. When he cried the second time, I asked him if he wanted to go to Laura’s house after coming home from camp for the rest of the week. And he did. But now he’s back at camp #1 and letting himself him. And I have to be ready at 4:35 to answer his call. I wear my cell phone and make sure the volume is turned up.
Would I be going through this, I wonder, if I weren’t single? Maybe. If I made more money? Maybe. Am I making him grow up too fast? Maybe. Is this working? Maybe. But for now, this is the way it is in our family. And for the most part, it’s working. Maybe we’re both growing up a little too fast. Maybe he’s maturing at exactly the right pace and I’m reacting like a typical mother worrying that he’s growing up too fast. We’ll have to see how it all pans out and realize that no decision is ever irrevocable.
Flash forward one year.
We didn’t, after all, have Marshall come home by himself on Fridays. We talked about it before the school year started and he admitted that it would be too much, that he would be too lonely to stay home from 3:30 until 6:00. I understood that and found the extra $700 and sent him to the Y. This summer, however, I see a different boy. I see a 10- year-old, almost a young man, who is so confident coming home by himself that he forgets to call me and I wind up calling him. “Oops, sorry Mom, I forgot to call. I’m home, I’m safe. Bye.” More often than not this summer, when I have an errand to do that will take an hour or so after dinner, he’s happy to stay home and play Lego Universe or watch TV or take his shower. The difference between a 9-year-old and a 10-year-old—or at least the differences in MY child—is huge. There’s a new level of maturity and self-confidence, of knowing that he’s safe on his own and that I’m here if he doesn’t feel safe. I still get multiple goodnight hugs before he goes off to bed and they are what sustain mein this stressfilled world. My boy is growing up. Maybe we did it a little too fast, but he’s independent and loving and honest and his own person. I’m going to bring up coming home on Fridays after school again, and I think he’ll be fine with it this year. And if he’s not, somewhere, I’ll find the extra dough. Because he knows that I won’t make him do something he’s not completely ready for.
Pre-Order Your 30th Anniversary Celebration DVDs!
For the first time in our history, the grown children of SMCs will be speaking about what it was like to grow up in an SMC family. A DVD of this panel, as well as panels with the moms of grown children, a panel on The Search for Genetic Roots (donor sibs, with Wendy and Ryan Kramer, bio-families with Joni Mantell), and a talk by Jane Mattes, Founder and Director of SMC, “What We Have Learned – the past 30 years” are now available for pre-order:
Pre-orders are being taken to assure that we will have enough orders to cover the costs of the videotaping. DVDs are $30 each, or the set of four for $99. (If you don’t want to use PayPal, send a check to SMC, PO Box 1642, NY NY 10028). Order now!
Child of Mine - A Story of Embryo Donation
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I started babysitting when I was just 9 years old and continued to do so through college. I have always loved children and “borrowed” my friends’ children on a regular basis. When I was in my mid-20s, I would often say that if I got to be 35, wasn’t married, and had no prospects for marriage, I was going to go to a sperm bank and use a turkey baster.
Fast forward ten years: Me, at age 35, not married and not involved with anyone. And so my journey toward motherhood began. Fast forward another two years. I had moved back to my hometown so I could be near my family, bought a house, lost weight, and was on the brink of my first donor insemination. I was beyond excited!! The morning of my insemination, I took a picture of myself, my dog, and the tank that held the sperm and labeled it as my first family photo. Little did I know that disappointment lay ahead.
After three negative natural cycles, I proceeded to Clomid, which yielded three more negative cycles. During the final one, I had some testing done and found that my chance of conceiving a child with my own eggs was less than 4 percent. To say I was devastated is an understatement. After two days of crying, I made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist who confirmed the news and also felt there was a good chance that I had endometriosis. A laparoscopy confirmed and corrected the problem.
But now I was re-energized. I was sure that I would conceive after going through all that. After three failed cycles of injectible fertility medications, I couldn’t take anymore. I had been in counseling after getting the news of my elevated FSH but had stopped after the laparoscopy. After the third failed injectible cycle, I called the counselor again and she saw me right away. She prescribed an antidepressant medication. I didn’t want to take it, but I could barely get out of bed in the morning and knew that I had to do something.
I attended an all day adoption seminar put on by a local RESOLVE chapter. One session was on “donor embryo”—it changed my life. Couples that have embryos left over from an IVF cycle have the option to donate those embryos (depending on the clinic) to another couple or single person who wishes to experience pregnancy and birth. The cost is much less than a donor egg/donor sperm cycle. I found a clinic that had donated embryos available and sent in my application.
