Tag: single mom

Making the Punishment Fit the Crime

He’s done it again!  My son has pushed my last button, again!  

I am exhausted and stressed beyond words, and finally, finally have everything that absolutely must be done before bed completed, and am on my way in to bed when I find my little night owl five year old has rearranged the living room back to the absolute chaos it was before I straightened it, not one hour ago.  The room that I had taken my precious waning energy and very limited time and straightened, to put one tiny corner of my life back in order.

And I am a screaming fool, again! I have tried deep breathing, and affirmations, and I have explained to him not to follow me and undo everything I did in the living room time and time again.  There is no “finding humor” in the situation.  I am five steps past “I” statements.  There … Continue reading

My College Student

I was just thinking back on the years of my son’s childhood. Of the countless times I curled up with my toddler, reading dinosaur encyclopedias again and again, when we would reach the last page and he would say “again, Mommy”. Of reading by flashlight under fabric tents we constructed across the living room. Of having dinner with my teenager at 11pm, 5 nights a week, so we could eat together when he returned from basketball practice or the gym. Of the history books I read as an adult to gain knowledge of a subject that I had avoided all of my life, so I could share in what he was learning. Of stepping off the edge to rappel down ropes, through tears and fear of heights, to share his sense of adventure. I was thinking back on all of the love, laughter, activities, and experiences that we shared together. … Continue reading

Happy Fourth Birthday

Four years ago today, I held my beautiful little boy for the first time.  The nurse escorted me to the operating room at noon for a scheduled c-section, and by 12:45 I had become a mother. I felt the warm skin and tender breath of my son, as his grandma held him to my chest.  Amazed at how quickly and efficiently the delivery took place, I reflected that in less time than I have spent going to the post office and waiting in line to mail a package, I had a baby.   I was not prepared for the next four years to pass just as quickly.  The happiest and most fulfilling days of my life were those four months of maternity leave when my days and nights revolved totally around my newborn love.  Even through the sleep-deprived and chaotic early weeks, I felt an inner peace and contentment.  How quickly … Continue reading

When We’re All Dead…….

“What sports did Grandpa Jim like?” my son asks. We are standing in the kitchen and he is pulling the scissors out from the drawer, cutting the plastic wrap off a frozen raspberry fruit bar.

“He liked all sports,” I say. Sam hands me the wrapper and I place it in the can under the sink. “But I think baseball was his favorite. Baseball and basketball and football.”

We have just snuck inside during Eva’s nap after spending an hour outside in the sticky humidity tossing basketballs into the net from different distances, the point values for each shot marked on the driveway with chalk. Sam was upset when he couldn’t make the shots as easily as he had yesterday, and his voice was getting whinier and higher until finally (thank God!) he made a 5-point shot and declared himself the winner.

Later in the evening we lay in bed … Continue reading

Having an Army of Support

When I began the trying to conceive (TTC) process , I  joined Single Mothers by Choice (SMC).  As I lay here, 32 weeks pregnant with twins on bed rest, I didn’t consider how important a community of support would be before my babies arrived.

While I realize that many SMCs choose to be very private about their decision, I decided very early on to be very open with friends and family. I wanted and needed for people to cheer me on, to support me, and to be a part of my exciting journey. Fortunately, almost everyone “got on the bus” very quickly.

I got pregnant on my 5th try and was surprised to learn that I was pregnant with twins. I hoped for a smooth pregnancy but knew the risks. I don’t have family near by. I live in DC, and my family is in Michigan. At 26 weeks, my … Continue reading

“After I joined SMC, I learned so much! One of the best things was not feeling alone. So many had gone before me, and if they could do it, then so could I! My local group was a great source of support and becoming an SMC was the best decision I've ever made.”

– Joyce Gabbert