I recently got together with some folks, including a single mother by choice (SMC) who is a full-time mom and her delightful 14 month old son. She was clearly relishing being his mom, and he was equally clearly adoring her. When we got to chatting a bit, she confided to me that she was feeling a little bit guilty about how much she was enjoying being a mother. After all, she said, didn’t the women of earlier generations go through a lot in order for women to have the right to be liberated from being “just mothers”? Was it okay for her to WANT to spend her time being a mom? And to enjoy it so much?

Having been one of those women whose consciousness was raised in the tumultuous sixties, I pondered her question for a moment, and then remembered — it was all about CHOICE. We believed that Continue reading

We Can Fight in Combat but……

Recently, two news stories caught my attention. The ban on women serving in military combat will soon be lifted, and the city of New York is going to launch a campaign against single motherhood. It’s ironic how these two stories send such contradictory messages about women.

For over thirty years, since the Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) organization began, critics have been declaring that we SMCs are “destroying society” and putting our children in danger. Really? Exactly how are we destroying society? By having children who are so wanted that we are willing to raise them without the support or help of a partner? By having waited until we were fairly mature and had a decent-enough income to support a child on our own? Could that be somehow destroying society? I don’t get it.

Could it be that they mean that we are destroying the myth that it takes two … Continue reading

“To me, being an SMC means taking the courageous step to fulfill your dreams. The support, empowerment, and honest advice I received from other SMCs gave me the courage to take this step, and when I look into my baby's eyes, I know it's the best decision I've ever made.”

– Nikita Parsons