Becoming a single mother by choice goes against society’s script. When you announce that you are planning to start a family on your own, you might be disappointed by the response you receive.
Why don’t your friends and family want you to have a baby on your own? Can’t they see that having a child will be a wonderful and joyful addition to your life?
It’s a new concept to them
I still remember when I got my first tattoo as a teenager and my grandfather saw it. He was shocked, even horrified. In his generation a “good girl” would never dream of getting a tattoo. But you know what? He came around. He just needed a little time to adjust.
A similar pattern can occur when a woman tells members of previous generations that she is considering becoming a single mother by choice (SMC). SMCs are something that older … Continue reading
When I first reached out to friends and family to tell them of my decision to become a single mother by choice, I expected people to tell me it would be hard, harder than I could imagine, maybe too hard to really want to do it on my own. And while I was lucky to receive tremendous support of my decision, a few friends and family members were honest enough to tell me this, not to scare me off, but to make sure I knew what I was getting into.
I appreciated the honesty, but I knew what I was getting into. (Go ahead, you can laugh at me now.)
I’d heard the stories of rough labors, seen my friends and family members’ struggles with nursing, tried to offer help and comfort when exhaustion, or illness, or the newest tough stage of development had worn them thin. I knew it … Continue reading
My mother and I just finished a phone conversation about my plans for the upcoming weekend. We discussed how the guy I’m currently casually dating is not coming to visit (he lives 2.5 hours away) because he has to work tomorrow. In the past month, he and I have backed off a bit, mainly because I’m busy, he’s busy, and yeah, it’s long distance. I really like him and could see myself marrying/having kids with him, but he’s older and already has two teenagers (ages 15 and 13). He has a lot of drama in his life unrelated to me, and while he says he wants to eventually get married and have more kids, part of me doesn’t believe him. The two he has are close to 18, and he’ll then be done paying formal child support. Part of me thinks he’s just telling me he wants more kids because … Continue reading