I Don’t Know How You Do It

A phrase that my fellow Single Mothers by Choice (SMCs) and I are quite familiar with is, “I don’t know how you do it.”

Early in my parenting journey, I used to get extremely irritated by this phrase, and spent some time navel-gazing, trying to figure out why it bothered me so much.  I never really came up with a satisfactory explanation.  Was it because I was insecure in my abilities and that insecurity was exacerbated by having someone else point out how difficult single parenting is?  Was it because people who say they don’t know how I do “it” don’t really understand what “it” is, so the statement is meaningless — because it merely exposes a lack of critical thinking on their part?  Was it because I was uncomfortable being made out to be some kind of superwoman?  Was it because making a big deal of my situation seemed … Continue reading

“SMC has been a huge inspiration to me from the moment I became a member. I got to know many wonderful women who encouraged me to take the leap of faith and whose support over the years was just great. I treasure the life-long friendships that I have developed.”

– Rada Lankina