Missed our 40th Anniversary Celebration? Single Mothers by Choice had over 850 people registered to attend our 40th Anniversary Celebration. These videos cover both days of the event, over 8 hours of content and include panels and speakers such as:
• Grown children from SMC families discussing what it was like for them
• SMC moms discussing connecting with donor sibling families
• Jane Mattes, SMC founder, speaks about how we talk to our kids about the Daddy question.
• Fertility treatments, donor insemination, different paths to SMC-hood, a day in the life of an SMC, the donor puzzle, and much more!
Purchase the full recording now.
The Original Single Mothers by Choice Book
Written by SMC Founder, Jane Mattes
By Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., Founder and Director of SMC
This is the official guidebook of SMC. Jane has been a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City for over thirty years and is a single mother by choice. In this book she addresses the unique issues we face when making the decision about whether or not to become a single mother by choice, as well as the issues that come afterward.
Partial Contents: Thinking, planning, conceiving, pregnancy, birth, daddy questions, dating, and much more Some sample agreements with a known donor are also included.
Books Our Members Liked
These are some of the books that our members have liked and shared with other members of the SMC community. If you purchase them through these links a percentage of the sale will go to support SMC!
This fun, inclusive board book celebrates the one thing that makes every family a family . . . and that’s LOVE.
Love is baking a special cake. Love is lending a helping hand. Love is reading one more book. In this exuberant board book, many different families are shown in happy activity, from an early-morning wake-up to a kiss before bed. Whether a child has two moms, two dads, one parent, or one of each, this simple preschool read-aloud demonstrates that what’s most important in each family’s life is the love the family members share.
Growing a family isn’t always easy and sometimes Mommies and Daddies need a little help. Follow a couple as they go through the ups and downs of trying to make a family. See how the love and generosity of others can grow into the most wonderful gift. You Were Made For Me is a look into the unique ways that some families are made and the journey of love that brings them together. Using symbolism and sweet rhyming lyrics this book explains being born from egg, sperm or embryo donation to a young child. Beautiful illustrations encourage questions as you and your child begin this journey together. Simple elements throughout the illustrations allow for your family to discuss how your child came to be at your own speed and family readiness.
The heartwarming true story of two penguins who create a nontraditional family is now available in a sturdy board book edition.
At the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo, two penguins named Roy and Silo were a little bit different from the others. But their desire for a family was the same. And with the help of a kindly zookeeper, Roy and Silo got the chance to welcome a baby penguin of their very own.
In time for the tenth anniversary of And Tango Makes Three, this Classic Board Book edition is the perfect size for small hands.
A story book written in age-appropriate, loving language and tells the story of how a child came to be via IVF using donor sperm/egg or donor embryo. The wording is such that either scenario is represented. The book is written for 3-5 year old children. Using bears as characters, the illustrations depict the typical day in the life of a child interacting with their parent. The book describes a baby conceived by in vitro fertilization using Donor Egg/Sperm or Donor Embryo and is written for single mothers by choice. The child is not genetically related to the mother. This book does not use the words sperm or egg. The term donor is used. PLEASE NOTE: The “Before You Were Born” books were created to help as many parents as possible. Therefore, the illustrations are the same from book to book. (Please see the online sample book available for instant preview at our company website X, Y, and Me. Though portions of the textual content are unique in every book, we strongly suggest viewing the sample book and its illustrations prior to purchasing one of our books.
When Nan’s kindergarten class is planning Donuts for Dads, Nan gets teased because she doesn’t have a dad. This delightful picture book by first-time author Mary E. Ryan speaks to the many children whose families aren’t a traditional mom-and-dad model. It is a joyful and upbeat story with a charming and lovable new character.
This love letter written from mother to child invites readers to experience a baby’s month-by-month development in the womb as compared to familiar fruits and vegetables.
A mother lovingly describes the sizes and stages of her baby’s month-by-month development inside the womb, and the amazement of experiencing it from the outside.
