What is “Single Mothers by Choice”?

I met my friend Rhonda through a local chapter of the national organization Single Mothers by Choice (SMC). She and I both joined around the same time. The first time we met in person I got out of my car, and I was greeted by a tiny woman in a shimmering magenta jogging suit, her eyes hidden behind big round black sunglasses. We nervously shook hands and began talking about who we were and where we came from and how far along we were in our journey as we walked a 3-mile loop that winds along the Mississippi River and back downtown.

The second time we met we sat in a crowded coffee bar, and I drank a decaf latte a week after my second insemination. I played with the lid on my drink and told her that I didn’t want to sound terribly shallow but I was afraid of … Continue reading

Wonder Woman

When Jamie’s name appears on the caller ID, I know it can’t be good. I always hold my breath when she calls because I imagine she might be calling to tell me they used the epi-pen and Sam is now on his way to the hospital. I am lying sideways in my Lazy-boy, trying to find a way to feel comfortable when I see her number on my cell. Every muscle and joint in my body aches and I feel much older than my forty-four years. I just brought a pyrex bowl of plain white rice back to the kitchen after sampling a few bites and deciding I wasn’t ready to eat when the phone rang.

Sometimes I call Jamie our “daycare provider” but over the years she has become so much more than that. She is a friend, an advice giver, a consultant, a teacher, a partner in crime, … Continue reading

Seasons of Community

A while ago I posted on the Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) private online Forum about “building community”. My post went something like this:

This is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile — how to build a “community” for my son and I. I have terrific support from my parents, who live in town. I have several close friends, but our kids are different ages, different schedules. We live in neighborhood with either very young (toddler) kids or older (middle school kids).        

I’ve left the church my son was baptized in (and I was confirmed in). It has become super conservative and not the place for us. Finding a spiritual home is top on my list, but my son is not so thrilled. The problem with selecting a spiritual home is that even then, I’m not sure how much of a community it’ll be for us as we live Continue reading

“I felt at home in SMC and being around others who had the same dream was a great help. SMC support gave me confidence and encouragement throughout the process and the benefit of meeting other women who were on the same journey.”

– Anonymous