I was sitting at my desk at work, just a few days away from insemination, and all of a sudden, an invisible brick fell out of the sky and hit me on the head. I could almost see the pebbles of concrete rolling down the sides of my hair and the dusty clouds billowing up around me like in a cartoon. Blamo. No way, I thought. No f-ing way.
You can not do this, I thought. I could not be a single mother. I would be alone and miserable. I saw an image of myself in a gloomy apartment, alone at two in the morning, with a screaming, unreasonable, miserable a child. I would be dejected and more alone than I could imagine. No, no, no, no, no.
I canceled my insemination and then immediately got the flu. It sucked but at least I had time to calm down and … Continue reading