It is a story to help single mothers by choice to share with their child how they were conceived. This is the story of a squirrel, Somy, and how she becomes a mother via sperm donation. (Also comes in a version for twins)
This is a story to help single mothers by choice to share with their child how they were conceived. It is a story of a squirrel, Somy, and how she become a Mum. After a birthday party she realizes she is growing older and needs to decide if she wants to become a Mum. She tries to meet someone and then decides to go for sperm donation. In this version she also goes for egg donation. (Also comes in a version for twins)
Follow Harvey as she takes us on her journey of being a donor-conceived person who started as a wish in her solo mama’s heart.
This artistic teen shares her happy milestones of childhood, including her modern family tree — complete with her donor and donor siblings.
How does she thrive in her beautiful life while also holding a tender hope in her heart to one day meet the person who is so perfectly a part of her? Find out how Harvey embraces the story she was born into with a blend of self-love, curiosity, vulnerability and courage that’s as unique as her conception.
Wish, Miracle, Me! invites you and your child into an affirming conversation about family, identity, belonging and resiliency.
A sweet and loving story for children about the Mommy & Child family structure, where a woman chooses to have a child on her own. Told by the main character – a young boy around 6 years old – the messages are age-appropriate and positive, delivered in a simple, straightforward fashion, as told from one child to another.
Without needing to get into the details of anatomy and avoiding imprecise terminology and metaphors that may confuse children, the book introduces the concept of a donor with sensitivity and appreciation.
This book introduces the topic of assisted reproduction in a family-friendly format. Using illustrations and appropriate language, the book explores hormone treatment, IVF and reproductive donors. The book represents families of many different compositions. It is everything you need to start the converstion about assisted reproduction!
Finally, a children’s picture book that pays homage to working moms everywhere!
My Mom Has Two Jobs celebrates the work that women do both inside and outside of the home. On each page, children proudly describe how their moms care for them in a special way, while also making the world better through their careers. The book highlights moms in a wide range of professions, including a teacher, engineer, police officer, doctor, secretary, dentist, firefighter, nurse, lawyer, waitress, military sergeant, veterinarian, and pilot.
This book gives parents a platform to talk with their kids about their work and to help kids see how parents bring the same love, passion, and dedication to both their parenting jobs and their professional jobs. The book is beautifully illustrated to embrace diverse moms of different races and ethnicities and to show the wide range of important roles that women play.
My Mom Has Two Jobs is a 2019 Readers’ Favorite Silver Medal Winner for Best Children’s Picture Book, a 2019 Independent Publisher Book Award Bronze Medalist for Best Children’s Picture Book (ages 7 and under), and a 2019 Beverly Hills Book Award Winner for Best Children’s Picture Book (all ages).
Geared to readers from preschool to age eight, What Makes a Baby is a book for every kind of family and every kind of kid. It is a twenty-first century children’s picture book about conception, gestation, and birth, which reflects the reality of our modern time by being inclusive of all kinds of kids, adults, and families, regardless of how many people were involved, their orientation, gender and other identity, or family composition. Just as important, the story doesn’t gender people or body parts, so most parents and families will find that it leaves room for them to educate their child without having to erase their own experience.
Written by sexuality educator Cory Silverberg, and illustrated by award-winning Canadian artist Fiona Smyth, What Makes a Baby is as fun to look at as it is useful to read.
Struggling with how to tell your child about their egg donor?This acclaimed children’s picture book (3-5 years old) makes it incredibly easy to start talking with your child about the special way they came into the world. Your child will want to hear about “the very kind egg donor” over and over again!Join parents worldwide who use The Pea That Was Me as a way to begin the on-going conversation about donors–reading and re-reading its extremely positive message about how much they were wanted by their parents and how lucky they were to find such a wonderful “helper.”Psychotherapist and reproductive specialist Kim Kluger-Bell uses age appropriate language and clear but simple concepts that refers to the basic fact it takes an egg, a sperm and a “tummy” to make a baby; that Mommy’s eggs weren’t working quite right, and that’s why Mommy and Daddy needed the help of “a very nice Lady who had lots of extra eggs and was happy to help.”Why wait any longer? Start reading The Pea That was Me with your child today!