I had a phone consultation with one of the physicians and waited for the list of embryos to arrive. The list tells you how many embryos are available from a particular couple, whether there was a third party involved, and some basic information (height, weight, hair color, eye color, profession, and ethnic background) about the man and woman who created the embryos. When the list arrived, I made my choices and then waited to hear if they would be donated to me.
The phone call came in about two weeks. I had been given ten embryos from three different couples! In my haste to become a mom, I decided that I wanted them all. After discussing my decision with my counselor, I decided it would be preferable if all of the embryos came from one couple. This way, I would have at least some basic medical information for my child. I let the clinic know my decision and waited for the next list to arrive.
During that time, I did some intense grieving over the loss of a biological child. My counselor was helpful and supportive. I spent the majority of my sessions with her in tears. It was the only place I felt I could truly let go and just cry. I also did some artwork at that time to express how I was feeling. The new list of embryos arrived and I, again, made my choices and waited for the phone call. Luck was on my side and I was offered nine embryos….all from the same couple! I accepted them and was planning on having them transferred as soon as possible.
Just prior to having my transfer, I met with my counselor and told her that I wanted to have some sort of ritual to let go of the dream of a biological child an open myself up to whatever soul was to come to me. She thought it was a great idea and said that she would be happy to be a part of it. I planned the ritual, made a program, and asked my pastor and a close friend to be there. I set up a little altar, lit a candle, and had nine balloons to release as a representation of the nine times that I had tried to conceive. My therapist read a letter I had written to “the child of my dreams,” and the others spoke and read some special things that they had chosen. The service was very healing for me.
Five days later, four of the nine embryos (those that survived the thaw) I had chosen were transferred into me. An incredible sense of peace came over me at that point, and I considered myself pregnant until proven otherwise. Nine days later, my blood test confirmed that I was, indeed, pregnant. I was elated!!
I now watch my beautiful daughter and am in awe of the miracle that she is. It’s hard to believe that I grieved so intensely over the loss of a biological connection. She couldn’t be anymore mine. The resemblance between her and my mom (when my mom was young) is uncanny. I just know that she is the child who was waiting for me all along. Everyday I am incredibly grateful to the couple that enabled me to have this incredible gift in my life.
BE AN SMC CONTACT PERSON
The primary purpose of the CP is to welcome new members of SMC and to let them know what is happening on the local level. You may also want to contact current members and start organizing a local chapter meeting. As the CP, you could contact the local members and start to run local meetings or set up an organizational meeting for the local members where the roles and responsibilities of a local chapter are distributed amongst those who are interested in having an active chapter. If you’re interested, contact the SMC office at email@example.com.
Julia Edson is the new CP for Walnut Creek, CA. She can be reached at Julia.Edson@att.net
Darby McDonough is a new CP for Salt Lake City, UT. She can be reached at 818-720-5321 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
New SMC Discussion Forum
We’re very excited to introduce the new SMC Discussion Forum. The SMC Forum is an online discussion site for our members where people can hold conversations in the form of posted messages. Whether you are thinking about becoming a Single Mother by Choice or are trying to conceive or preparing to adopt; whether you are pregnant or are already a mother, you will find a welcoming community here.
You will find forum discussions dedicted to every aspect of the SMC journey. The messages are divided up into various subforums covering topics related to all stages of parenting, as well as practical matters, like sharing tips on dating, budgeting, household maintenance, recipes, and much more. Within each subforum, members may start individual threads to ask questions or discuss issues of interest to them and other SMCs.
The Forum is a place to get 24/7 support and information from other members who are going through the same things, and from those who have been through them already. To protect your privacy, membership in the SMC Forum is restricted to those who are registered members of SMC.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR JOINING THE FORUM
In order to participate on the forums, you will need to create a new account. To register, please go to Click “register” and follow the directions.
Create a user name and password. If you have a yahoo groups username and password, they are not linked to the new forums, so you are free to create a new username and password or to reuse your old ones as you choose. You may register with any email address; you do not have to use the same email address you use for the yahoo groups, though of course you are welcome to do so if you wish.
