Doing It Alone
Looking back, I’ve never really minded the times in my life when I was alone. While I spent a lot of time in long term relationships, unlike many of my close friends, I also liked the times I was single. I enjoyed having space and freedom to come and go as I pleased, never feeling obligated to check in with someone or navigate the give and take of shared decision making. I suppose that was one of the reasons that led me to becoming a single mother by choice.
My daughter turned one in April of 2020, about six weeks into the pandemic, right about the time I felt I was getting the hang of motherhood. I recall person after person commenting that they couldn’t imagine having a toddler during the pandemic. What they didn’t say, but I felt, was that they couldn’t imagine having a toddler during the pandemic … Continue reading
What a time. At the end of 2020 I arranged for childcare for my first New Year’s Eve “out” at a Masquerade Ball with a friend. When that fell through at the eleventh hour, I desperately scrambled for a back up…miraculously begging and bribing my way to childcare that night.
These are strange times. It’s the peak (here’s hoping) of the pandemic and we’re in the days between the (second) impeachment and the inauguration. (As someone on Twitter said, “I can’t believe it’s time for another impeachment already–I feel like I just took down my decorations from the last one.”)
It’s hard to express what it feels like to go from being a devoted Single Mother by Choice to being a committed family of four. 
Just a couple of weeks later, I changed my mind about having a potential suitor wait six months to meet my children. Despite my desire to protect them, I didn’t want to commit six months to this relationship, only to have their meeting be a disaster. We planned for just a quick ice cream outing, nothing too ambitious. Short and sweet.