The Family Book celebrates the love we feel for our families and all the different varieties they come in. Whether you have two moms or two dads, a big family or a small family, a clean family or a messy one, Todd Parr assures readers that no matter what kind of family you have, every family is special in its own unique way.
Parr’s message about the importance of embracing our differences is delivered in a playful way. With his trademark bold, bright colors and silly scenes, this book will encourage children to ask questions about their own families. Perfect for young children just beginning to read, The Family Book is designed to encourage early literacy, enhance emotional development, celebrate multiculturalism, promote character growth, and strengthen family relationships
Here is the all-too-familiar story of Monica. She and Katie have been friends since kindergarten. Monica loves being around her when she’s nice. But there are times when Katie can be just plain mean. And Monica doesn’t understand why.
Monica is a target of relational aggression, emotional bullying among friends who will use name-calling and manipulation to humiliate and exclude. But with a little help from a supportive adult—her mother—Monica learns to cope and thrive by facing her fears and reclaiming power from her bully.
Including a foreword by the founder of the The Ophelia Project, as well as helpful tips, discussion questions, and additional resources, My Secret Bully is a vital resource for children, parents, teachers, and counselors.
Maya’s friend Bailey loves to talk about everything and everyone. At first, Maya thinks Bailey is funny. But when Bailey’s talk leads to harmful rumors and hurt feelings, Maya begins to think twice about their friendship.
In her fourth book for children, relational aggression expert Trudy Ludwig acquaints readers with the damaging consequences of “trouble talk”-talking to others about someone else’s troubles in order to establish connection and gain attention. Includes additional resources for kids, parents, and teachers, as well as advice from Trudy about how to combat trouble talk. Trudy Ludwig’s books have sold more than 50,000 copies. Includes foreword by Dr. Charisse L. Nixon, author of Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying.
TEENS & PRE-TEENS (8-12 YEARS)
You can make a difference, and this book is here to help! It gives you the tools you need to recognize bullying — and be prepared to handle it. Take a quiz to learn your “speak-up” style, and read great advice from girls who have been in similar situations. With tips that include wise words to use with bullies, smart ways to ignore them, and solid advice on getting an adult’s help when needed, you’ll discover how you can make the world a safer, happier place for yourself and your friends, too.
Express Yourself: A Teen Girl’s Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are (The Instant Help Solutions Series)
Being a teen girl isn’t easy—so learning skills to feel confident is key! In Express Yourself, psychotherapist Emily Roberts will teach you how to communicate effectively and feel assertive in any situation. Whether it’s online or at school, with friends, parents, bullies, cliques or crushes—any tricky situation life throws yours way.
Now in a revised and updated 6th edition, the groundbreaking, research-based approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other challenging behaviors, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the field.
What’s an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration—crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help. Most of these parents have tried everything-reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication—but to no avail. They can’t figure out why their child acts the way he or she does; they wonder why the strategies that work for other kids don’t work for theirs; and they don’t know what to do instead.
Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren’t attention-seeking, manipulative, or unmotivated, and their parents aren’t passive, permissive pushovers. Rather, explosive kids are lacking some crucial skills in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving, and they require a different approach to parenting.
Do you long to be a mother but lack romantic prospects? Does your current partner tell you they are not ready for children? Are you afraid your time to have a child might be running out? Have you thought about becoming a single mother by choice, but been too scared or unsure about where to begin? Frances Ruiz, an award-winning author and proud single mother by choice provides practical, research-based advice to help you:
– Decide whether solo motherhood is the path for you
– Come to terms with starting a family without a partner
– Understand your fertility and how long you can afford to wait if you wish to have a genetically related child
– Explore conception paths and adoption paths
– Understand donor conception, artificial insemination, and fertility treatments backwards and forwards (IUI, ICI, IVF, donor egg, donor embryo, and more) so you can successfully knock yourself up!
