difficulty Archives - Single Mothers by Choice

First Year as an SMC: My Expectations and Realities

I can’t believe Claudette is 10 months and I’m planning her first birthday. Been working on her baby book and I’m already struggling to remember some stuff about the first few months! Seems so long ago in some ways…but also just like yesterday. As my first year of motherhood comes to a close, I’ve been thinking about what it’s been like – what turned out like I expected and what was different. Wondering how it’s been for other moms who are now coming to the end of their first year.

1. I did not expect to have sleep deprivation for this long – that she still would not be sleeping through the night at 10 mos. No one ever says this. All I ever heard was how most babies sleep through the night at 3-4 mos. Liars! LOL The sleep deprivation has been brutal.

2. Did not expect the physical … Continue reading

The Jeep

Gracie had her wrist surgery last Monday, and it went great. It was a ganglion cyst after all—that’s what my gut was telling me, but the tests all reported that it wasn’t consistent with a ganglion—so it’s a relief to have that settled. She was really nervous about the anesthesia, but she was very brave through it all and I’m so proud of her.

My mom flew in to provide moral support, and she waited at home with Isabelle, who got to go to school late because of her sister’s surgery. We got back from the hospital about 10:15, and I swapped kids and took #2 daughter to school. Obviously Grace hadn’t had anything to eat since dinner the night before, because of the anesthesia, but as it happened, I hadn’t either. We had to be at the hospital really early, and the surgery was short enough that I didn’t … Continue reading

No One

As I sit here tonight going through pictures of Tate,’checking’ Facebook, deleting some emails, I am overwhelmed by the quiet of my home. Tate has been in bed since 7, and Vincent is still not pleased with me over his visit to the vet yesterday. I looked around and just became insidiously aware of my aloneness. Every. Single. Night. Once Tate is asleep I do have a myriad of things to accomplish before I can rest and just be. I have to clean up the dirty dinner dishes, clean out his lunch bag and backpack and put all those items into the dishwasher or clean them. There’s always laundry to be done, picking up after Tate (and the cat), dishwasher to be emptied, bills to pay and showers to take. But it’s all done alone.

Just me.

No one to share the details of my day with. No one to … Continue reading