20 Years Later: What’s It Like to Be an SMC?

I got this text from a friends’ daughter the other day: Hey! How was it raising Lulu on your own? Any advice?

I had my daughter 19.5 years ago which means I got pregnant in 1997. It was a very different world back then, barely an internet. There was an online database for my sperm bank, but profiles came as hard copies in the mail and they were filled out in longhand . I didn’t know, or even know of, anyone who had done what I was thinking of doing. (Side note: I did find SMC, which was the only resource at the time.)

Women today who choose to have a child on their own have endless resources available—blogs, groups, books, movies! I imagine it’s overwhelming but if you persist you can find the voices that speak to your heart and reasons for taking this step.

I answered her text … Continue reading

Single Moms By Choice Don’t Need To Do It Alone

Heard on All Things Considered


Pam Rector (left) with her daughter Grace became a single mother by choice when she was ready to have a child. Liv Aannestad is expecting her first child in March through the same process, and like all expecting parents she has some questions.

Liv Aannestad has known she wanted kids as long as she can remember.

“I always assumed it would happen the normal, typical way: I’d meet somebody, maybe either in high school or college, and maybe have a few babies,” she says.

As years went by, and she still hadn’t met the right person, Liv started thinking about doing it on her own — maybe adopting or fostering — but the timing never seemed right.

Now, she thinks it is. Liv, who is 36 and single, recently became pregnant through in vitro fertilization. Like all expecting parents, she has a lot of … Continue reading

“I've been part of the SMC community since I was thinking about getting pregnant. They always have my back with useful, nuanced advice, trustworthy info, and personal experience. I feel honored to be a member, and to see all the children grow up alongside mine.”

– Sophie Holland