– Get through pregnancy or waiting for a match
– Survive the early days with your child
– Explain your family structure with pride and confidence to your child and others
This book will empower you to take control of your timeline and live a life without regrets. If you apply the lessons from this book, you will never have to look back and wonder, “what if?”
Lania wanted it all, a career, a house, a family and a happily ever after, preferably in that order. After graduate school, she had her ideal career and a townhouse to call home but her attempts at love were not what she had expected. In her relationships, she had been the best friend, the rebound and the other girl. When she turns 31, Lania moves to Albuquerque and confides in a new Obstetrician who encourages her to consult a fertility specialist. Some days, she is eager to start the process to become a mother on her own, choosing a donor and injecting herself with hormones. Other days, she misses the road not taken and the love story that could have been. As she moves forward with her decision to have a child, she experiences criticisms from Catholic family members, discrimination at work and pregnancy complications. After Lania receives the results of a genetic test, she learns how strong a mother must be to hold on to her dream.
Are you a “wannabe” mother – a single woman who wants to have children but fears the expiration date on your motherhood dream is rapidly approaching? At 35, Yvonne was sick and tired of being a wannabe. After too many disappointing rides on the dating roller coaster, she finally realized she was ready to kick to the curb the idea of needing a partner to have a child. Love and marriage would have to wait, but baby and baby carriage had become do or die. It was time to pursue becoming a single mother by choice.
Her path to motherhood, however, was anything but a straight line. Unexpected medical hurdles, missing donor sperm, a shocking reaction to her choice, and other twists and turns marked the long journey. But as an accomplished former military officer, she was no stranger to overcoming challenges through sheer perseverance. And that is exactly what took her from being a wannabe to being a mother of twins.
If having a child on your own is a choice you’re considering, Yvonne’s honest story will offer the kind of encouragement that only a “been there, done that” testimonial can provide. As she discovered after months of heartache, thousands of dollars spent, and one phenomenal result, sometimes dreams really do come true.
Going Solo is the empowering and uplifting story of one woman’s choice to become a single mother.
‘I hope this story gives hope to anyone who wants children and to anyone who finds themselves single. Not to follow this path necessarily, but to remember that there are always many options.’
Aged thirty-seven, single and having experienced two miscarriages, Genevieve Roberts found out that her fertility levels were dwlindling. On hearing this news, she made the courageous decision to embark on motherhood solo and eventually became pregnant using a sperm donor.
Genevieve describes her initial fear of the prospect of birth without a partner, and the trepidation she felt towards all the responsibility she has taken on. She recounts all the milestones of pregnancy and motherhood that most women share with their partner — going to NCT classes alone, taking part in birthing workshops with her sister-in-law, her amazement that two people in her pregnancy yoga class are following the same path as her.
In the United States, more than 15 million women are parenting children on their own, either by circumstance or by choice. Too often these moms who do it all have been misrepresented and maligned. Not anymore. In We Got This, seventy-five solo mom writers tell the truth about their lives―their hopes and fears, their resilience and setbacks, their embarrassments and triumphs. Some of these writers’ names will sound familiar, like Amy Poehler, Anne Lamott, and Elizabeth Alexander, while others are about to become unforgettable. Bound together by their strength, pride, and―most of all― their dedication to their children, they broadcast a universal and empowering message: You are not alone, solo moms―and your tenacity, courage, and fierce love are worthy of celebration.
In this Queen Bees and Wannabes for the elementary and middle school set, child and adolescent psychotherapist Katie Hurley shows parents of young girls how to nip mean girl behavior in the bud.
