Featured SMC Products
The Original Single Mothers by Choice Book Written by SMC Founder, Jane Mattes$16.00
Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood
This is the official guidebook of SMC. Jane has been a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City for over thirty years and is a single mother by choice. In this book she addresses the unique issues we face when making the decision about whether or not to become a single mother by choice, as well as the issues that come afterward.
Partial Contents: Thinking, planning, conceiving, pregnancy, birth, daddy questions, dating, and much more. Some sample agreements with a known donor are also included.
- Our founder, Jane Mattes, LCSW, is a pioneer and the leading expert in the area of single motherhood by choice. She offers both group and individual consultations to those who are considering, or have chosen single motherhood. Jane is a NYC psychotherapist and single mother by choice. She founded Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) in 1981, shortly after having her son. Over the last 40+ years she has counseled thousands of people who are considering, or have chosen, single motherhood.
If you’re just starting to consider becoming an SMC, in the planning stage, trying to conceive or adopt, or in the midst of the parenting years, a consultation can be a great help in sorting out the complex issues that may arise. Some popular topics are “I’m not sure whether or not single motherhood is for me,” “How do I explain to my child why there’s no Dad in our family”, “How do I pick a donor”, and many, many others.
If you are interested in more information about fees and scheduling an individual consultation with Jane, contact us.
Jane offers groups on Zoom about various aspects of the SMC journey to our community and beyond. The groups are small (maximum 8 people) and meet for 90 minutes.
These groups are for women considering single motherhood. Among the topics discussed are :
How do you know if single motherhood is right for you?
How are the children of SMCs turning out?
How do you handle the reactions of others?
How do you have a social and professional life while parenting as an SMC?
For more information about fees and to reserve a place in an upcoming Thinkers group, contact us.
Groups for Moms
Jane also hosts groups on Zoom about "The Daddy Questions" geared towards new moms and pregnant moms-to-be. She addresses questions such as:
How and when to tell your child about their origin story.
Who is my "Daddy?
Do I have a Daddy?
Where is my Daddy? and more.
Being prepared, and preparing your child, are important to helping the child feel comfortable with and understand their own story.
For more information about fees and to reserve a place in an upcoming "Daddy" group, contact us.
Books Our Members Liked
These are some of the books that our members have liked and shared with other members of the SMC community. If you purchase them through these links a percentage of the sale will go to support SMC!
The heartwarming true story of two penguins who create a nontraditional family in a sturdy board book edition.
At the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo, two penguins named Roy and Silo were a little bit different from the others, but their desire for a family was the same. And with the help of a kindly zookeeper, Roy and Silo got the chance to welcome a baby penguin of their very own.
A story book written in age-appropriate, loving language about how a child came to be via IVF using donor sperm/egg or donor embryo. The wording is such that either scenario is represented. The book is written for 3-5 year old children. Using bears as characters, the book is written for single mothers by choice. The child is NOT genetically related to the mother. This book does not use the words sperm or egg. The term donor is used.
The Family Book celebrates the love we feel for our families and all the different varieties they come in. Whether you have two moms or two dads, a big family or a small family, a clean family or a messy one, Todd Parr assures readers that every family is special in its own unique way.
Parr’s message about the importance of embracing our differences is delivered in a playful way. With bold, bright colors and silly scenes, this book will encourage children to ask questions about their own families.
This love letter written from mother to child invites readers to experience a baby’s month-by-month development in the womb as compared to familiar fruits and vegetables.
A mother lovingly describes the sizes and stages of her baby’s month-by-month development inside the womb, and the amazement of experiencing it from the outside.
Llama Llama’s tale of nighttime drama has charmed readers for over a decade and makes an ideal story for bedtime reading. Children will relate to Baby Llama’s need for comfort, as much as parents will appreciate Mama Llama’s reassuring message.
This fun, inclusive board book celebrates the one thing that makes every family a family . . . and that’s LOVE.
