By Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., Founder and Director of SMC (Paperback, 243 pages, ISBN # 0-8129-2246-8)
Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., founded the Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) organization in 1981. She has been a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City for over thirty years and is a single mother by choice. In this book she addresses the many unique issues women face when making a decision about whether or not to become a single mother by choice, as well as the issues that come afterward — in particular, the “Daddy questions”. Some sample agreements with a known donor are also included.
Becoming an SMC by conception: Conception by donor insemination, Insemination with an unknown donor, Insemination with a known donor, Conception with a sex partner
Becoming an SMC by adoption: Agency or independent adoption? Open or closed adoption? Should you adopt a newborn or a toddler or an older child? U.S.or foreign adoption?
Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: Telling people, Complications of pregnancy, The hospital, How to fill out the birth certificate, The postpartum period — home alone
The Daddy questions: Preparing for the child’s daddy questions, Handling the daddy questions during each developmental stage, Dealing with the daddy questions in the community, If you conceived with someone you know, If you conceived with an unknown donor
Special child development issues for children of SMCs: Separation issues, The importance of a man in a child’s life, Disciplining when there is only one parent
Social life and the Single Mother by Choice: Social life, Dating, Marriage
Each DVD is $25 and the four DVDs as a set are $75
- DVD of panel with Grown Children of SMCs: What was it like to grow up in an SMC family? A very frank discussion among some of the now-adult children.
- DVD of panel on Looking for Genetic Roots: All children have questions about their genetic heritage. How do we help our children with their questions?? (Donor Sibs: Wendy and Ryan Kramer of the DSR; Adoptive families: Joni Mantell; Research: Rosanna Hertz)
- DVD of panel with Moms of Grown SMC Children: How they view being an SMC now that their children are adults.
- DVD of a talk by Jane Mattes, Founder and Director of SMC: We Have Learned So Much - The Past 30 Years. How does growing up in an SMC family impact the children? Tips for having a happy, healthy SMC family.
Buy a limited edition SMC 30th Anniversary Key Ring!
To commemorate our 30th anniversary, we made a limited edition SMC Key Ring. This is a silver key ring with our logo, in either green or black, on a white background. Once these are sold, there will not be any more manufactured, so these will only be available for as long as supplies last.
$10 each, $15 for two, including shipping & handling
A candid and touching documentary about a group of single women who are actively pursuing motherhood – without the participation of husbands, lovers or boyfriends.
"These are not strident political activists trying to make a point but rather real, ordinary women who have not been able to find a partner willing to commit to a relationship, marriage and/or fatherhood. They are women who always thought that motherhood would be a part of their lives and, with the proverbial clock ticking, have found themselves forced to make a difficult choice- go it alone or go without."
“Compassionate, humorous – a warm-hearted group portrait.” – New York Times
“I was so deeply affected by the film. It was MY story, all of it. It was the story of our entire collective longing to be mothers.” – SMC Member