Once upon a time, mean girls primarily existed in high school, while elementary school-aged girls spent hours at play and enjoyed friendships without much drama. But in this fast-paced world in which young girls are exposed to negative behaviors on TV and social media from the moment they enter school, they are also becoming caught up in social hierarchies much earlier. No More Mean Girls is a guide for parents to help their young daughters navigate tricky territories such as friendship building, creating an authentic self, standing up for themselves and others, and expressing themselves in a healthy way.
The need to be liked by others certainly isn’t new, but this generation of girls is growing up in an age when the “like” button shows the world just how well-liked they are. When girls acknowledge that they possess positive traits that make them interesting, strong, and likeable, however, the focus shifts and their self-confidence soars; “likes” lose their importance. This book offers actionable steps to help parents empower young girls to be kind, confident leaders who work together and build each other up.
Distinguished pediatrician Dr Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo are two of the world’s leading experts on baby sleep and feeding patterns. Millions of new mothers across the globe are coming toward this new brand at an increasing pace as they find and share the life changing success they are achieving with their newborns. This updated Anniversary edition celebrates 25 years with Bucknam and Ezzo’s groundbreaking approach which has found favor with over six million parents in all 50 states and has been translated into 20 languages around the world. For 25 years, On Becoming Babywise has been the de facto newborn parenting manual for naturally synchronizing your baby’s feeding time, waketime and nighttime sleep cycles, so the whole family can sleep through the night. In his 28th year as a licensed Pediatrician, Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. along with co-author Gary Ezzo, demonstrate how order and stability are mutual allies of every newborn’s metabolism.
This trailblazing memoir examines the trials-and modern scientific solutions-of balancing career and love with the realities of reproductive timing. Women are making massive strides in gender equality, edging out men as the new majority in the workforce. But, because of their brief window for childbearing, this also means a drastically shifting paradigm for motherhood and family planning. In this 2nd edition, Lehmann-Haupt has updated the inspiring, honest account of her own efforts to reconcile modern love and modern life with the latest medical research. In Her Own Sweet Time will resonate with a generation of young women who want it all-career, family, and the perfect partner-but haven’t yet figured out how it all fits together. Join Lehmann-Haupt as she interviews women and travels the world to explore and understand the new frontiers of family.
The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Without Leaving Them to Cry it Out
he go-to guide to getting infants and toddlers to fall and stay asleep, completely revised and updated
Kim West, LCSW-C, known to her clients as The Sleep Lady, has developed an alternative and effective approach to helping children learn to gently put themselves to sleep without letting them “cry it out” – an option that is not comfortable for many parents.
Essential listening for any tired parent, or any expectant parent who wants to avoid the pitfalls of sleeplessness, Good Night, Sleep Tight offers a practical, easy-to-follow remedy that will work for all families in need of nights of peaceful slumber! New material and updates include:
New yoga recommendations
Updated information for parents of young infants
Expanded information on nighttime potty training
Sleep training for twins and multiples
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
The secret behind France’s astonishingly well-behaved children.
When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn’t aspire to become a “French parent.” French parenting isn’t a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren’t doing anything special.
Yet, the French children Druckerman knows sleep through the night at two or three months old while those of her American friends take a year or more. French kids eat well-rounded meals that are more likely to include braised leeks than chicken nuggets. And while her American friends spend their visits resolving spats between their kids, her French friends sip coffee while the kids play.
Motherhood itself is a whole different experience in France. There’s no role model, as there is in America, for the harried new mom with no life of her own. French mothers assume that even good parents aren’t at the constant service of their children and that there’s no need to feel guilty about this. They have an easy, calm authority with their kids that Druckerman can only envy.
Choosing You is the deeply honest memoir of one woman’s decision to brave pregnancy and motherhood alone.
All her adult life, Alexandra Soiseth has wanted a husband, children, dogs and cats — a busy, loving, home. But at thirty-nine, with no husband on the horizon, she decides to take matters into her own hands.
She googles for sperm.