Love is baking a special cake. Love is lending a helping hand. In this exuberant book, many different families are shown in happy activity, from an early-morning wake-up to a kiss before bed. Whether a child has two moms, two dads, one parent, or one of each, this simple preschool read-aloud demonstrates that what’s most important is the love the family members share.
This is a story to help single mothers by choice share with their child how they were conceived. It is the story of a squirrel, Somy, and how she becomes a mother via sperm donation. (Also comes in a version for a mom using both egg and sperm donation, as well as a version for twins.)
Geared to readers from preschool to age eight, What Makes a Baby is a book for every kind of family. It is a 21st century children’s picture book about conception, gestation, and birth, which reflects the reality of our modern time by being inclusive of all kinds of kids, adults, and families, regardless of their orientation, gender, or family composition. Just as important, the story doesn’t gender people or body parts, so most parents and families will find that it leaves room for them to educate their child in their own way.
This book introduces the topic of assisted reproduction in a family-friendly format. Using illustrations and appropriate language, the book explores hormone treatment, IVF and donors. The book represents families of many different compositions. It is everything you need to start the conversation about assisted reproduction.
Growing a family isn’t always easy and sometimes we need a little help. You Were Made For Me is a look into the unique ways that some families are made and the journey of love that brings them together. Using sweet rhyming lyrics this book explains being born from egg, sperm, or embryo donation to a young child. Beautiful illustrations allow you to discuss how your child came to be at your own speed and readiness.
Our Story – One in series of books for donor conceived children under seven years old, this one explains about their origins. This one is for solo mums who have used sperm donation. This book is relevant for those who have used known, identifiable and anonymous donors.
A sweet and loving story for children about the Mommy & Child family structure. Told by the main character – a young boy around 6 years old – the messages are age-appropriate and positive, delivered in a simple fashion, as told from one child to another.
Without getingt into the details of anatomy and avoiding imprecise terminology that may confuse children, the book introduces the concept of a donor with sensitivity and appreciation.
A children’s picture book that pays homage to working moms everywhere!
My Mom Has Two Jobs celebrates the work that women do both inside and outside of the home. On each page, children proudly describe how their moms care for them, while also making the world better through their careers.
This book gives parents a platform to talk with kids about their work, and to help them see how parents bring the same love and dedication to both their parenting and their work. The book is beautifully illustrated to embrace diverse moms and to show the wide range of important roles that women play.
When Nan’s kindergarten class is planning Donuts for Dads, Nan gets teased because she doesn’t have a dad. This delightful picture book speaks to the many children whose families aren’t a traditional mom-and-dad model. It is a joyful and upbeat story with a charming and lovable character.
Struggling with how to tell your child about their egg donor?This acclaimed children’s picture book (3-5 years old) makes it incredibly easy to start talking with your child about the special way they came into the world. Your child will want to hear about “the very kind egg donor” over and over again!Join parents worldwide who use The Pea That Was Me as a way to begin the on-going conversation about donors–reading and re-reading its extremely positive message about how much they were wanted by their parents and how lucky they were to find such a wonderful “helper”.
Here is the all-too-familiar story of Monica. She and Katie have been friends since kindergarten. Monica loves being around her when she’s nice. But there are times when Katie can be just plain mean. And Monica doesn’t understand why.
With a little help from a supportive adult—her mother—Monica learns to cope and thrive by facing her fears and reclaiming power from her bully.
Including a foreword by the founder of the The Ophelia Project, as well as helpful tips, discussion questions, and additional resources, My Secret Bully is a vital resource for children, parents, teachers, and counselors.
Teens & Pre-Teens
Express Yourself: A Teen Girl’s Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are (The Instant Help Solutions Series)
Being a teen girl isn’t easy—so learning skills to feel confident is key! In Express Yourself, psychotherapist Emily Roberts will teach you how to communicate effectively and feel assertive in any situation. Whether it’s online or at school, with friends, parents, bullies, cliques or crushes—any tricky situation life throws yours way.
You can make a difference, and this book is here to help! It gives you the tools you need to recognize bullying — and be prepared to handle it. Take a quiz to learn your “speak-up” style, and read great advice from girls who have been in similar situations. With tips that include wise words to use with bullies, smart ways to ignore them, and solid advice on getting an adult’s help when needed, you’ll discover how you can make the world a safer, happier place for yourself and your friends, too.