To complete registration you must fill in the text box marked “address”. Your name and address cannot be seen by other members, but this information allows us in the SMC office to confirm your membership. In order to expedite membership verification, you may also include information regarding which SMC yahoo lists you are registered on: http://forums.singlemothersbychoice.com
1) any SMC list (drop down menulabeled “smcyahoogroups”)
2) your yahoo ID and/or email address corresponding to yahoo group in selection 1, above (this text box will not accept the “@” sign, so please write out “at” or only include your yahoo ID)
You will be notified by email when your account “goes live.” After you register, there will be a short delay in being able to access the boards until your request is processed, usually less than 24 hours. Once you get a 2nd notice of activation from the forum, you’re good to go, and if you’d like to post an introduction, there is an Introductions thread under “Community” where you can do that. Enjoy!
If you have trouble registering, please email the Listmamas at SMC-listmamas-all@yahoo groups.com and describe the problem.
Note: The Forum is replacing the SMC Yahoogroups (except for the Local groups which will remain on Yahoo). The Yahoo groups will remain available on a read-only basis for the foreseeable future.
SMC now has a blog! It can be found at:
Setting a Date
We have noticed a trend — we are getting more members on the younger end of the spectrum than we used to. These are women who are thinking ahead, and want to explore the option of single motherhood by choice rather than wait till their biological clock is ticking more loudly. This post, posted on the SMC blog a while ago, is about that. The SMC blog can be found on our website: http:// www.singlemothersbychoice.org/ If you would like to share your thoughts with our members and the world about any aspect of the SMC experience, please submit your blog post to me (email@example.com). Blog posts can be of any length — take a look at the blog to get an idea of the varieties of posts that have been submitted. Remember that the blog is public, and you can sign it with just your first name, or no name, if you are concerned about privacy. If you have a photo to go with the post, that’s always a nice thing.
Setting a Date
I just turned 29. All the time I hear “you’re so young” “wait for Mr. Right” “you’ve got plenty of time” from people I talk to about my choice to become a single mother. I’m not exactly shouting it from the rooftops, but I’m not shy about it either. People think I have plenty of time, but I don’t feel like I have plenty of time. And ultimately, its my choice. So the term “thinker” doesn’t seem to fit me anymore. I consider myself a “planner”. I’m making plans, getting things ready.
I want to have an awesome 30th birthday party. I have my girlfriends all ready to do something big. It’s going to be my bachelorette. I think that’s reasonable. I’m going to go from single girl to mother. That’s way more of a commitment of time, energy, and freedom than getting married. I’m settling down, just not with a man. So before I dive into the world of basal body temp, OPKs, and cervical mucus; let’s party! Then its down to business.
I have gone over all my finances (several times now). I want x amount of money in the bank; x amount for the actual TTCing cost. I want to have my will, estate plan, guardianship, insurance and all of that in order. There are things I want to do to the house (like add stairs on to my deck so I don’t have to walk down to the basement while I’m pregnant to let the dog out). I feel like I can have everything ready in a year. I feel like 30 is a good age to do this. If I thought I could just throw all caution to the wind, I would start trying tomorrow. I’m just not that type of person. I do have some time, so I want to be as prepared as I can. (prepared…for parenthood? Is anyone really?) So…I’m waiting. Waiting to try. Waiting to wait to ovulate…to wait to test…to wait to try again…to wait to have the baby. I’m not the best at waiting…
So I felt like I should set a date. Somehow it felt really important to me so say “this” is when I’m going to start. Not, sometime next year, but a real date. I’m still on the pill (isn’t it strange how much of our lives we go to really great lengths NOT to get pregnant?) so I counted my weeks. I will have a period February 1st 2012. So that will be my first charting cycle. I talked to my OBGYN and she said I need a clean cycle without the birth control pills and to be on the prenatal vitamins before I start trying. So assuming it all works out… (right…) I’ll have my period on the first of February; chart the month of February; have another period somewhere around March 1st; and, assuming my cycles are even kind of normal, be ready to have my first insemination around mid March. Woah! A date! Something I can actually count down to! Even though I’m not doing any more to work toward becoming a mother than I was before…somehow it feels like I am. Each day is a day closer.
I feel better having a date. Will it all go according to plan? Probably not. A year can be a long time for something to go wrong. But, for now, I have a plan. I have a date and a time when I really begin my journey to become a mother. I hope this year goes by quickly, and uneventfully. 354 days to go!