Choosing You is Alexandra’s memoir. With humor and heart, she shares the often gut-wrenching reality she faces in having a baby on her own: a mother and father who disapprove, friends who think she’s crazy, a society that thinks she’s selfish. But it is her struggle with weight and self image, possible infertility, and the terror of bringing a child into this world without a father that almost stops her from getting what she wants most — a family.
Alexandra’s story shows us all that with a little guts, a lot of love, and the internet, almost anything is possible.
Cryo Kid: Drawing a New Map is an exploration inspired by true experience. Written with insightful humor and a sense of wonder from the perspective of a seventy-something grandmother, it is educational, positive, and eye-opening. The author, Corinne Heather Copnick (Grandma), explores the exponential transformation that has taken place in families in her lifetime, as well as the infertility crisis currently experienced by career women who waited too long to have children. Her own granddaughter, the Cryo Kid of the title, seven years old in 2007, came into being through an anonymous donor from a sperm bank.Against the backdrop of three cities, Montreal, Toronto, and Los Angeles, Cryo Kid is written in several voices (narrators): the author, her daughter, the granddaughter (a gifted child who adds so much joy to their lives), and the sperm donor.It describes the experiences of two of Grandma’s daughters, who conceived through assisted-reproduction technology (sperm donors), explores the generational changes in Grandma’s own family, and details the remarkable discovery of siblings across the country, as well as the unexpected participation of the donor. The last chapter concerns well-researched future possibilities in assisted reproductive technology. (The word “cryo” is short for cryogenics.)email@example.com
There is no bigger issue for healthy infants than sleeping through the night. In this simple, straightforward book, Suzy Giordano presents her amazingly effective “Limited- Crying Solution” that will get any baby to sleep for twelve hours at night—and three hours in the day—by the age of twelve weeks old.
Giordano is the mother of five children and one of the most sought-after baby sleep specialists in the country. The Washington Post calls her a baby sleep “guru” and “an underground legend in the Washington area for her ability to teach newborns how to achieve that parenting nirvana: sleeping through the night.” Her sleep plan has been tested with singletons, twins, triplets, babies with special needs, and colicky babies—and it has never failed.
Whether you are pregnant, first-time parents, or parents who seek a different path with your second or third child, anyone can benefit from the Baby Coach’s popular system of regular feeding times, twelve hours of sleep at night and three hours of sleep during the day, and the peace of mind that comes with taking the parent and child out of a sleep- deprived world.
The renowned #1 New York Times bestselling authors share their advice and expertise with parents and teens in this accessible, indispensable guide to surviving adolescence.
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish transformed parenting with their breakthrough, bestselling books Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. Now, they return with this essential guide that tackles the tough issues teens and parents face today.
Filled with straightforward advice and written in their trademark, down-to-earth style sure to appeal to both parents and teens, this all-new volume offers both innovative, easy-to-implement suggestions and proven techniques to build the foundation for lasting relationships. From curfews and cliques to sex and drugs, it gives parents the tools to help their children safely navigate the often stormy years of adolescence.
With more than one million copies sold, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons is a remarkable step-by-step program that teaches your child to read in just 20 minutes a day—with love, care, and joy only a parent and child can share.
“[A] magical book…I’ve seen this method work in my own home, having used it with both of my children and watched that light go on.” —John McWhorter, The New York Times
Is your child halfway through first grade and still unable to read? Is your preschooler bored with coloring and ready for reading? Do you want to help your child read, but are afraid you’ll do something wrong?
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons is a complete, step-by-step guide that shows parents simply and clearly how to teach their children to read.
Twenty minutes a day is all you need, and within 100 teaching days your child will be reading on a solid second-grade reading level. It’s a sensible, easy-to-follow, and enjoyable way to help your child gain the essential skills of reading. Everything you need is here—no paste, no scissors, no flash cards, no complicated directions—just you and your child learning together. One hundred lessons, fully illustrated and color-coded for clarity, give your child the basic and more advanced skills needed to become a good reader.