Follow Harvey as she takes us on her journey of being a donor-conceived person who started as a wish in her solo mama’s heart.
This artistic teen shares her happy milestones of childhood, including her modern family tree — complete with her donor and donor siblings.
How does she thrive in her beautiful life while also holding a hope to one day meet the person who is a part of her? Find out how Harvey embraces her story with a blend of self-love, curiosity, vulnerability and courage that’s as unique as her conception.
Wish, Miracle, Me! invites you and your child into an affirming conversation about family, identity, belonging and resiliency.
Distinguished pediatrician Dr Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo are two of the world’s leading experts on baby sleep and feeding patterns. Millions of new mothers across the globe are coming toward this new brand at an increasing pace as they find and share the life changing success they are achieving with their newborns. For 25 years, On Becoming Babywise has been the de facto newborn parenting manual for naturally synchronizing your baby’s feeding time, waketime and nighttime sleep cycles, so the whole family can sleep through the night. In his 28th year as a licensed Pediatrician, Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. along with co-author Gary Ezzo, demonstrate how order and stability are mutual allies of every newborn’s metabolism.
Lania wanted it all, a career, a house, a family and a happily ever after, preferably in that order. After graduate school, she had her ideal career and a townhouse to call home but her attempts at love were not what she had expected. When she turns 31, Lania moves to Albuquerque and confides in a new obstetrician who encourages her to consult a fertility specialist. Some days, she is eager to start the process to become a mother on her own. Other days, she misses the road not taken and the love story that could have been. She experiences criticisms from family members, discrimination at work and pregnancy complications. After Lania receives the results of a genetic test, she learns how strong a mother must be to hold on to her dream.
The secret behind France’s astonishingly well-behaved children.
When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn’t aspire to become a “French parent.” French parenting isn’t a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren’t doing anything special.
Choosing You is the deeply honest memoir of one woman’s decision to brave pregnancy and motherhood alone.
All her adult life, Alexandra Soiseth has wanted a husband, children, dogs and cats — a busy, loving, home. But at thirty-nine, with no husband on the horizon, she decides to take matters into her own hands. She googles for sperm.
With humor and heart, she shares the often gut-wrenching reality she faces in having a baby on her own: a mother and father who disapprove, friends who think she’s crazy, a society that thinks she’s selfish.
Alexandra’s story shows us all that with a little guts, a lot of love, and the internet, almost anything is possible.
Cryo Kid: Drawing a New Map is an exploration inspired by true experience. Written with insightful humor and a sense of wonder from the perspective of a seventy-something grandmother, it is educational, positive, and eye-opening. The author, Corinne Heather Copnick (Grandma), explores the exponential transformation that has taken place in families in her lifetime, as well as the infertility crisis currently experienced by career women who waited too long to have children. Her own granddaughter, the Cryo Kid of the title, seven years old in 2007, came into being through an anonymous donor from a sperm bank.
Now in a revised and updated 6th edition, the groundbreaking, research-based approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other challenging behaviors, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the field.
What’s an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration—crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help.
Going Solo is the empowering and uplifting story of one woman’s choice to become a single mother.
Aged thirty-seven, single and having experienced two miscarriages, Genevieve Roberts found out that her fertility levels were dwlindling. On hearing this news, she made the courageous decision to embark on motherhood solo and eventually became pregnant using a sperm donor.
Genevieve describes her initial fear of the prospect of birth without a partner, and the trepidation she felt towards all the responsibility she has taken on. She recounts all the milestones of pregnancy and motherhood that most women share with their partner — going to NCT classes alone, taking part in birthing workshops with her sister-in-law, her amazement that two people in her pregnancy yoga class are following the same path as her.
The renowned #1 New York Times bestselling authors share their advice and expertise with parents and teens in this accessible, indispensable guide to surviving adolescence.