What's the Buzz
SMC 30th Anniversary Celebration
The SMC 30th Anniversary Celebration, which will be held at the New York Marriott, Brooklyn Bridge, October 14-16, will consist of panels, presentations and a dinner. The focus of the event will be on how our choice to raise children in an SMC family impacts them. We hope that members will register for both the meetings and the dinner, but we do understand that some may only be able to attend one or the other. For the first time in our history, the adult offspring of SMCs and their moms will be speaking about what it was like for them to be an SMC family. We will have panels with the adult children of some of our SMC members and the mothers of adult SMC children. We will also have a panel on Genetic Roots with Wendy Kramer and her son Ryan, sociologist Rosanna Hertz, from Wellesley College, and Joni Mantell of the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center. We will address issues ranging from thinking through parenting of grown children. And although the majority of the day will be scheduled, there will be time for socializing as well. For details and registration, see the SMC Website’s Celebration page: www.singlemothersbychoice.org/information.
I need your help!
As you know, we are celebrating SMC’s 30th anniversary this October. I know how much the organization means to you and hope you know how much it means to me. It’s been my second child.
Over the last thirty years, I’ve gotten innumerable and wonderful “thank you” emails from many of you, and now I need to ask you all for some help. In order to make the Celebration affordable, we had to charge less for registration than the actual cost of the event. So I’m asking you to make a donation of whatever amount you can afford to help us close that gap. If everyone contributes something, even a small amount, it will make a huge difference. If your family members or friends would like to donate to help SMC, they can also do so, and their donations would be most welcome.
To make a donation, go to: http://www.singlemothersbychoice.org/information/
Click on the “DONATE” button on that page, and enter the amount you’d like to donate. I would greatly appreciate any and all help you can provide. And thank you for your support.
Best regards – Jane
If you have someone new in the house please send the information to firstname.lastname@example.org. Be sure to include all the vital statistics.
Tara Volungis happily announces the birth of her son, Nathan Daniel Volungis, on June 6, 2011. He weighed 8 pounds, 9 ounces and was 19 inches long. He arrived via planned c-section, which went very smoothly. We’ve been recovering nicely at home and having a wonderful time! His grandparents are very excited and have been extremely helpful. This is definitely the best thing I’ve ever done!
It is with excitement that I announce the birth of my twin girls Sadie Madison and Stella Mae Pearl. They were born on May 6, 2011, using donor sperm and were conceived on my second medicated IUI. –Stacey Pearl.
I am so happy to announce the birth of my precious baby boy. Carter Elias Van Looy was born April 11, 2011 at 3:38 pm. He made his entrance into the world a few days early and weighed 9 lbs. 8 oz. He was 22 inches long. Despite being a very big baby, the delivery was easy and now I’m enjoying being a mommy to this very special and sweet bundle of joy! –Heather Van Looy
Jody Lewandowski welcomed her boy/girl twins on December 18, 2010 at 4:43 a.m. and 4:44 a.m. respectively. Elijah John, 6 lbs. 6 oz. and 20.5 inches long, is a laid back, sweet little boy, getting longer by the day. His sister, Mia Joy, 6 lbs. 11 oz. and 20 inches long, announced he rentrance to the world with quite a cry, and she continues to know just what she wants. What Jody wanted is a family, and that is what she has!
Aleza Kulp is so excited to announce the arrival of Leor Jacob Kulp on July 14, 2011 at 5:29 am. Leor weighed 9 lbs 10 oz and was 20 1/4″ long. He is so delicious; we are enjoying every precious moment together!!
ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER
This newsletter is published quarterly by Single Mothers by Choice Inc., a nonprofit founded in 1981. Annual subscriptions to this newsletter are included free with a membership ($55 for first year, $35 for renewal) or by subscription at $25 per year. Gift subscriptions are available. We are a nonprofit 501(c) corporation, and donations aretax deductibleto theextent allowed by law.
We welcome submissions of original material. All material is published at the discretion of SMC and may be edited. SMC claims sole editorial authority and responsibility for the contents. Articles published in this newsletter represent the views of the author and not necessarily that of SMC. Send submissions to Laura Isabel Serna at the SMC office or by email to email@example.com.
Work published in the SMC Newsletter is intended for distribution to SMC members only. Authors retain the rights to their work and may use their own work in any form without the permission of SMC. SMC may re-publish authors articles in future SMC publications for distribution to SMC members. SMC will not publish newsletter writings in any other format (such as on the web, in another publication, etc.) without written or verbal permission from the author.
The SMC Newsletter accepts advertising. Please call or email for rates. Jane Mattes, CSW, the publisher of the newsletter, is the founder of SMC and author of Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood. Jane is also a psychotherapist and can be reached at (212) 988-0993, at firstname.lastname@example.org, or at the SMC office at Box 1642, Gracie Square Station, New York, NY 10028.
Entire contents copyright © 2011, Single Mothers by Choice Inc. All rights reserved.
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