Time to Deck the Halls

Young boy admiring Christmas tree. The title of this post could be ‘Disappointment’, but……  Well, you’ll see.

Yesterday Tate and I returned home from my parents’. I had come back to our place on Friday afternoon to clean up, sans small child, and get the Christmas tree and decorations out. I lugged our huge, yes artificial, tree up the stairs and got the boxes all out from under the stairs in the garage. I was so excited to put the tree together and hang the ornaments with Tate on Saturday. I was hoping to start our own tradition of putting our tree up the Saturday of Thanksgiving complete with Christmas music on the CD player, a chill in the air, and children laughing! Yes, my child laughing was part of my tradition picture. My child putting an ornament or two on the tree was part of my tradition picture. The two of us hanging out … Continue reading

I Am Thankful For…..

Happy Thanksgiving message with assorted pumpkins on rustic wooden boardsThis is a compilation of posts by some of our SMC members. They were posted on our lively online discussion Forum, inspired by the Thanksgiving holiday.  Good Thanksgiving wishes to you all!

I am thankful for:
My two beautiful, healthy, smart, funny girls.
My amazing family, who are supportive, though many miles away.
My job, which was at risk for many months, but is once again mostly stable and secure.
My friends, without whose help some weekends would last months, and who have provided a local family for my family.
The internet, without which I never would have found SMC and the incredible community of women you are.

Parents who, after struggling to accept me, are excited and supportive of my journey.
Friends, past, present and future, some of whom are other SMCs I’ve met through this wonderful community.
I am finally on my way to building the family I’ve Continue reading

A New Year

iStock_fireworksI gave up making New Year’s resolutions a long time ago. I always aimed too high and set myself up for failure. What’s more, I’m making resolutions all year ‘round, so there doesn’t seem to be much point in forcing myself to come up with new ones just because I’m hanging up a new calendar. (Oops, there’s a resolution: upload the new photo calendar to the Costco website before February!)

So, how did I spend New Year’s Eve? We were newly home from having spent Christmas in Phoenix with family, the girls were in bed, and I was enjoying a quiet, cozy evening with a book and a glass of wine. What once would have been considered a New Year’s Eve FAIL —sitting home alone— now felt like bliss.

And I remembered that, several years before I had my kids, I had improvised my own New Year’s Eve ritual. I … Continue reading

Happy Holidays from SMC

Happy Holidays from SMC!

Thanks to your support and participation, this has been a wonderful year for SMC.  

 I hope that the coming year brings you all of the good things you’re wishing for – – and even more.  

Best Regards, Jane Mattes,  LCSW. 

SMC Founder & Director

If you’re a single woman who is thinking about choosing single motherhood, trying to adopt or conceive, or already a mom. we’d love to have you join us!Continue reading

First Christmas

My little one is now 4 months old and the light of my life. He has been such an easy baby.  Other than when he was born, I didn’t hear him cry until he was about 5 weeks old (because he was hungry in his car seat. Easy fix.) He has been a good sleeper from the get go. I have never been sleep deprived. I had terrible insomnia during the TTC process and whilst pregnant. The second he was born I felt a weight lift off of me. The stress dissolved and I could finally relax as it was all over. Maybe he picked up on this because he is a chilled out little guy.

I had no idea that infants have a personality. I had always said that I’d be happy to be handed a six month old and go from there… How wrong I was! This kid … Continue reading

Happy Labor Day

HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND!

iStock_barbecueSmall

THE SMC BLOG WILL RETURN NEXT WEEK.

Do you have questions about deciding to become an SMC, trying to conceive, or single parenting?  Join SMC and get great support and wisdom from our members. Continue reading

Why I’m Not (Too) Afraid of Father’s Day

As we approach Father’s Day this year, it occurred to me that no one, aside from the social worker whose job it is to broach such tough questions, has asked me about the “daddy issue.” As a single woman hoping to conceive a child with a donor, there will be no father in our family (unless I’m lucky enough to find a husband later in life). I know, despite everyone’s support, at least a few people must have wondered how I feel about raising a child without a dad. The truth? Scared. But also steadfast.

I was raised in a family with two loving parents, a mom and a dad. So were nearly all of my friends. I didn’t even have a friend with divorced parents until high school. So the idea of raising a child in any form of non-traditional family is frightening, but that’s because it’s unknown, not … Continue reading

First Christmas

My little one is now 4 months old and the light of my life. He has been such an easy baby. Except for when he was born, I didn’t hear him cry until he was about 5 weeks old (because he was hungry in his car seat. Easy fix.) He has been a good sleeper from the get go. I have never been sleep deprived. I had terrible insomnia during the TTC process and while pregnant. The second he was born I felt a weight lift off of me. The stress dissolved and I could finally relax, as it was all over. Maybe he picked up on this because he is a chilled out little guy.

I had no idea that infants have a personality. I had always said that I’d be happy to be handed a six month old and go from there.. How wrong I was! This kid … Continue reading

“After I joined SMC, I learned so much! One of the best things was not feeling alone. So many had gone before me, and if they could do it, then so could I! My local group was a great source of support and becoming an SMC was the best decision I've ever made.”

– Joyce Gabbert