Filled with straightforward advice and written in a down-to-earth style sure to appeal to both parents and teens, this all-new volume offers both innovative, easy-to-implement suggestions and proven techniques to build the foundation for lasting relationships. From curfews and cliques to sex and drugs, it gives parents the tools to help their children safely navigate the often stormy years of adolescence.
This trailblazing memoir examines the trials-and modern scientific solutions-of balancing career and love with the realities of reproductive timing. Women are making massive strides in gender equality, edging out men as the new majority in the workforce. But, because of their brief window for childbearing, this also means a drastically shifting paradigm for motherhood and family planning. In this 2nd edition, Lehmann-Haupt has updated the inspiring, honest account of her own efforts to reconcile modern love and modern life with the latest medical research. Join Lehmann-Haupt as she interviews women and travels the world to explore and understand the new frontiers of family.
In this Queen Bees and Wannabes for the elementary and middle school set, child and adolescent psychotherapist Katie Hurley shows parents of young girls how to nip mean girl behavior in the bud.
No More Mean Girls is a guide for parents to help their young daughters navigate tricky territories such as friendship building, creating an authentic self, standing up for themselves and others, and expressing themselves in a healthy way.
This book offers actionable steps to help parents empower young girls to be kind, confident leaders who work together and build each other up.
The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight: Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Without Leaving Them to Cry it Out
The go-to guide to getting infants and toddlers to fall and stay asleep, completely revised and updated
Kim West, LCSW-C, known to her clients as The Sleep Lady, has developed an alternative and effective approach to helping children learn to gently put themselves to sleep without letting them “cry it out” – an option that is not comfortable for many parents.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
Are you a “wannabe” mother – a single woman who wants to have children but fears the expiration date on your motherhood dream is rapidly approaching? At 35, Yvonne was sick and tired of being a wannabe. After too many disappointing rides on the dating roller coaster, she finally realized she was ready to kick to the curb the idea of needing a partner to have a child. Love and marriage would have to wait, but baby and baby carriage had become do or die. It was time to pursue becoming a single mother by choice.
If having a child on your own is a choice you’re considering, Yvonne’s honest story will offer the kind of encouragement that only a “been there, done that” testimonial can provide.
Do you long to be a mother but lack romantic prospects? Does your current partner tell you they are not ready for children? Are you afraid your time to have a child might be running out? Have you thought about becoming a single mother by choice, but been too scared or unsure about where to begin? Frances Ruiz, an award-winning author and proud single mother by choice provides practical, research-based advice to help you:
– Decide whether solo motherhood is the path for you
– Come to terms with starting a family without a partner
– Understand your fertility and how long you can afford to wait if you wish to have a genetically related child
– Explore conception paths and adoption paths
– Understand donor conception, artificial insemination, and fertility treatments backwards and forwards (IUI, ICI, IVF, donor egg, donor embryo, and more) so you can successfully knock yourself up!
– Get through pregnancy or waiting for a match
– Survive the early days with your child
– Explain your family structure with pride and confidence to your child and others.
With more than one million copies sold, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons is a remarkable step-by-step program that teaches your child to read in just 20 minutes a day—with love, care, and joy only a parent and child can share.
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons is a complete, step-by-step guide that shows parents simply and clearly how to teach their children to read.
There is no bigger issue for healthy infants than sleeping through the night. In this simple, straightforward book, Suzy Giordano presents her amazingly effective “Limited- Crying Solution” that will get any baby to sleep for twelve hours at night—and three hours in the day—by the age of twelve weeks old.
In the United States, more than 15 million women are parenting children on their own, either by circumstance or by choice. In We Got This, seventy-five solo mom writers tell the truth about their lives―their hopes and fears, their resilience and setbacks, their embarrassments and triumphs. Some of these writers’ names will sound familiar, like Amy Poehler, Anne Lamott, and Elizabeth Alexander, while others are about to become unforgettable. Bound together by their strength, pride, and―most of all― their dedication to their children, they broadcast a universal and empowering message: You are not alone, solo moms―and your tenacity, courage, and fierce love are worthy of celebration.